"Hoist the colors!"

When one lady appears to be abandoning the pirates in The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, another steps up to the plate.  Newly elected by popular vote, "King" of the Brethren Court, Captain Elizabeth Swann continues to persist that they Brethren Court stand up to the East India Trading Company and win the War on Piracy even though Calypso seems to be of no help to them.  But Captain Jack Sparrow, her only supporter, is no longer on the Black Pearl to stick up for her, since Elizabeth traded him for Will Turner.  Smart.  But Will, being the loyal fiance he is, also stays by her side.  And together they convince the rest of the Brethren Court and the pirates.   Elizabeth: "It's not over."  Will: "There's still a fight to be had."  Aka, a fight to loose.  Gibbs: "We've an armada against us, and with the Dutchman, there's no chance."  Elizabeth: "There's only a fool's chance."  But most people don't want to be considered a fool, and then killed in battle, so it's gonna take some more convincing.  Barbossa: "Revenge won't bring your father back, Miss Swann, and it's not somehting I'm intending to die for."  Barbossa has already died and came back from the dead, so maybe a more correct term would be, "it's not something I'm intending to die for, again."  
Elizabeth: "You're right.  Then what shall we die for?"  Pretty deep and personal question there.  And recently, Barbossa died trying to lift the curse of the Aztec gold.  And then Elizabeth gets in one of those super bossy modes, which usually she reserves for only Jack adn Barbossa, but now she's exposing her true colors to the whole crew of the Black Pearl.  Elizabeth: "You will listen to me.  LISTEN!"  Assert yourself, girl!  She then starts storming around the deck.  She climbs up on the rail, so that not only the Pearl can hear, but all the other pirates who attended the meeting.  Wow.  Elizabeth continues: "The Brethren will still be looking her to us, (and hearing you with that voice you're using) to the Black Pearl, to lead.  And what will they see?  Frightened bilge rats aboard a derelict ship? (Harsh much?)  NO.  No, they will see free men and freedom!"  How are they free men?  They're listening to you're screamed orders.  Just saying.  Okay, no more interruptions.  

Elizabeth: "And what the enemy will see is the flash of our cannons.  They will hear the ring of our swords, AND THEY WILL KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!  By the sweat of our brows, and the strength of our backs . . . and the courage of our hearts.  Gentlemen . . . hoist the colors."  Isn't it nice of her to go from calling them "bilge rats" to having "courage" and then "gentlemen"?  It seems to warm every one up, because like I said before, good speakers always end up being leaders.  The whole crew begins to realize how they need to get their act together and fight, begining with Will.  

Will: "Hoist the colors."  And of course, the silly pirates are easily fooled by Elizabeth, so they join in.  Ragetti: "Hoist the colors."  Pintel: "Hoist the colors!"  Gibbs: "Aye.  The wind's on our side, boys.  That's all we need!" Gibbs has turned the frown upside down.  The whole frew shout in support and raise their swords.  It's actually really cool how they all shout in unison, pretty intense, seriously.  And Elizabeth, being the king, starts to command the other nearby pirate ships: "Hoist the colors!"  
The people on her "ship", Sao Feng's men, all start cheering in Chinese.  And soon everyone is hoisting their flags and cheering.  Okay, no sarcasm, this scene is epic.  Like, all the best pirates in the world are all cheering, the E.I.T.C. doesn't stand a chance.  And all the while, Elizabeth is for some reason still on the Pearl watching all her new subjects, and she is then joined by Barbossa and Will.  
And I guess the three of them are temporary captains of the Pearl.  And finally, Jack's flag is raised on the leader of the attack's ship.  Jack really does have the coolest flag.  So all this noice and commotion can be heard on the other side of the battle zone, where Lord Cutler Beckett is having some tea and sugar.  Not quite as epic . . . but still tasty!  An E.I.T.C. sailor, named Theodore Groves, comes over with an important message: "We have a favorable wind, sir."  Beckett: "Oh, so we do."  I thought it was favorable to the pirates . . . I guess everyone is rather optimistic today.   
Beckett: "Signal Jones to give no quarter.  That should brighten his day."  Davy Jones has feelings?  As if Jones even takes prisoners, ever.  Ian Mercer whose watching over the Flying Dutchman sees the message and announces: "To arms!  We give no quarter!"  Now the Dutchman crew is all excited, but their captain is troubled.  Because he can tell by the sky that something is different.  Davy Jones: "Calyspo."  And then he starts roaring as it starts to rain.  Interesting.  The Dutchman is the first to depart from the EITC ships, and of course the Black Pearl leads the pirates into battle.  This movie just keeps getting more and more epic. :D Let the games begin!  

