"The belligerent homunculus and his friend with the wooden eye."

I am in the mood for a good laugh today.  So what better a thing to make you crack up than the silly pirates: Pintel and Ragetti?  They switch crews several times throughout the series.  In the book, The Price of Freedom, they sail under Barbossa on the Cobra. 

 But once the Cobra is destroyed by the rogue pirates, they remain loyal to Barbossa (not sure why since he's not exactly sympathetic towards them).  They must have stuck with Barbossa when he became Jack's first mate on the Black Pearl. Somehow they preferred Barbossa's leadership over Jack's.  They and the rest of the crew commit mutiny against Captain Jack and leave him stranded on an island.  They spend the next ten years doing whatever Barbossa or the other crew members tell them to do.  We first see them on the big screen when they are sent on a raid to the governor's palace in Port Royal to search for the medallion. 
Why such a job like finding the precious Aztec gold would be given to such idiots?  I have no idea.  If I were captain I would just give them really simple jobs that nobody ever wants to do.  Like cleaning stuff.  Hopefully even they couldn't screw that up. Anyways, they find what they're looking for" Pintel:The gold calls to us...'Ello poppet."  So they bring Elizabeth and her necklace back to the Pearl.   The whole crew are amazed that they retrieved not only the last piece of gold, but also what they believe to be the perfect tribute: the daughter of Bootstrap Bill.  But of course they had to have messed up somewhere along the way.  As it turns out, Elizabeth's last name isn't actually Turner, yet.  What an embarrassment.  Of course, the silly pirates are the first to be blamed for it.  Barbossa: "Gents, you all remember Captain Jack Sparrow? Kill him." Jack: "The girl's blood didn't work, did it?" Barbossa:"Hold your fire! You know whose blood we need? Jack:"I know whose blood you need."

Once they've found William Turner, Pintel and Ragetti are in charge of bringing him to the altar.  They tell Will that everything will be okay and he won't be slain.  And then they change their mind and remind him that he only was minutes left to live.  Poor Will! But Pintel and Ragetti don't get to stick around for the show, they are sent out with the rest of the cursed crew to attack the Navy ship. The duo was forced to dress up as women to distract the Navy crew while the other crew members were creeping up the side of the ship. this plan quickly goes awry when a beam of moonlight hits Pintel and Ragetti and their true identities are revealed. And let me tell you it was not a pretty sight! 
Pintel and Ragetti did eventually get on board the ship and join the fight, but it didn't last long. After the great duel between Jack and Barbossa the curse was ended and the crew members were forced to surrender their weapons, but hey at least they can taste apples again!

"Admit it, Jack. You still love me."

Since the holidays are upon us, I thought it would be cool to share some tales of love and family.  With mistletoe in the air, I think now is an appropriate time to discuss our latest post, in which we asked you who your favorite PotC couple is?  We are now going to answer our own question for you and hopefully you will respond by voting before the poll is closed!
4. Davy Jones and Tia Dalma/Calypso 

Will Turner: "You loved her. She's the one. And then you betrayed her."Davy Jones:  "She pretended to love me. She betrayed me." Will: "And after which betrayal did you cut out your heart, I wonder."  Davy and Tia Dalma's story is one full of betrayal and heartache. When Davy Jones was normal sailor he fell in love with the sea Goddess Calypso. She gave him the task of ferrying the souls of sailors lost at sea from this world to the next. He had to remain at sea for ten years before he could step foot on land to reunite with his love. When his ten years was up he returned only to find Calypso long gone. His anger was so great that he helped the first Brethren Court to capture Calypso and trap her in a human form. After this their love was pretty much over, and Davy took his ship the Flying Dutchmen that Calypso had given him to preform his duty and used it to build a crew of sailors bound for 100 years of service on his ship.  Calypso obviously was not pleased with Davy's actions and when they eventually reunited nothing polite was said.  In the end Davy was never able to forgive Calypso and died with a broken heart. Tia Dalma was eventually released by the Brethren Court, and helped the Court in their battle against the EITC.
3. Philip Swift and Syrena

