"My Compass Is Unique"

So, Jack Sparrow has this super handy dandy magical object called his compass.  And we've talked all about the crazy places it's lead him.  But for some period of time in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, the compass isn't behaving.  And this is a problem because Jack can't find the key to the chest which holds the heart of Davy Jones to stab it if he has no direction to get to it.  So to fix this problem, Jack and his crew sail to Tia Dalma's shack for advice.  After all, it was Tia Dalma who gave him this gift.  They even pay her an undead monkey for her help.

They bring Will Turner on this little journey also, because it's not a party unless Orlando Bloom is there!  But Will has no idea all this is happening to Jack.  So he gets right down to business with Tia Dalma.  Will: "We're looking for this and what it goes to."  He shows her the drawing of the key.  Tia Dalma looks rather confused for a moment, and then calls to Jack: "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?"  Jack looks very uncomfortable at this question: "Maybe.  Why?"  This makes Tia Dalma giggle.  Tia Dalma: "Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants.  Or do you know but loathe to claim it as your own?"  Jack decides it best to not answer this question.  The compass points to whatever the holder wants the most in this whole world, except you have to have it clearly in your mind.  But Jack doesn't know what he wants the most, so the compass cannot show him his way to it.  But then Elizabeth Swann joins the party and saves him his worries, for now, because she on the other hand knows clearly what she wants: William Turner.  Elizabeth: "All I want is to find Will."  Jack: "Are you certain?  Is that what you really want most?"  Elizabeth: "Of course." Jack: "Because I would think, you'd want to find a way to save Will the most."  

Jack's onto something, as usual.  Because if all she wanted to do was find Will, she could just kill herself at see, and wait for Davy Jones to come and recruit her!  Then she and Will could be together for a whole eternity working their butt's off on the Flying Dutchman.  Although I'm not so sure if they take female recruits.  Elizabeth: "And you'd have a way of doing that?"  Jack: "Well, there is a chest."  Norrington is adding his rude commentary in the background since Jack has just hired him for his crew.  Norrington: "Oh dear."  Jack just shoots him a rather cold look and continues: "A chest of unknown size and origin." Then our favorite pirates Pintel and Ragetti wander by.  Pintel: "With the still-beating heart of Davy Jones."  Ragetti pretends his hand is a beating heart.  Jack: "And whoever posses that chest posses the leverage to command Jones to do whatever it is he or she wants.  Including, saving brave William from his grim fate."  How easily Jack turns what he wants into what Elizabeth wants.  Norrington knows better: "You don't actually believe him, do you?"  

Elizabeth just looks suspiciously back and forth between the two pirates, but she gives in to Jack's plan: "How do we find it?"  That's when the plan unfolds as Jack pulls out his compass.  Jack: "With this.  My compass is unique."  Norrington again has something to say: "Unique having the meaning of broken."  Norrington insulted this same compass in Curse of the Black Pearl also.  He's just jealous.  Jack: "True enough.  This compass does not point North."  Elizabeth is listening intently: "Where does it point?"  Jack: "It points to the thing you want most in this world."  Jack gives her that charming smiling that just about everyone has to give into.  Elizabeth: "Oh Jack.  Are you telling the truth?"  Jack: "Every word, love."  Except for the part about Will, but we can let that one pass.  Jack: "And what you want most in this world is to find the chest of Davy Jones, is it not?"  Elizabeth gets all defensive at this: "To save Will!"  Jack: "By finding the chest of Davy Jones."  He places the compass in her hands and quickly runs off.  

The compass shakes a bit but finally comes to a stop, which she is surprised to find is not north.  Jack reappears, happier than usual.  Jack: "Mr. Gibbs!"  Gibbs: "Cap'n."  Jack: "We have our heading!"  Gibbs: "Finally!"  After many weeks of not knowing where to go because of the misguiding compass and very vague headings, the crew can finally set sail for their destination, thanks to Elizabeth for playing the perfect tool!  I guess Elizabeth can be useful for something because the compass does indeed lead them to the chest.

"Now...what do we have here?"