"Come to Join me crew, lad?"

All you faithful Captain Jack Sparrow lovers should know that there's a poll posted on our blog where you can vote for your favorite PotC actor.  And keeping with our recent theme of attaching a post to go along with the poll, this post is in honor of all the actors and crew who helped create the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.  Hundreds of people contribute to the making of the movies, but since our poll asks for your favorite actor, I thought I should share mine with you.  Although I still appreciate all the other members, such as the directors Gore Verbinski and Rob Marshall, not to mention all the other actors not mentioned in the poll such as Geoffrey Rush and Ian McShane.  But enough keeping you in suspense, let the fun begin!
5) Penelope Cruz
Penelope Cruz plays Angelica in The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  Actually, she was one of the actresses portraying Angelica in the movie because Penelope was actually pregnant during the filming of the movie.  So the hired another woman to be Penelope's stunt double and perform in some of the fighting scenes Penelope was unable to participate in.  They actually hired Penelope's sister, Monica Cruz!  But Penelope's addition to the PotC cast was a great idea.  Her acting was great as she was able to portray both innocent Angelica and devious Angelica.  I have my fingers crossed that she'll reappear in the fifth movie!
4) Keira Knightley
Keira Knightley plays my absolute favorite character (to make fun of) in the films.  That's right, she plays Elizabeth Swann.  Sadly, she wasn't in the most recent of the films, but did a great job portraying this snobby pirate woman in the first three films.  If you haven't noticed, she curves her lips when she talks starting in Dead Man's Chest which makes her seem really arrogant, showing her true colors!  It's like once she starts wearing the guy clothes she has a whole other attitude!  So now you're thinking, if you hate her so much why do you put her on all your favorite lists?  But I don't hate Keira Knightley!  I just hate Elizabeth's attitude because it's annoying.  But Keira Knightley does a great job portraying this annoying attitude and that can't go unnoticed.
3) Jack Davenport
Jack Davenport plays Commodore Norrington in the first three films, until his character dies half way through The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.  So that was rather tragic, because he was pretty cool.  Originally, the writers invisioned Jack Davenport would only be in the first film, but because so many fans like me, they decided to keep him in the cast, making the right decision.  Like Penelope Cruz, Jack Davenport portrays a character who drifts between being a good guy and a bad guy.  And he plays his conflicted character really well, (not to mention he's not bad looking either :P).
2) Orlando Bloom
You better know who Orland Bloom is and who he plays in the movies.  And if you are one of the few people on earth who doesn't, then hopefully the picture will jog your memory.  Besides being awesome in the first three pirate films, he's in a bunch of other major movies, such as playing Legolas in The Lord of the Rings films.  He'll be returning again as Legolas in the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey this December.  Unfortunately Orlando Bloom most likely won't be returning to the Pirates of the Caribbean as Will Turner again, but if you're a big fan of his awesomeness you better get to the movies in December!
1) Johnny Depp
Because of my love for Johnny Depp, we actually have a whole post about how awesome Depp is.  But for the sake of honoring the great actors of the films, I had to add Johnny Depp to the list, because he really does make the best ever.  If Jack wasn't so loony, would the movies be as funny, exciting, and epic as they are?  I highly doubt so.  And it seems like you all agree with me, because the current poll results (which are subject to change), Johnny Depp leads the polls for best PotC records with 17 out of the 27 votes.  But this isn't the finally count, so please don't forget to vote for your favorite!!!

"Princess . . . Amenrah? No. Ah, I remember, Princess Amenirdis"

So we've talked about Esmeralda from The Price of Freedom but I'm not sure if we've talked so much about the other leading female character from the novel: Amenirdis.  She's actually in the story just as much as Esmeralda is, meaning there's a lot to tell about her.  I'll start with her background before she sets forth on the Wicked Wench with Captain Jack Sparrow.  Amenirdis was the first child of the Pharaoh Taharka and Queen Tiyy, the rulers of the kingdom of Kerma.  Kerma is a hidden island of the west coast of Africa.  It's hidden away from the rest of the world with a magical illusion.  The illusion comes from a powerful jewel, the Heart of Zerzura, that is hidden at the center of the a labyrinth under the temple in the shining city of Zerzura.  According to legend, the lion god, Apedemak who's the guardian of Kerma, gave them the jewel to protect them.  How the people of Kerma come to this hidden island, you might ask?  Well, Amenirdis' ancestors used to live in Kush, a kingdom near Egypt, just south of the third cataract of the Nile.  The capitol of Kush was Kerma.  Does that name sound familiar to you?  There was a big temple for the god, Apedemak.  