Blackbeard: "You care for her...you fancy her. Do not deny what is clear to my eyes. Question is...does she fancy you? By God, she does." Philip, the missionary, and Syrena, the mermaid, also had a very complicated and unique relationship ship.  Their both prisoners for different reasons of Blackbeard.  Blackbeard, being the super evil and powerful pirate, decides to use their budding romance to his advantage.  He needs to get a tear our of Syrena so he pretends to kill Philip.  Philip finds himself passed out in a ditch and makes his way back to the love of his life, who is dying in a pool.  He tells her how much he loves her, and then she starts to cry.  Bingo.  They take her tear and Philip, then leave her there to die.  But P. Swift doesn't let go of relationships easily, so in the middle of combat later in the movie, he runs back, with a wound in his side, all the way to where she is almost dead. He unties her and begs for her forgiveness.  They  make up and start to kiss.  She then drags him into the water where they will all live happily after ever.  I wonder what their kids will be like?  Probably no stranger than Jones' and Calypso's.  
2. Will and Elizabeth

Weatherby: "So, this is the path you've chosen, is it? After all, he is a blacksmith."  Elizabeth: "No. He's a pirate."  Will and Elizabeth's romance has been one of the cutest to track because it spans over the first three movies.  Will's always had a thing for Elizabeth since they met as kids.  Elizabeth seems to have a slight interest in him too.  However, people don't really realize what they have until it's gone.  Once Elizabeth is taken off by pirates, he realizes how desperately he loves her and needs her back.  Once they've been reunited, Will trades his blood for Elizabeth's safety.   This reminds Elizabeth how much she needs Will in her life, so she goes through great measures to save him, even promising herself to Commodore Norrington.  Once they are all safe, Will's feelings deepen when he finds out of Elizabeth's engagement to the officer.  So once their back at Port Royal, Will can't keep his feelings in any longer so he tells Elizabeth how he really feels.  Norrington understands and the two become engaged.  Through the next movie and a half, they have a lot of issues in their relationship, but in the end they make it to the alter, kinda.  It's more like the deck of a ship but it's romantic none the less.
1. Jack Sparrow and Angelica
Angelica: "I was ready to take my vows! And you—what were you doing in a Spanish convent, anyway?!" Jack: "Mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake."  Jack is a player lets face it. He met Angelica while he was drunk. And things got a bit frisky. In the morning Angelica was on a boat bound for who knows where and Jack was still drunk. They reunited when Angelica began her journey to the Fountain of Youth. She needed Jack help to save her "father's" life, but she feared Jack wouldn't come willingly so after escaping the band of soldeirs sent to arrest Jack she drugged him and set sail for the said fountain. Jack of course wasn't very pleased with Angelica but things smoothed out eventually after some heated arguments a plan was made. In the end Jack brought Angelica to the fountain but ended up killing her "father" and that pretty much ended the romance. Jack stranded her on an island and even after some lies about pregnancy he sailed off into the sunset leaving Angelica to fend for herself. Moral of this story: true love hurts, thank goodness for voodoo dolls. 

"Not With The Chest"

Ever wonder what it's like to look down at  your beating heart?  Well, you might as well wonder because unless our medical technology gets extremely more advance, most of us will probably never experience it.   I'm not so sure how I feel about that.  But in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Davy Jones desperately needs to find his heart.  Even though he knows Will Turner as an interest in finding it, he doesn't expect to be in any danager because to get to the heart, you need the key to the chest.  Remember?  Jack so nicely pointed this out to us at the beginning of the movie.  "We don't have the key.  WE can't open whatever it is that we don't have that it unlocks.  SO what purpose would we be serving finding whatever need be unlock, which we don't have.  Without first having found the key what unlocks it?"  But then Will goes missing from the Flying Dutchman with the precious key to the chest, leaving Davy Jones nothing but a cloth drawing of a key (which is actually even better, according to Captain Jack!).  This puts Davy Jones into a panic.  First, he calls the kraken to slaughter a ship, and then makes his crew sail as quickly was possible to the Isla de Muerta where Jones hid the chest.  Now that's when all the confusing stuff happens concerning the location of the chest.  Might I just add, I'm not quite sure why the named the movie "Dead Man's Chest", when Davy Jones owns the chest and he's not dead.  In fact, half the movie is all about Davy Jones avoiding death.  Just a thought.  