Jack Sparrow has reformed and went to law school. Haha  or not!  He is merely impersonating a Judge.   Now why would he take such huge risk and appear in public?  Well his first mate Gibbs was on trial.  However there was some confusion about Gibbs' name, Gibbs: "I told 'em, I'm not Jack Sparrow, who I would be happy to identify to the court, if it would help my case." Jack: "I think that it would be a poor defense, unless you want to be bludgeoned again like a harp seal."  Luckily Jack is clever and finds something to charge Gibbs with that wont get him killed or bludgeoned like a harp seal. Jack:"Shut it! [Bangs his gavel] Joshamee Gibbs. The crime of which you have been found guilty of, is of being innocent of being Jack Sparrow. I hereby commute your sentence and order that you be imprisoned for the remainder of your miserable, moribund, mutton-chopped life."   

Now it's really settled.  Jack reconnects with Gibbs by simply being a pirate. He hops on the pirate transport wagon with Gibbs they have a quick chat about Jack's plans Gibbs:"What about you, Jack? Last I heard, you were hell bent to find the Fountain of Youth. Any luck?" Jack:"Circumstances arose, and forced a compelling insight regarding discretion and valor." Gibbs:"Meaning, you gave up." Jack:"I did not! I am just as bent as ever, hellishly so. I shall taste those waters, Master Gibbs. Mark my words." Gibb's also informs Jack of the rumors swinging around the pub, Gibbs:"Then I hear a rumor. Jack Sparrow was in London, with a ship, and looking for a crew." Jack:"Am not." Gibbs:"But that's what I heard. Fact is, you're signing up men tonight, pub called Captain's Daughter."  
Oh boy, I guess Jack isn't the only one doing impersonations. Shortly after getting started they come to an abrupt halt. Completely unaware to the swarm of Officers awaiting them; Jack and Gibbs greet the fresh air. Two seconds later they notice the field of red.   Jack is whisked away to one of the King's palaces to await his punishment. Little did he know, the King actually wants to enlist Jack to help him find the Fountain of Youth.  Also making an appearance Jack's old friend and the Navy's newest recruit Captain Hector Barbossa. Looking less then spiffy powdered and in his dress blues, and shiny peg leg.  

Jack however wasn't paying any attention to the King, as his sole focus was on the nice cream puffs.  Eventually Jack Makes his move, he climbs on the table and leaps to the chandelier and swings there while gaining momentum he jumps all over the room and then makes an exit out the doors and down the hall. He is immediately followed by the King's men, he is fast on his feet and quite clever he jumped out a window and zip lined down to the street.  He scurried through the streets in and out of carriages and eventually landed aboard a coal cart grabbed the reigns from the driver and haphazardly drove spilling coal all the way. 

He jumped from the coal cart and grabbed onto a sign that happened to be for the pub in which he was supposedly hiring a crew. After a close shoot out between an officer and his father Teague. He headed in, in search of his impersonator. And let me tell ya he was in for a big surprise.

"So there is a curse...that's interesting."

We all know Pirates are not the brightest bulbs in the box, but stealing cursed gold was an all time low for the crew of The Black Pearl. After realizing they were cursed the crew had to chase down all gold they spent and or threw in the ocean (haha just kidding, but it wouldn't surprise me at the rate they're going).  They had found all but one piece and when Elizabeth fell into big blue wearing said coin as a medallion it sent a shock wave through the sea and alerted the pirates of it location. Soon after Elizabeth's unfortunate swim the Pearl arrived in Port Royal, and we got to see all their wonderful skeleton faces every time they stepped into the moonlight.  Some of them look better the others, my favorite cursed members are:

4. Pintel and Ragetti

While the crew was attacking Port Royal Pintel and Ragetti gained access to the Governor's mansion. After searching high and low they found what they were looking for; Elizabeth Swann and the last missing gold coin, they were very cordial and gave her a nice greeting "Hallo, poppet."  Mission accomplished,stinks to be you Elizabeth! (For that and many other reasons)  They also get another important job of dressing up like ladies to distract the Royal Navy.  Clever, right?

 3. The Bo'sun 

 Well lets just say the Bo'sun has a very short fuse. And he isn't Jack's biggest fan (duh we are!) "You will speak when spoken to" He angrily spat out at Jack when they were reunited on Isla de Muerta. Later on while still cursed he led the charge against the Royal Navy while Jack and Barbossa were locked in an epic duel. He was eventually killed after the curse was lifted.