Thanks to Mark Dingemanse for creating this map!

But in 1300 B.C., the lion god told the people to take their sacred green jewel, the Heart of Zerzura, and travel and make a new home, on the other side of the continent.  They named the new island Kerma, in honor of the old capital of Kush.  And the new capital is called Zerzura, the shining city.  Jack explains the importance of the Heart of Zerzura to Christophe-Julien de Rapier, sparking Christophe's interest in the hidden island: "The Heart of Zerzura. It's a jewel...but not just a jewel. It's a shor—er, source of tremendous magical power."  Apparently the god led them the island where they lived for over 2,000 years when Amenirdis is born.  So there's all your history of Kerma, but you probably want to know more about Princess Ameniridis, because why would you want to know all these facts if it didn't connect to an important character, and then later to Jack?  Exactly.  Amenirdis has two younger brothers, Shabako, the eldest of the two brothers, and Aniba, the youngest in the family.  But Aniba falls very ill at a very young age, and the whole royal family is thrown into worry.  Apedemak sends the Pharoah, Taharka, a dream in which the lion god tells Taharka to travel to the New World to find the cure for his son.  Being a good father he is, Taharka sets of immediately.  Taharka finds the cure from Tia Dalma!  But unfortunately is killed before he can return home.  Aniba dies three months after his father leaves.  After a year of never hearing from his father, 
Shabako also leaves the island to find his father.  Keep in mind that Shabako is only 14 when he runs away.  Pretty rowdy teenager! But like his father, he brings worry to his family when he doesn't return.  Shabako is instead captured by slave hunters and sold into slavery.  He survives the dreadful voyage across the Atlantic Ocean and is forced to work on a cotton farm in New Avalon.  Only the women of the family are left to rule, Amenirdis and Queen Tiyy.  So then Amenirdis leaves also!  But she doesn't go aimlessly searching the globe for her lost family members.  Instead, she leads an expedition back to the ancient kingdom of Kush, where she intends to visit her extremely distant family in the city of Kerma and offer a sacrifice to Apedemak.  "The princess became convinced that if she went to Apedemak's most anceint temple and prayed there, the god would grant her knowledge of her brother and father's fate."  She wants to unite the people of both kingdoms of Kerma and pray to the god in his original temple.  It's good to have a plan!  But that plan get's kinda ruined when they find that there's nothing left in Kush but ruin, and then they all get shot or captured by slave hunters, and Amenirdis is forced to become an ugly old hag.  Sounds confusing?  It isn't really, and it shall all be explained soon!

"Friends of yours?"

Shortly after reuniting with his old frienenemy Angelica, Scrum one of the Captain's Daughter's customers came to Angleica and warned her about a group of Royal Guards tried to gain access to the storage room of the Captain's Daughter   Scrum:"Milady! I see unseamenlike fellows of officious-looking nature!" Angelica: "...Friends of yours?"  Jack: "I may have unintentionally slighted some King or another." Angelica:  "...You haven't changed." Jack: "Implying the need?" Angelica:"Yes. You betrayed me! You seduced me and you used me. I was innocent of the ways of men." Jack:"You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I supposedly corrupted." Hmm, quite the interesting past ehh? Jack and Angelica sprang into action as the Guards stormed in; chased all around the room fighting all the while. They slashed the barrels full of ale and wine stored in the room to distract the Guard, Jack paused momentarily to sample the wine. 

Angelica pushed him away from the drink before he had the chance to get his head blown off by one of the guards. The fight continued, until Angelica pushed the lever of a trapdoor that dropped the pair into the River Thames.  They swam to shore and began to talk about the sacred ritual that was to be performed when they reached the fountain of youth. Out of no where one of Angelica's crewman popped up and stabbed Jack with some sort of sleeping drug in a dart.  Meanwhile, Gibbs - who was also captured by the British Guards when he and Jack were last together-  was taken to the execution courtyard of the Tower of London and harassed by Barbossa for a time before he produced what they wanted: the map.