Anyways, things seem pretty under countrol when Elizabeth, Jack, and Norrington dig up the chest.  Then they all completely forget about the chest when Will shows up and they all get caught up in a sword fight.  So Pintel and Ragetti see this as an opportunity to be idiots again and run off with the chest.  The party continues when lo' and behold Davy Jones arrives.  He, of course, stays the ship and sends he menacing crew after them.  The men find the empty whole where the chest used to be, and are angry.  Then they hear the church bell ringing where the trio are fighting and run after them.  Pintel, Ragetti, and the chest, are boing chased after an angry Elizabeth, and then they all are being chased after the crew of teh Dutchman.  The three of them fend off the crew with only two swords (pretty impressive if I do say so myself).  But then they leave the chest laying in the grass (not so impressive).  Why does everyone keep leaving Davy Jones' hear lying around?  It's slightly important.  Well, one of Jones' men finds it and picks it up happily.  Only too bad for him because Jack throws a coconut at him, knocking off his head.  

As the crew member's head and body try to frantically be reunited, Jack just tells them both "Oh, shut it."  He uses the key he just desperately fought for to unlock the chest and take out the heart.  Ew.  If you're a doctor and happen to be reading this: 1) tell all your friends about us and 2) tell me if the heart actually looks really (you know, with all the arteries and stuff).  Jack gets about two seconds to examine the heart before more of Jones' men appear.  He stuffs the heart in his shirt pocket and makes a run for it.  Gross, imagine feeling someone else's heart beating on your chest.  He leaves the chest laying there for Pintel and Ragetti to pick it up, not realizing its contents are missing.  In the meantime, Jack runs across the beautiful beach to the row boat he took to shore.  He frantically cries for his jar of dirt, and creatively hids it in there just in time to fend off one of Jones' henchmen and runs.  

James Norrington makes it to the row boat after him.  He digs around and finds the Letters of Marque Jack had.  Then he looks around and finds the jar of dirt, but some of the dirt is messily displaced around the boat, which leads him to beleive Jack hid the heart in the jar.  He's the next Sherlock Homes.  Pintel and Ragetti still think they have the heart, so Will stops them.  He examines the chest, which oddly has the key in it.  Jack, becoming paranoid that Will will unfoil his plans, knocks Will upside the head.  Elizabeth, of course runs over to save him his unconsious body.  Jack: "Leave him lie!  Unless you plan on using him to hit something with."  Creative.  But their surrouned by Jones' men, so even if they did use Will's body as a weapon, it doesn't look like they'd get far.  Elizabeth: "We're not getting out of his."  Norrington: "Not with the chest.  Into the boat."  He grabs the chest, which he knows is empty.  (He has the heart stuck in his shirt too, ew).  Elizabeth: "You're mad!"  James: "Don't wait for me."  

He frantically runs off, distracting the henchmen.  Jack: "I say we respect his final wish."  Jack thinks that he still has the heart in the jar.  Pintel: "AYE!"  They all flee in the row boat.  Norrinton is chased into the forest, where he surrenders the empty chest and secretly runs off with the heart!  Wow, talk about some misunderstandings.  Everyone thinks they have the heart, but only Norrington is correct!