2. Hector Barbossa

 I know I should hate him for trying to kill Jack but the duel they had so great I have to honor Captain Barbossa. (Plus I secretly love him!)  Anyways,  He thinks he has the upper hand because he is immortal. But, so is Jack(surprise!).  So they fight all around the cave trash talking all the way "So what now, Jack Sparrow? Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle 'til Judgement Day and trumpets sound, hmm?", and avoiding treasure to stay on their feet.  All the while Will is waiting until the perfect moment to spill a drop of blood on the cursed gold.  

1. Jack Sparrow

During this epic duel Jack revealed his immortality to Barbossa when he was fatally stabbed and didn't die"I couldn't resist, mate." (speaking of the aztec gold). He dramatically posed with a sword threw his torso, and examined his exposed finger bones while Hector looks on in disbelief.  After Jack has his fun, its back to the duel but not for long. Jack signals Will and simultaneously they delivered the fatal blow. Jack shot Barbossa with the gun he was given when his crew marooned him, and Will spilled some blood for a good cause to break the curse. and Hector died surrounded by gold, a Pirate's dream come true.

"Trounced by a girl from a convent"

Jack Sparrow first meets Esmeralda Maria Consuela Anna de Sevilla when he is just a boy, the age of  nine, living in Shipwreck City.  Lady Esmeralda is fifteen, sailing on her grandfather's ship, the Venganza.  Originally, her grandfather sent her to a convent school in Barcelona, Spain, but she quickly gets bored of it and dreams to be a pirate like him.  Esmeralda: "After my parents died, he decided I must become a fine lady, perhaps serve at court, so he put me in a convent school in Barcelona.  I missed him-and the sea-so much."  Love for the sea?  Sounds like Jack.  So grandfather takes her to Shipwreck Cove, in hopes that all the craziness will scare her from being a pirate.  That's when Jack first lays his eyes on her, but not the last.  You see, her grandfather, Don Rafael, is the pirate lord of the Caribbean Sea so his boat tends to drop by Shipwreck Cove every so often.  So Jack, being a mischievous little boy, yanks her braid (not uncommon for children to do to the people they like), and she beats him up!  Pretty intense.  Jack describes her being "a short, chubby brat".  So after that great introduction, they don't meet again for years.  

But at the age 20, Jack again in Shipwreck City, as he is in the crew of Captain Teagues ship, the Troubadour.  Don Rafael has given in to her becoming a pirate and is in town for a meeting with Teague and some of the other Pirate Lords concerning the rogue pirates.  However, after eleven years the meet again.  She's still petite for her age, but is no longer chubby, but you can bet she was pretty.  Of course, Jack takes a liking to her very quickly.  After trying to make himself look the most attractive (doesn't take much), he joins her, Don Rafael, Teague, and some of the other pirate lords for dinner on board Teague's ship.  And afterwards he escorts her back to ther grand father's ship.  It's not very surprising at all that he charms her pretty quickly.  They spend time together while her grandfather and Teague are at meetings.  They take food and wine and in a dory to different coves.  They swam, fenced, ate, laughed, and talked.  Jack says "they talked as though they'd been deaf and mute until they'd met each other." How touching <3 But they keep all this secret, because Teague warned Jack to stay clear of her.  

Teague: "Don Rafael's quick with his blade.  Even at his age, he'd spit you like a suckling pig, and I wouldn't lift my little finger to stop him."  Kinda harsh.  But there is another problem in their relationship: Christophe, the secret rogue pirate.  Being a very attractive young woman, Jack's not the only pirate with an eye on her.  After two weeks of it just being the two of them, Christophe asks to join them.  Jack hasn't revealed his true feelings to Esmeralda yet but Christophe showed no such self restraint.  
He never misses a chance to hold her hand to help her up, or touch her arm when showing her new fencing moves.  It's pretty clear where Christophe is going with this, and Jack's afraid that he'll loose her to this older and apparently more handsome captain.  But of course, no one could resist Jack Sparrow, could they?  So one early morning  she decides to move the dory.  But this confuses Jack because she thinks she doesn't want to hang out with him any more.  But really, it's just the opposite.  Esmeralda: "I . . . I didn't want Christophe coming along."  Point for Jack!  But it gets better: "He's too forward.  And, while the three of us were together, I never got a chance to talk to you.  Jack, I've missed you."  So they share their first kiss together,while rowing in the  about in the dory.  Jack always wins!