After getting their attention, he tossed the map into a nearby fire.  Lucky for him he had thought ahead. While imprisoned he apparently memorized the route to The Fountain of Youth. Well they couldn't very well kill him, because they needed the map stored in his head. Barbossa left with no other choice brought Gibb's along on the voyage, "Welcome back to His Majesty Navy, Master Gibbs!"  Aww how sweet!   

 Waking up on board The Queen Anne's Revenge was quite a surprise to Jack but being greeted by Scrum was even worse, well in my opinion it was. Scrum clued him in on his present situation while they were attempting to complete their morning chores. (aka scrubbing the deck.) , " 'Scuse me, Captain Sparrow, sir. I be right honored to welcome you aboard our world-renowned vessel of infamy—Queen Anne's Revenge."  Jack and Gibb's are in the same boat, figuratively speaking that is. They were both brought on their perspective voyages simply for their knowledge of The Fountain of Youth  and it's location.  Jack was put to work scrubbing the deck while he wasn't needed for navigation Gibb's however was just along for the ride on his ship which was being captain by the newest Navy captain Hector Barbossa. Jack took the time with the crew and put it to good use, from a Pirate's perspective that is. While scrubbing the deck halfheartedly he was told of the zombie crewman and the missionary who was captured to bring luck and blessing from God to the Captain, who just happened to be Blackbeard.  Later on that day, He learned that his captor Angelica was the first mate. He went off to search her out, and confronted her about the situation, 

Jack: "You...are a ruthless, soulless, cross grained cur." Angelica:"I told you I had a ship." Jack:"No, Blackbeard has a ship. Upon which I am now imprisoned."    To calm Jack down, Angelica told Jack of her connections or should I say relations on board,  her long lost Father just happened to be Blackbeard . Hmm no wonder her mother sent her to a convent.  After the conversation was over Jack returned to his crew-mates. He and his comrades hatched a plan. A plan to take over the ship through the treacherous act of mutiny...
 

"It shall be the duties of the king"

We discussed recently how because of Sao Feng's foolish mistake, Elizabeth becomes Pirate Lord of the South China Sea.  She arrives at Shipwreck cove right in time for all the bickering.  At this moment, she proves herself to be the opposite of a hippie: she wants war, as does Jack Sparrow.  But only the King of the Brethren Court may declare war, so they bring out the Keeper of the Code and the Pirate Codex.  And after some searching around, Captain Teague declares: "Ah.  Barbossa is right."  Jack: "Hang on a minute."  Jack then reads straight from the book: "'It shall be the duties, as the king, to declare war, parley with shared adversaries . . .' Fancy that."  Gotta love old parley.  Chevalle, the Pirate Lord of the Mediterranean Sea, says: "There has not been a king since the First Court.  And that's not likely to change."  That's what you think.  When Jack Sparrow is in the room, you never know how things are going to bo about.  Teague agrees: "Not likely."  Elizabeth, the rookie, asks: "Why not?"  Gibbs: "See, the pirate king is elected by popular vote.  And each pirate only ever votes for hisself."  Figures, doesn't it?  None of these pirate captains want to take orders from anyone but themselves.  

But Jack ignores this fact and changes things up a bit.  Jack: "I call for a vote."  Barbossa leads everyone else in an impatient sigh.  But at least there's not actually fighting.  They all go around the table and announce their vote.  As expected, everyone votes for themself.  Including Barbossa and Elizabeth.  You'd think that Elizabeth would team up with Jack, since he's the only way she can get what she wants done.  Jack is the final person to vote, and everyone expects him to say "Jack Sparrow".  But he shocks the world yet again: "Elizabeth Swann."  Um, that didn't go as planned.  Even Elizabeth is shocked: "What?"  Jack: "I know.  Curious, isn't it?"  So this brings about a lot of shouting and outrage, for good reason.  I mean, who would want Elizabeth to be thier king?  Jack: "Am I to understand that you lot will not be keeping to the code, then?"  Not keeping to the code?!!!  I don't think so.  The keeper of the code, who just so happens to be hanging out in the back, breaks a string of his guitar in outrage.  This shuts everyone up pretty darn quickly.  Mistress Ching, the Pirate Lord of the Pacific Ocean, gives in: "Very well.  What say you, Captain Swann, king of the Brethren Court?"  