"Think Again"

Hello all of our faithful followers.  I'm sorry for our lack of posts lately, but do not fear, they are coming!  Now, without further ado, here comes our newest post!
I'd like to start this post by introducing Weatherby Swann, Elizabeth's father.  He's the governor of the British colony of Port Royal, Jamaica.  Once appointed to this position, he and his daughter, Elizabeth make their way across the Atlanticon the HMS Dauntless.  That's where the beginning of the whole film series takes place.  Many of the characters are introduced in this scene.  Elizabeth and Weatherby are passengers, Lieutenant James Norrington is in command, and Joshamee Gibbs is a sailor.  What fun!  So yount Elizabeth is standing on the deck looking out into the vast Caribbean sea, singing "I Pirates Life For Me".  Then out of no where, Gibbs grabs her from behind.  Gibbs: "Quiet, missy.  Cursed pirates sail these waters.  You don't want to bring them down on us."  Wow, could Gibbs have been any more correct?  Because as they spoke, Barbossa's cursed crew of the Black Pearl was probably raiding another ship in search for the Aztec gold.   And then a younger, and more handsome, James Norrington appears.  
James: "Mr. Gibbs, that will do."  Gibbs, ironically, is super scared and superstitius of meeting pirates.  Gibbs: "She was singing about pirates!  It's bad luck to sing about pirates with us mired in this unnatural fog.  Mark my words."  James seems deeply concerned (can you sense the irony in my writing?).  James: "Consider them marked.  On your way."  Gibbs: "Aye, Lieutenant.  It's bad luck to have a woman on board.  Even a miniature one."  Lol, mini Lizzie.  Nobody likes her on board even at a young age.  Elizabeth: "I think it'd be rather exciting to meet a pirate."  Ha, careful what you wish for!  James just smiles down at her.  When you think abou tit, their age gap is a bit creepy.  He seems about double her age in this scene, but no really so old in the movie. 
James: "Think again, Miss Swann.  Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them."    I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves.  A short drop and a sudden stop."  Oh, the irony here is killing me.  Gibbs pretends to hang himself to explain to Elizabeth what James is saying.  Poor girl, all she was doing was humming a song and now she's being lectured about hangings.  Weatherby, the overprotective father, agrees with me.  Weatherby: "Lieutenant Norrington, I appreciate your fervor, but I'm concerned about the effect this subject will have upon my daughter."  James: "My apologies, Governor Swann."  Then Elizabeth speaks in a super high-pitched voice: "Actually, I find it all fascinating."  Who doesn't love a good hanging?  It's like all the people in the audience during Gibbs' trial in London in On Stranger Tides.  Weatherby: "Yes.  That's what concerns me."  Ha, just you wait and see, Governor.  Everyone starts to disperse but Elizabeth stays near the railing, when she sees an umbrella float through the fog towards the boat.  And then a young boy comes, knocked out a little raft.  Elizabeth: "Look!  There's a boy in the water!"  This alarms everyone on board.  Norrington: "Man overboard!  Man the ropes!  Fetch a hook!  Haul him aboard!"  Little did James know that this man would steal his girl some day.  

I assume if he knew that, he would think twice before fishing him out of the water . . .  James: "He's still breathing."  Gibbs is still looking out into the fog when he sees something else.  Gibbs: "Mary, Mother of God!"  Everybody looks over to find a ship in complete desolation, its floating debris is on fire.  Weatherby: "What happened here?"  James: "Most likely the powder magazine.  Merchant vessels run heavily armed."  Gibbs: "Lots of good it did them.  Everyone's thinking it, I'm saying it.  Pirates!"  Ohhhh, he just said the P-word.  Weatherby: "There's no proof of that!  It was probably an accident."  James: "Rouse the captain immediately.  Heave to and take in sail.  Launch the boats."  Weatherby: "Elizabeth, I want you to accompany the boy.  He'll be in your charge.  Take care of him."  Oh, she'll take care of him alright.  Other sailors go in rowboats to find more survivors.  
In the meantime, Elizabeth examines the unconcious boy.  She starts to creepliy pet his hair when he jolts awake and grabs her hand.  Elizabeth: "It's okay.  My name's Elizabeth Swann."  Boy: "Will."  Ohhh, things are starting to unfold!  Elizabeth: "I'm watching over you."  And Will just falls asleep.  Then Elizabeth steals his madallion on a chain around his neck.  Pretty important peice of gold right there.  Elizabeth: "You're a pirate!"  James: "Has he said anything?"  Elizabeth: "His name's William Turner.  That's all I found out."  Actually, he said his name was Will.  Don't make assumptions.  James: "Take him below."  After all the comotion has ended, Elizabeth examines the Aztec gold near the railing again.  She looks up just in time to see the Black Pearl sail away into the fog.  So that little five minute scene pretty much sets the stage for the whole rest of the movie.  Although, we are still missing the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow!