"I saved your life, you saved mine."

James Norrington thinks he has it all together.  He's about to receive a promotion to Commodore of the Royal Navy and propose to the daughter of the governor of Port Royal, who he is deeply fond of: Elizabeth Swann.  So after his promotion ceremony, he takes her aside and they go together to the top of Fort Charles, overlooking the Caribbean Sea.  Norrington: "You look lovely, Elizabeth."  Indeed she does, but her dress is so tight on her she can barely breathe.  She's panting and fanning herself desperately.  James doesn't seem to notice: "I apologize if I seem forward, but I must speak my mind.  This promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have not yet achieved.  A marriage to a fine woman.  You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth."  She seems to be actually listening now, but she still is gasping.  Elizabeth: "I can't breathe!"  

The sun and the dress must be getting to her.  Norrington: "Yes, I'm a bit nervous myself."  In slight embarrassment, he turns away.  But right at the wrong moment.  She faints and starts falling down into the sea.  Norrington turns back to where she was standing, puzzled by the silence.  But things only get even more puzzling when she's no longer there.  Norrington: "Elizabeth?"  Then he sees the splash in the water so very far below and starts to panic: "Elizabeth!"  He's about to jump down after her, but some of the other soldiers hear him and come to see whats going on.  Soldier: "The rocks!  Sir, it's a miracle she missed them!"  So he runs down to get help.  Mean while, Jack is hanging out on the interceptor telling Murtog and Mullroy all about his many adventures and fooling them quite a bit.  

This is Elizabeth's lucky day because she randomly decided to out on the pirate medallion.  Well this little piece of gold makes a huge scene when it hits the water dramatically.  The wind changes and things get a little creepy.  Jack saves the day by jumping into the water and saving her from the bottom of the sea.  They reach the surface, Elizabeth still unconscious. Jack can't keep both of them afloat so he rips off her new fancy dress and lets it sink to the bottom.  He finally brings her back onto the Interceptor, cuts off her corset, and she begins to breathe.  The only problem is that the Royal Navy has arrived by this time lead by the new Commodore James Norrington.  But once they find out Jack is a pirate, they arrest him at once.  Elizabeth: "Commodore, I really must protest!"(  She seems quite used to calling him Commodore even though it's only his first day on the job. ) Norrington pretty much ignores her. 

Elizabeth: "Pirate or not, this man saved my life."  Norrington: "One good deed does not redeem a man of a life time of wickedness."  Norrington, like Will, like Beckett, seems to loathe pirates.  Jack, of course, comes up with something witty: "It's enough to condemn him."  Norrington: "Indeed."  When they finish putting the handcuffs on him, Jack acts quickly: "Finally."  He flings his handcuffs around Elizabeth's neck and hold her tightly so she can't get away.  Governor Swann has his usually petty fit about his poor little girl.  Governor: "No!  No!  Don't shoot!"  Jack: "I knew you'd warm up to me.  Commodore Norrington, my effects, please.  And my hat."  You really can't forget his hat.  All the soldiers look very nervous and aren't sure what to do, even Norrington.  Jack becomes impatient.  Jack: "Commodore!"  Grudgingly, Norrington gives Jack back all his supplies (even though he talked about how crappy they were).  

Jack creepily tries to start a conversation with his captive.  Jack: "Elizabeth . . . It is Elizabeth?"  Elizabeth: "It's Miss Swann."  Jack: "Miss Swann, if you'd be so kind.  Come, come, dear.  We don't have all day."  Since Jack's hands are cupped, she has to take his stuff and put them away for him.  He keeps his gun out, pointed at her head to make sure she cooperates (which she hardly ever does).  Jack: "If you'll be very kind."  So she angrily puts his hat on his head and slips his back around his back, causing her to reach her arm around him.  This of course makes Jack very happy and he gives a little "haha" look to Norrington who is jealously watching.  He just rolls his eyes.  Jack: "Easy on the goods, darling."  Elizabeth: "You're despicable."  It's so funny to see her hate Jack so much when you know how she feels about him later.  Jack: "Sticks and stones, love.  I saved your life, you saved mine.  We're square."  He has a point.  She was trying to save his life before.  He shoves her back around and does his usually announcement: "Gentlemen, my lady, you will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow."  With that she shoves Elizabeth free and blasts himself into the air.  