Doesn't exactly have a ring to it.  As she is saying this, Barbossa just rolls his eyes in a very bothered way.  You see, Jack and Elizabeth both agreed on what the Brethren Court should do, but nobody else did.  And since the king would decide, Jack voted for Elizabeth so that she would have the power to do just what he want her to do: declare war.  Of course, it could have gone the other way around, where Elizabeth votes for Jack, but she voted for herself first, not thinking as much as Jack did.  Elizabeth: "Prepare every vessel that floats.  At dawn, we're at war."  Her Brittish accent seems to become more and more present as the movie progresses.  Jack nods in approval.  Sumbhajee, the Pirate Lord of the Indian Ocean, who hasn't spoke the whole meating, stands up and announces, in a VERY high-pitched voice: "And so we shall go to war."  Pretty epic.  So then dawn comes and all the pirates are in their ships prepared for battle.  Except, as usual, it doesn't go as planned.  That's what you get when a girl like Elizabeth makes all the decisions.  The pirates realize that they're out numbered by East India Trady Company vessels.  

It's a good thing Jack looked at that Pirate Code, because now he knows that the Pirate King can parley with the enemy.  So Elizabeth, Barbossa, and Jack meet up for some pretty intense parley with Davy Jones, Cutler Beckett, and Will.  Elizabeth informs Beckett that the pirates will fight anyways.  But things are getting pretty desperate, so they release Calypso, the goddess of the sea from her human bonds, praying that she'll be merciful to the pirates and vengeful on Davy Jones and help them in victory.  But instead it seems that she just turned into hundreds of crabs and left them. A bit awkward.  So now what shall be done?  Elizabeth, as usual, seems to have all the answers.  Lizzie: "It's not over."  Will: "There's still a fight to be had."  But the rest of the crew doesn't seem as optimistic.  Gibbs: "We've an armada against us, and with the Dutchman, there's no chance."  Elizabeth: "There's only a fool's chance."  Good thing you're a fool.  Barbossa: "Revenge won't bring your father back, Miss Swann, and it's not somehting I'm intending to die for."  I'm not trying to burst your bubble dude, but most likely Beckett's going to put you to death anyways.  And what are you going to do with all these pirate ships out in the open?  You've kinda reached the point of no return.  Cue the hard core music!

"That is his own tub!"

In the book, The Price of Freedom by A.C. Crispin, Cutler Beckett isn't Lord Cutler Beckett yet.  He's the director of West African affairs. But he has his mind set on a promotion as "Lord" or "Sir", a promotion that we know is not too far off.  To get this position, Beckett feels that he needs to kiss up to the E.I.T.C. director of African Affairs, his boss, Viscount, Lord Reginald Marmaduke Bracegirdle-Penwallow.  Quite the name, right?  Beckett also feels that he needs to please Lord Penwallow because of the favor he did for him.  Beckett was once captured by Captain Christophe-Julien de Rapier, the infamous rogue pirate.  Beckett gets beat up by the pirates and held for ransom.  Beckett's family hates him (no surprise) so they don't pay the ransom.  Lord Penwallow does instead.  The first time Beckett dines with Penwallow, he's a complete stalker.  He learns all about Penwallow's family and personal life thinking it may help him reach his goal.  The Viscount returns to Calabar a few months later, when he and Beckett have lunch again.  This time, however, Captain Jack Sparrow is docked and Beckett asks him to join them.  But Jack has just finished a three month voyage around the triangle and isn't what Beckett considers presentable.  

So Jack is taken by Beckett's operator, Ian Mercer, to his office to clean up.  In the home office, Jack meets Mistress Goodwright, Beckett's maid, who is instructed to see that Jack is clean up.  Jack is surprise to find that they have prepared brand new clothes for him to wear for lunch and keep.  But what's even more surprising is the iron tub filled with water!  Jack: "What's this for?"  Mistress Goodwright: "La, lad!  'Tis for you!  Very particular, Mr. Beckett is, 'bout his hygiene.  That is his own tub!  He ordered us to haul it down here and fill it for you, Captain."  We all know what a tub is for(at least I hope so), but I don't think Jack has caught on yet.  Jack: "What does Mr. Beckett want me to do with it?"  This makes the maid giggle.  Mistress Goodwright: "I know, I know . . . outlandish idea, isn't it?  But 'tis becoming the fashion among some of the gentry, they say.  At least once a moth, they takes off all their clothes, and they SITS in those 'bathtubs' and they washes themselves.  All over.  Mr. Beckett says the Romans did it all the time."  Jack: "No wonder their empire fell.  Madam, I am clean.  Well, mostly.  (Jack's hands aren't the cleanest)  I'll have you know I went for a nice long swim on a lovely beach, not much more than three months ago."  Does this disgust anyone else?  I mean, I love Jack but his hygiene not so much.  But there is one thing that scares him more than the tub, and Mistress Goodwright knows just that.  