"The Captain Seems to be Acting a Bit Strange...er?"

Through out the Pirates of the Caribbean there have been lot's of creepy people/things. In this post I'm gonna list out the top 5 of them that I think are the creepiest.
5) The Kraken

I'm guessing you're all experts on this mythilogical creature thanks to my previous posts, but now I'm going to talk about it again and emphasize it's grossness and creepiness. The kraken is actually quite frightening because it does as Davy Jones commands no matter what. And of course Jones doesn't exactly order it to get him some tea and crumpets. It eventually washed up on an island dead. That's when Pintel and Ragetti make planes on selling chunks of to people as souvonirs. Mean while Jack and Barbossa have an intense conversation right in front of the beasties eyeball.

4) King George II
This one probably is a surprise to you but, quite frankly, this guy really creeps me out. I mean I love British people and this guy is British but that face is just hideous. And then you have to put a huge fluffy wig on it. Of course that's not enough to be creepier then the Kraken is it? It is because he also makes Barbossa's hideous face have a wig on it as well. I still have nightmares. 
3) The Heart of Davy Jones

Okay you know I had put this on my list. I mean It's a heart. And not just any ones heart, but the a squid faced maniac's heart. This bloody organ goes through a lot. It's cut out placed in chest for a few years, picked up again and put in a jar of dirt. But then James Norrington decides to stuff it in a sack and bring it to Port Royal where it is then taken aboard the Flying Dutchman. There it surrounded by people pointing guns at it until finally Jack Sparrow comes in helps Will stab it, which by the way made goo squeeze out of it. But really tells me the heart is creepy is that Ragetti of people wonders if it's really true.
2) Tia Dalma
Yes, she is one of my favorite characters but you gotta admit that she can be very creepy. She randomly gives people the weirdest facest, like when Will pays her a visit for the first time. Also she got horible gramar. And when she turns into Calypso again she yelled very loudly then burst into a bunch of crabs. Who does that??? But at least she ended up helping the Brethren Court.

1)Elizabeth Swann
Wow this one is a whole lot of weird. If you've seen many of my posts you'll know I have a very nice collection of ugly Elizabeth picture. I also enjoy making fun of her. She get's really hyped up sometimes. Very judgemental. She hated pirates all her life then ends up being King of them. Gotta say that was not one Jack's better moves. She also kissed about every boy in the films. Don't get me started on the fact that she KILLED CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW. 

"Who taught you to be so charming?"