The governor doesn't exactly approve of this behavior and they all start to shoot at him missing of course.  And this is the first of many of Jack Sparrow's brilliantly improvised escapes.  Probably not the best day for Norrington though, since Elizabeth never gets back to him about the proposal until much later.  His very first day on the job he has to deal with the best pirate ever not to mention deffend the love of his life!  If only he wasn't turning his back on her when she fell.  Poor guy, you'd think some young man as good looking as he is would get a little luck.  But then again, he's up against Captain Jack Sparrow.  Does anyone really stand a chance?

"The Infinite Mystery of it all"

After the death of Blackbeard and the destruction of the Fountain of Youth, everyone has their own way of celebrating.  Jack rows Angelica over to a little speck of land in the middle of nowhere and leaves her there with but one shot to shoot herself.  Well, she wastes her chance at suicide by shooting it at him as he rows away.  After seeing her do all those crazy stunts and swordfights you'd think she'd have a better aim.  But she does not and misses him, which is very wonderful because what would would we do without Captain Jack Sparrow the one and only?  Meanwhile, Captain Hector Barbossa is busy with his own new ship: The Queen Anne's Revenge.  He makes a pretty good pun that I think makes him deserving of such a ship: "The Revenge is mine."  He's all ready to make sail, but he's still missing one thing: his hat.  And well all know how important a hat is to a pirate, (especially Barbossa because he looks awful without it.  Or as I should say, more awful).  But now hat is still better than that terrible wig.  This resolves itself also though because one of the crew members finds a hat on board the ship.  
The hat used to be Angelica's, but as she is stranded on an island I think she has gigger problems to worry about.  It's fancy with a huge feather, just how he likes it.  With his awesome new hat and the super magical sword of Blackbeard, he can now set sail!  And what better place to go than the lovely port of Tortuga!  Barbossa: "All hands!  Ply to windward! Get cracking, ye blooming cockroaches!" Barbossa laughes almost as much as Pintel and Ragetti do for no good reason.  When he's finally finished cackling about calling his crew "blooming cockroaches", he continues: "The Crwon served me well.  But now, by the gods of the sea and sky. . . make way for Tortuga!"  He rips up some piece of paper that probably declared him a privateer and throws it away as all his crew cheers for Tortuga!  So now that Barbossa has his own ship, maybe he can finally back off trying to take the Black Pearl from its rightful owner, Cutler Beckett.  Just kidding, of course the Pearl should be Jack Sparrows.  

And indeed it is thanks to the great first mate Joshamee Gibbs.  Jack somehow rides his dinghy to where Gibbs is waiting for him on a different island.  Jack greets him with a very warm welcoming.  Jack: "Gibbs, you filthy, besotted shellback, you made it!"  Gibbs, of course, takes no offense: "Aye!"  Jack: "And I trust we managed a profit from our joint enterprise?"  Let me translate Jack-language to English for you: Did we finally get back the Pearl for helping Blackbeard reach the fountain to die?  Gibbs, who speaks fluent Jack, replies: "Feast your eyes."  And there she is: The Black Pearl.  Sitting all nicely on a tree branch.  How is she on the tree branch exactly, well if you don't recall Blackbeard shrunk her down and slipped her into a bottle with dear Jack the monkey inside.  And since Blackbeard is now in Davy Jones' Locker (or is it called Will Turner's Locker?)  it doesn't look like he'll be unshrinking it any time soon. But the Pearl finally being back in his hands (literally) makes Jack smile.  Gibbs: "The compass led me straight and true."  It always does!  Jack: "What of Blackbeard's men guarding the ship?"  Gibbs: "I employed the selfsame maneuver we perfected in New Guinea."  
Jack: "Oh."  I'm guessing they had some fancy plan they use to steal things in the past.  Gibbs: "Seemed a shame to leave an entire fleet behind."  Gibbs pulls out his very nice prize: a large bag filled with tons of more bottled ships.  Now they can have an armada!    Jack: "Shame indeed."  Yay!  I feel a plan forming.  But Jack is still interested in his favorite ship, which we all know what it is.  Except there is still that monkey to deal with.  Jack: "I hate that monkey."  Don't we all?  Gibbs: "So, the Pearl . . . Any idea how to get her out?"  Of course Jack always has some brilliantly devised plan: "We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats.  One of us must learn to play the trumpet whilst the other one goes like this . . ."  Jack does some very nice spirit fingers.  Sadly, not even I can translate this plan out of Jack-language to English. Gibbs: "I know a man with a goat."  Jack: "Good.  I can go like this."  Such beautiful spirit fingers.  As usually Gibbs just goes along with the plan and it will probably work out.  I mean, Jack won't rest until he is once again in charge of the Pearl, aye?  So they start to walk on the beach into the sunset.  
Gibbs: "Jack, I have to ask you had the chalices, the water, the tear . . . You could have lived maybe forever."  Jack: "The Fountain does test you, Gibbs.  (Remember Teagues words?)  But better to not know which moment may be your last.  Every morsel of your entire being alive to the infinite mystery of it all.  And who's to say I won't live forever, eh?  Discoverer of the Fountain of Youth.  I have no say in it, Gibbs.  It's a pirate's life for me, savvy?"  Savvy!  This magnificent life lesson of Jack doesn't need translating.  It's such a fullfilling way to end the movie.  Hopefully it wont' be the end of the series though.  Jack and Gibbs walk off together, as happy as a clam, untill their next big adventure!