Mistress Goodwright: "Mr. Becket told me that if you said no, I was to tell him and he'd instruct Mr. Mercer to see that you did it."  Jack almost walks out on the whole thing, because he was terrified of Mercer and a footman ripping off all his clothes and forcing him into the water.  As if Jack couldn't take them all down!  But the maid gets the best of him.  Jack: "Oh, very well.  But I'm sure it's unhealthy.  I'll probably catch me death."  So Jack starts taking off his coat and shoes but she's still there standing awkwardly.  Mistress Goodwright: "Um . . . Captain Sparrow, would you like me to scrub your back?"  Jack just rolls his eyes: "Madam, I thought time was of the essence."  As she she leaves Jack calls, "And close that door, if you please . . . All the way, Mistress Goodwright."  So Jack finally bathes, for the first time.  Rather disturbing, really.  And afterwards he tries on his new fancy clothing.  Mercer and the maid want to burn his old clothes, but Jack objects, seeing as he didn't have too many.  And finally, he is ready to meet the Viscount, Lord Reginald Marmaduke Bracegirdle-Penwallow.  I love Jack as he is and all, but a bath here and there is probably smart.

"Stop Blowing Holes in my ship!"

Individual sword fights in The Pirates of the Caribbean movies are always very intense and fun to watch.  But when every member of the crew is locked in an epic sword fight, then it becomes an epic battle.  Each movie is filled with this exciting battles.  Which of the many are your favorite?  These are a few of mine!

5) HMS Interceptor vs. Black Pearl in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

After Will and Jack sneak onto the Isla de Muerta and interupt the Aztec ritual needed to lift the curse off Barbossa and his crew, Will helps Elizabeth run off with the medallion in the Interceptor, and Jack is left behind.  As you can imagine, Barbossa isn't too happy that the medallion he's been searching years for is gone, so the Black Pearl chases down the Interceptor.  Since the Black Pearl is the fastest ship in the Caribbean, it of course catches them and the battle begins.  The Interceptor is out of ammunition so they load the cannons with boots and apples and forks, which does a bit of damage to the Pearl, to Jack's despair. But the cursed crew wins.  They capture all the prisoners and the medallion and watch the Interceptor sink.

4) Kraken vs. Black Pearl in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Elizabeth, Will, Jack and his crew somehow make it off the Isla de Cruces alive, along with their jar of dirt, which Jack plans to use in a negotiation with Davy Jones.  But when he realizes that there really is nothing but dirt in the jar, the crew turns to plan B: RUN!  The Pearl outruns the Flying Dutchman and escapes their shooting range.  But Jones isn't done yet.  He sets his very friendly pet, the kraken loose on them.  Will instructs the crew to load up all the rum.  Jack shoots the floating barrels of rum, which explode, injuring the kraken. This buys them more time to escape.  Pretty impressive to hold off on a sea monster that long, but it's only a matter of time.  The crew gets into the one remaining longboat and sail away, watching the kraken devour the Black Pearl and it's captain.

3) Jack Sparrow vs. palace guards in The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Sadly, Pintel and Ragetti were not part of this battle, but it was still intense none the less.  Jack lands himself a meeting with the king of England, King George II.  King George wants Jack to lead Barbossa to the Fountain of Youth.  Jack has other plans.  Even though he's surounded by a whole palace full of guards, he manages to beak loose of the soldiers holding him down, swing on the chandelier, eat his cream puff, and get out.  The king sends Barbossa and his men out to get Jack. But Jack is to clever for them.  He hides in the tapestry, steals a very pudgy woman's earing, rides on top of her carriage, commandeers a cart of coal, and lands himself in front of a tavern, of course.  Just when the thinks he's safe, another soldier appears, but Jack's father takes care of that for him.