In the awesome novel The Price of Freedom by A.C. Crispin, Jack has a crazy night on the town  (Shipwreck Cove)  in which he discovered the dead body of One-Tooth-Tommy, a sailor on Barbossa's ship that was attacked by rouge pirates. Two days before he was murdered Tommy told Jack he had seen the Captain of the rouge ship in Shipwreck Cove. Tommy saw the Captain the night of the attack,  "I seen him that night, on his ship. Lookin' for survivors, he was, in the water. Not to save 'em. To kill 'em. The smoke was so thick, it hid us. Only reason we survived. 'Cause when the devil wants ye, he takes ye. Right?" Jack didn't believe Tommy at first, because Tommy being the great pirate that he was, was drunk. Jack felt terrible about not believing Tommy, and of course the rouge pirate who killed Tommy is out there just waiting for Jack to catch him! So Jack sets off to find the rouge. Right after he starts his quest Esmeralda confronts him and tells him she wants to come along. Jack was very surprised that Emeralda wanted to join him because despite his great charm, Jack thought Esmeralda had fallen for the other great charmer in this triangle of friends, Christophe-Julien de Rapièr. Christophe was a few years older then Jack and quite wealthy, 
But really Jack is every girls dream guy! Just look at that handsome face!  Anyways, Jack and Esmeralda use the dingy that the trio had borrowed from Don Rafael (Esmeralda's grandfather) and rowed around the cove searching for a sloop that matched the description also given to Jack by Tommy.  They spotted a ship, Jack: "Esmeralda, that ship...she's a sloop, Bermuda-rigged, just as Hector Barbossa described. And she's got a brass bow chaser, all right. Foreign work, and it looks to be an Indian work to my eyes. But darlin’...I know that ship. That's Koldunya. Borya's sloop." Esmerelda: "What? But—but—Borya...you can't mean the man I met! The Pirate Lord? It can't be!".  After they make this crazy discovery they rushed back to the city to alert Don Rafael.  But by the time they (Teague and Don Rafael) went to search sloop all evidence had been removed.  They brought Borya back to Pirate Hall and gathered the other Pirate Lords for an official court of inquiry. Jack and Esmerelda were called as witnesses but the evidence they gathered was not enough to convict,

 so the Lords made the decision to summon Davy Jones, keeper of the sea and all it dead sailors. Jones told the court that Borya was guilty as charged. But he also had an accomplice. Jones was unable to tell the court who the accomplice was. Borya was sentenced to hang. The court was adjourned but Jack wasn't satisfied. He and Esmerelda left Pirate Hall and went to their favorite tavern to think. Barbossa was also at the Drunken Lady, he greeted them with some bad news. Christophe was in league with the rouges. Jack was shocked and immediately started hatching a plan to save his comrade. First he needs the keys to the dungeon from that blasted dog. 
So he and Esmerelda sneaked on board Teague's ship and fed the dog, How sweet! Animal lovers so cute.  But unfortunately for them Teague was coming down the hall so the pair ducked into a nearby closet, and waited for Teague to leave. After getting a tad frisky in the closet, they were finally alone and while the dog ate they snatched up the keys. Now if only it was that easy to help their friend escape from the dungeons of Shipwreck Cove.

"Never Actually Been One For Tradition"