"For some reason, I'm inclined to indulge you"

In case you haven't noticed, Jack sparrow loves the sea, and loves being a captain.  He is also one pretty awesome pirate captain and I'd sail under him any day.  But being a captain is something he gained on his own.  The one and only ship he ever has captained is the Black Pearl, but when he is first made captain she was neither a pirate ship, nor owned by him, nor even called the Black Pearl.  She was called the Wicked Wench.  How she later becomes a pirate ship called the Pearl is a story for another day, and don't worry, you'll hear it soon enough.  But let's look back to when Jack first gains his beloved title.  He was 25 years old and working as a merchant sailor for the East India Trading Company (pretty surprising, eh?).  He becomes the first mate on board the Fair Wind, second in command under Captain Nathaniel Bainbridge.  But he's not the most responsible captain, and he drinks and sleeps a lot so basically Jack runs the ship.  But he doesn't have the title as captain yet.  That is, until the Fair Wind runs into a pirate ship, the Venganza, captained by Jack's good lady friend from the past, Lady Esmeralda Maria Consuela Anna de Sevilla, aka Dona Pirata.  The two captains sword fight a bit (no surprise there) and Bainbridge dies.  The Fair Wind sets sail again with most of their cargo and under a new command: Jack's command.  Jack sails the ship out of the Spanish Main to London and then onto the Fair Wind's port of registry in Calabar.  Upon their arrival Jack Sparrow and Robby Greene, the second mate and good friend of Jack's, report to the new director of West African Imports and Exports for the East India Trading Company, who so happens to be Cutler Beckett.  

As the first and second mate walk into the room, Beckett, being the upper class neat freak, can't help but notice the "whiff of salt air, tar, and none-too-clean human".  And once he gets past the smell, he takes a moment to examine how they look.  Beckett takes note of Jack's "regular features . . . a good chin.  Dark, eyes, steady and clear.  One might almost call him  . . . good-looking.  Except for the dirt, of course."  Always remember that dirt.  "Nothing slow about this one.  Confident . . . even a bit cocky? Still, there's that smile."  So in some ways Beckett seems to like Jack.  Doing his job, Beckett asks about the voyage: the death of the captain, the pirates, and the stolen cargo.  Jack and Robby explain the Jack parleyed with the captain and convinced her not to take all the cargo.  They turner in the logbook for Beckett to examine.  As they leave, Beckett's final decision is that he's "definitely cocky" and "might need taking down a peg or two. . ."  But nevertheless Beckett is impressed by Jack's charming features (who isn't?) and how he was able to save most of the E.I.T.C. rum.  Later that evening, Beckett goes through the logbook but at the end of the written section, he finds that a page had been torn out but there are indentations of words on the next page.  So Beckett decides to explore it by taking a pencil and lightly coloring over the indentations to reveal the hidden words.  And what does he find?  Super deep dark secrets?  Not really because it's no secret that Jack wants desperately to be a captain.  Jack had written "Captain Jack Sparrow" again and again in many different styles.