2) HMS Dauntless vs. Black Pearl in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Barbossa and his cursed crew of the Black Pearl return to the Isla de Muerta to attempt to lift the curse.  But once again, Jack returns in the midst of it.  Meanwhile, Norrington and the Royal Navy are outside, ready to attack the Pearl.  Barbossa and his men launch a very sneaky plan to take down the Dauntless that involves dresses and umbrellas.  Pintel and Ragetti distract the Navy by rowing along the sea in a their pretty dresses.  The rest of the crew sneak on board to kill the crew of the Dauntless.  But Pintel and Ragetti get into a fight, revealing who they really are before the Navy had been finished off.  The Navy fights back and holds off just long enough for Will and Jack to lift the curse inside the cave.  The still outnumbered no-longer cursed crew of the Black Pearl is captured and their captain is shot.  Quite the finale!

1) E.I.T.C. vs. Brethren Court in The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

This amazing conclusion to the third pirates movie could hardly be better.  It starts out with "Captain Swann" inspiring the crew to fight until the end and ends with the destruction of Lord Cutler Beckett's ship, the HMS Endeavour.  First, the Black Pearl is sent out to battle the Flying Dutchman.  This battle seems like the perfect time for a wedding, right?  In the midst of fighting tons of sea creatures, Barbossa agrees to marry Will and Elizabeth, adding another element of romance to the battle.  But their fairy tale comes to a close when Davy Jones stabs Will.  Will has just enough time before he dies to stab the heart of Davy Jones, making himself captain of the Dutchman.  After carving out his heart and locking it in a chest, Will returns with his new crew of the Dutchman and helps the Black Pearl demolish the Endeavour.  With their two mains ships down, the armada of the East India Trading company surrenders to the Brethren Court and the Pirates live to tell another tale!

"You get to choose, Mr. Sparrow."

After tramping through the forest somewhat aimlessly Jack and his followers come to an abrupt halt. In front of a cliff with a rickety bridge. Blackbeard doesn't trust Jack's compass anymore (frankly neither would i) He volunteers Jack to jump over the cliff to see if anyone can survive the drop.  Blackbeard challenges Jack of a game of chance, played with one of a pirates favorite things: guns.  If Jack guesses right Angelica doesn't get shot, if he guesses wrong she dies.  Jack makes a joke of it and grabs a loaded one. He doesn't think Blackbeard would ever put his daughter's life in danger, well he was wrong.  After that tension filled game, Blackbeard (whose sleeve is clearly fulls of tricks) pulls out a voodoo doll. modeled after our dear Jack.  The quartermaster grabs it and dangled it over the cliff. Jack, worried for his life starts chatting with the darling sailor Jack: "Oi. If I jump, will I survive?" Quartermaster:"...The doll. [Angelica gives him the doll, he starts chanting, and the Quartermaster throws it and Jack screams as it falls]...Yes, now you will survive."   
How reassuring.  Eventually Jack jumps, and lands with a splash in the stream below. 
 Jack is not happy! "Wet, wet again."  He sets off to continue the search for the chalices, while the rest of Blackbeard's crew trudges on through the jungle.  While on their wonderful hike Phillip swift being the sweet caring man that he is saves the life of the  mermaid he named Syrena and carries her to the crews next stop (what a sweetie!) Meanwhile, our favorite not so sweet pirate is hashing it out with he old friend Barbossa on board Ponce de Leon's ship in search of the items needed for the ritual to be performed later.  
They found the box that was supposed to have the chalices, empty of course. And hatch a plan to get them back from the sneaky Spaniards. One that involves trees and rope and maybe some coconuts.  Blackbeard and his crew arrived at a set of pools other crews have used to hole mermaid's while on the quest towards the Fountain of Youth.  Blackbeard threatens her with death if she doesn't give them the tear he needs for the aforementioned rituals. She refuses, dooming herself to a nice long soak in the mermaid pool under the hot sun. Phillip tries to convince her to just cry one single tear to spare her life.  Watching them interact gives Blackbeard an idea. He ordered the quartermaster to grab Phillip and kill him in front of Syrena, she then gave him what he wanted, Phillip was thrown away and left to die. Blackbeard gathered he troops and they hiked on in search of long life to be bought with the life of another.  (pretty barbaric if you ask me.)  Jack and Barbossa however, are in a bit of a pickle. Maybe the coconuts will come into play? I certainly hope so!

 

"What will we do now?"