Beckett finds this as humorous as I do: "Jack, Jack, Jack . . . I've caught you, Jack.  I know what you want."  So the next day Beckett calls Jack into his office again and the fun begins!  Beckett: "I've come to the conclusion that the EITC owes you rather a debt, Mr. Sparrow.You handled an uncomfortable, inherently dangerous situation with logic, and personal . . . charm . . . it seems.  And thus saved the company a considerable sum of money."  But wait, it gets better!  "Generally, when EITC employees save the company money, I award them a nice bonus.  Say ten pounds."  Jack likes the sound of this but likes what comes after it even better.  "However, I suspect there are things you would much prefer to have rather than a monetary bonus, if I judge you character correctly.  So . . . how would a promotion to captain suit you, as well as a vessel to command?"  And there it is!  Beckett asks Jack to captain the Marlin which Jack of course accepts.  But there's a catch.   Beckett: "Her cargo area needs to be refitted to handle her projected cargo.  The shipwrights tell me she'll be able to haul nearly three hundred.  With cargo that size, you're sure to have at least two hundred arrive in Barbados alive and ready for sale."  The slave trade.  That's what Beckett wants to pull Jack into.  

Jack: "No."  This doesn't sit well with Beckett: "No?  Jack: "I'm sorry, Mr. Beckett.  I'm not your man.  I'll haul any cargo you assign me, even powder, dangerous as that may be.  But I won't transport slaves."  That's pretty bold.  Beckett, who can't take a no, yet alone from his "subordinates" but Jack sticks to his opinion and makes Beckett deal with it.  Jack: "Thank you, Mr. Beckett, for the offer.  I'll just stay aboard Fair Wind, sir, as first mate, if that's agreeable to you."  Beckett is actually sad to see Jack get up and walk out of the room.  "This man is actually going to turn me down.  I can't let him go.  He has too much potential.  " So Beckett makes a life changing decision right there and then: "Just a moment.  Come back, Sparrow. Perhaps we can make a different . . . arrangement."  I guess it pays off to stick to what you believe is right.  Beckett: "I mean that for some reason, I'm inclined to indulge you, Sparrow.  I have another ship.  It's one I actually own.  It's an older ship.  The shipwrights have told me that converting her hold to haul slave would be expensive, and rather time-consuming, so I bought her for hauling other cargo's.  She's called the Wicked Wench.  Would you like to sail her for me, Captain Sparrow?"  And then the two business partners share a drink and toast the the Wicked Wench and the adventures to come!

"I Can Honestly Say I'm Glad To see You"

Jack is feeling a little worried now that there's a giant squid chasing after him. He's so worried in fact that he leaves his first and only love. He goes to an small island that appears to be uninhabited. But little does He and his crew know this island is filled with tons of pelegostos. They lock the crew in bone cages and bring Jack, who they think is a god, to a huge thrown and paint eyes all over his face while children come and give him authentic toe neckleces. 
While sitting on his throne the natives bring in person tied to a pole upside down. Do you know who it is? Correct! it is Will Turner. Will: "Jack? Jack Sparrow! I can honestly say I'm Glad to see you." Well who wouldn't be? Jack gets up and walks to wil and pokes him. Alittled confused will says, "Jack, it,s me. Will Turner." Not buying it Jack speaks to one of the gaurds in the native tongue. Now Will is getting a little worried Jack got memory-loss or something. Will: "Tell them to let me down!" Again Jack talks to the gaurd but will has one last card up his sleave.

Will: "Jack, the compass that's all I need. Elizabeth is in danger. We were arrested for saving you! She faces the gallows." YAY!  Let's celebrate! Now I'm no expert in pelegostoese but I think Jack tells them to bring will to the cages though im not sure how they do it considering there's no door. . .But before Will leaves Jack has a last word....or two: "Save me."

 Now you may not no why he needs saving. The reason is He doesn't enjoy getting eaten to release his godliness. But unfortunetly the islanders do. 
They Jack tie to a pole and hang him over a pile af wood. But right when the gaurd is about to light the wood on fire a boy runs up and tells everyone that the prisoner(Will and the crew) are escaping. The gaurd drops the torch aruns to stop the prisoners like everyone else. So now Captain Jack Sparrow is trapped above a burning fire. What will he do? Well be Jack Sparrow of course! He jumps out abegins to run with the pole still tied to his back. While running he spots a child holding a fork and knife for the feast. 