So we all know that Captain Sao Feng was Pirate Lord of the South China Sea.  He was on his way the the meeting of the Brethren Court when the Empress ran into some trouble.  The ship was attacked by the Flying Dutchman.  Davy Jones makes his presence known by blasting a cannon into the ship, which hits Sao Feng mortally.  Elizabeth, who is on board the ship, lies to his dying face by allowing him to think she was the sea goddess, Calypso.  So has he's dying, he makes Elizabeth captain of the Empress and passes on his piece of eight and position as Pirate Lord.  At first, the crew of the Empress is outraged.  Tai Huang: "What did he tell you?" Elizabeth: "He made me captain."  Tai Huang: "You are not my captain!"  But things change when they were line up on deck.  Davy Jones: "Who among you do you name as captain?"  Tai Huang immediately points at Elizabeth and says, "Captain."  So I guess Elizabeth is captain, and a pretty good thing for the crew of the Empress.  Since Elizabeth was friends with Admiral Norrington, he let them out of the brig of the Flying Dutchman and back to freedom on the Empress.  

From there they sail to Shipwreck Cove for the meeting of the Brethren Court.  But due to the delay, they arrive after all the other pirate lords, making a big scene as they walked in.  Jack: "Might I point out that we are still short one pirate lord and I'm as content as a cucumber to wait until Sao Feng joins us."  Then you could be waiting for the rest of your life.  Right on cue.  Elizabeth: "Sao Feng is dead.  He fell to the Flying Dutchman."  She sticks her sword into the globe with the others.  Every one else in the room is outraged and start screaming all about how evil the Dutchman is.  Jack: "He made you captain?  Just giving the bloody title away now!"  You know it's a sad day when Elizabeth Swann is in charge of a boat.  And what's even sadder is that she now thinks she's in charge of everyone.  Elizabeth: "Listen to me!  Our location has been betrayed."  What makes what you say more important than the words of the other Pirate Lords?  They've been Lord's longer than you have.  But she continues anyways: "Jones is under the command of Lord Beckett.  They're on their way here."  

Jocard, another pirate lord, exclaims: "Who is this betrayer?"  Barbossa attempts to mellow everything out: "Not likely anyone among us."  And we all know it was only a matter of time before Elizabeth asks: "Where's Will?"  Jack: "Not among us."  Hmmmm, how suspicious . . .  Barbossa: "And it matters not how they found us.  The question is what will we do now that they have?"  Elizabeth is becoming way too overly confident.  Elizabeth: "We fight!"  I'm really beginning to see why Tai Huang was so scared to have her as captain.  The whole Brethren Court just laughs in her face.  Even Jack.    So then all of the pirate lords share what they think is the answer.  Do they fight?  Do they just hang out in Shipwreck Cove, a fortress,  for all eternity?  Do they release Calypso and hope that she's nice?  Jack has the perfect answer for this one.  He explains to the Court the significance of cuttlefish and all about how the pirates would kill each other if they tried.  And then he finishes his great speech in a rather shocking way.  Jack: ". . . .We are left with but one option.  I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of my mouth, Captain Swann.  We must fight."  

You know things are desperate when the best plan is Elizabeth's plan.  But Barbossa still wants to ruin Elizabeth and Jack's plan.  Barbossa: "You've always run away from a fight."  Jack: "Have not!"  Barbossa: "You have so!"  Jack: "Have not!"  Barbossa: "You have so!"  Jack: "Have not!"  Barbossa: "You have so and you know it!"  Jack: "Have not slandering calopy!"  Everyone in the room glances back and forth between the two.  Gotta love Jack and Barbossa's bickering.  Jack: "I have only and ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate tradition.  I submit that here and now that is what we all must do.  We must fight, to run away!"  Okay, so I've heard it all over that it's the really good speakers who become leaders, even if in reality they're idiots.  This is just proves the point.  I mean, how in the name of John Hancock's second beard do you fight to run away?  We all know Jack comes up with the craziest ideas ever.  But he describes them as so awesomely epic that everyone cheers for him.  Except for Hector Barbossa.  Barbossa: "As per the code, an act of war, and this be exactly that, can only be declared by the pirate king."  Jack: "You made that up!"  You'd think that being the son of the Keeper of the Code, Jack would already know these kind of things.  Barbossa: "Did I now?  I call on Captain Teague, Keeper of the Code."  This one sentence puts everyone in a tizzy again.  One guy even suggests the Code is pointless.  But Teague takes care of this one buy shooting the guy in the back.  And the arguing stops, for now. . .