Jack grabs the knife and starts sawing at the ropes but doesn't get far because to adult cannibals start throwing fruit at him.  All the fruit gets stabbed by the pole and stays there. Finally bored of this game Jack runs and flips over the giant canyon and almost makes it. But the dumb fruit weighs him down and he falls. On the bright side he didn't get hit by the fruit any more. After lying on the ground for a while Jack gets up and runs to his ship and says his famous line but of course is interrupted by a rude wave. Jack: "Alas my children this is the day you shall always remember as the day you almost(wave). . . Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Well That’s Just Maddeningly Unhelpful."

After being eaten by the Kraken (stupid Elizabeth's fault) Jack was essentially marooned in a never ending desert on board his ship The Black Pearl.  Jack was happy to be captain again, until his crew (a bunch of hallucinations)  unable to produce wind to move the ship go, got on his nerves, as usual.      He grabbed a rope and started pulling his ship across the endless field of sand."Gentlemen...I wash my hands of this weirdness." Tia Dalma, who was on board the ship that was sailing to find Jack; used her magical powers to help her beloved Jack.  A large amount of crabs appeared and crawled out of the ship and started helping Jack to move The Pearl.  While Jack is hard at work pulling the ship his rescue crew was trying to figure out how to get to Davy Jone's locker, they end up ship wrecked on the beach right in front of Jack. However, Jack wasn't very pleased with them at the moment. Well who would be? Elizabeth killed him, Barbossa as marooned him on an island twice, Will is just odd, and Barbossa's crew were a part of the mutiny that resulted in the first marooning. But alas; Jack can't sail without a crew and He and Tia Dalma are still friends, so eventually they came to an agreement. Now all they had to do was get out of the Locker.
  Not an easy task mind you.  Jack clearly being the smartest one comes up with answer "Up is down. Well that’s just maddeningly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear? "  After examining the map with all the unknown answers, He figured it out. Jack started running from one side of the side to the other, and eventually  the crew realized what was happening and were quite helpful. Others were upside down, tied to the mast.  (Pintel and Ragetti. aka the silly pirates)  After several laps across the deck the ship was flipped and everyone returned to the land of the living, YAY!
However the happy moment ended quite fast. Everyone  important whipped out their guns and they had a nice discussion about what  to do next.  Hector insisted that Jack had to come to the gathering of Pirate Lords,  Jack pretty much refuses.  Jack "shoots"  Barbossa only to realize that during their escape from the Locker all their guns became useless due to wet powder.   So now that they can't fight they all start to be useful once again, Will locates a fresh water spring, (to bad it couldn't be a rum spring)  and they set sail in the general direction of Shipwreck City, and the gathering of The Brethren Court.  However, they don't get very far.   Sao Feng and his crew on board the ship  Empress were lying in wait, just around a bend in the island. 

Their crew mates who were already on board the ship (they joined earlier, but clearly under false pretenses)  sprung into action and pretty much had the crew wrapped up by the time Sao Feng and his crew boarded the ship.  Now why is Sao Feng doing this you might ask? Because he made a deal with the winning side, aka Cutler Beckett.  But Sao Feng isn't really in it to win it, its just a front. All he wants is the goddess Calypso (in human form of course)  and he thinks he's found her, Elizabeth Swann on a silver platter anyone?  Well let me tell you, Sao Feng is CREEEPY! He captured Lizzie and left Cutler the rest of the crew. (This is all Hector's fault by the way, he was playing mind games with Feng, but apparently his mind pointed at the wrong chick.)

Feng brought Elizabeth on board his ship and preceded to dress her up, ( remind you of anyone?)  and try to convince her that she is a goddess.  What a creep. Apparently Cutler wasn't very pleased with Feng, seeing as he sent a ship after him that opened fire on the Empress. During this onslaught Feng was struck in the chest with a giant chunk of debris.  With his last breath he named Elizabeth the Captain of his ship, and gave her his Piece of Eight.  And the Empress set sail for Shipwreck city, under the Guidance of their new captain  Elizabeth Swann; newest Pirate Lord of the Brethren Court.