The newly wed Mr. and Mrs. Will Turner find their hopes tragically crushed when Davy Jones evilly stabs Will's heart.  All hopes of them living happily ever after would have been diminished if it were not for Captain Jack Sparrow, of course.  Jack lets Will stab Jone's heart just in time, making Will the almost immortal captian of the Flying Dutchman.  As the crew comes out to carve out his heart, Elizabeth starts to feak out, not really understading what is happening.  Elizabeth: "Don't leave me.  Don't.  No!  U won't leave you."  So Jack picks her up and polls her off of Will, knowing that she won't be able to handle the sight over her husband's chest being cut open.  Ew.  Bootstrap Bill: "The Dutchman must have a captain."  As always, dramatic music is playing in the background.  Jack has Elizabeth just in time before Bootstrap makes the incision.  He ties her ound his waste with some rope and finds some creative way to get them off the cursed ship (no surprise there).  
Jack: "Hold on!"  He makes a little parachute out of the mast and uses a gun to shoot them off the deck.  Jack the monkey realizes just in time to grab onto some rope hanging off of their parachute.  The crazy wind storm pushes them away from the ship.  Elizabeth has regained her sanity long enough to hold onto Jack's waist and watch the Dutchman and its new captain fall into the Maelstrom.  The wind drops them off in the water, not far from the Black Pearl and the threesome are helped back onto the ship.  Gibbs: "Thank goodness, Jack.  The armada's still out there.  The Endeavor's coming up hard to starboard, and I think it's time we embrace that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions."  There it is again, after all that they still want to run away.  On the bright side, the storm has cleared up!  (Get it, bright?)  Jack, however, has better plans.  He's not ready to give up this fight he just started.  Jack: "Never actually been one for tradition."  
He walks over the side and stares out at the EITC armada, but he never looses faith in himself. Now that they've got the Dutchman on their side, what could go wrong?  Jack: "Close haul her.  Luff the sails and lay her in irons."  Barbossa: "Bely that, or we'll be a sitting duck."  And the arguing continues.  Jack: "Belay that 'belay that.'"  Gibbs keeps trying to talk some reason into Jack (nice try, but it can't work), but Gibbs can barely get more than a word out before Jack screams: "BELAY.  BELAY!"  Gibbs: 'The Endeav . . ."  Jack: "Stow.  Shut it!"  Discussion closed.  Jack runs over to the steering wheel.  Meanwhile, on the Endeavor, Groves is rather shocked to see through hid telescope that the pirates are still just sitting there.  Groves: "What are they waiting for?"  Beckett: "He expects us to honor our agreement."  Groves just gives him a crazy look and they pull out their cannons.  Beckett: "It's nothing personal, Jack.  It's just good business."  So now Beckett is all smug because he thinks he's going to end piracey once and for all.  Or so it seemed.  

Because then out of the ocean arises the Flying Dutchman!  Now, Beckett is still really oblivious and doesn't know about the death of Jones.  Beckett: "Ah, she survived."  The three ships, the Endeavor, the Pearl, and the Dutchman, all begin to sail towards eacother.  Beckett thinks that Jones on the Dutchman will be helping him take down the Pearl.  This must be a rather disappointing day for Beckett.  Because lo' and behold the crew of the Dutchman has lost it's curse and their new captain, Will Turner, is standing all handsomely at the wheel shouting orders.  Will: "Ready on the guns."  Crew: "Guns ready."  This totally pumps Jack and Elizabeht up.  Jack: "Full canvas."  And this pumps the rest of the crew up, even Barbossa.  Barbossa: "Aye, full canvas."  The Pearl and the Dutchman set their course parallel to eachother, not against eacother like Beckett had expected.  This worries Beckett a bit as his ship is suddenly almost right inbetweeen the two ships.  That's when it hits him, he's not surviving this thight.  Groves: "Orders, sir.  SIR!"  
Beckett goes through one of his little episodes where he totally panics and can't think.  He just stands their numbly without a clue of what to do becasue now they're surrounded.  This is just too easy.  Gibbs: "Cap'n." Jack: "Fire."  Gibbs: "Fire!"  Oh here we go again.  Will: "Fire!"  Barbossa: "Fire!"  Elizabeth: "Fire, all!"  She just has to be different.  Now, most ships don't survive being blown away on both sides, so Groves is totally freaking out: "ORDERS? ORDERS SIR?"  Poor Groves, he has to take commands from a coward.  More soldiers are freaking out: "Sir, what do you command?"  Beckett finally speaks: "It's just . . . good business."  Groves finds Beckett useles now.  Groves: "Abandon ship!"  So as all his men fly off the railing, Beckett walks around his blown up deck right into his epic death in which he dies on an EITC flag.  How appropriate.  

"Your Pearl of Great Price"

Have you ever wondered how the Black Pearl got received her name?  Like me, you probably assumed that she always had that name because of her black masts and black everything, really.  Well, spoiler alert, she's painted black because she was burned to the bottom of the sea at the end of the Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom, the awesome book I love to talk about by A.C. Chrispin.  Sorry to totally have given away the ending for you but you really should have read it already.  

Now, if you're one of those people who has to know how a book ends and reads the last few pages of a book first, then you're welcome.  Now you can finish the book on your own.  Anyways, back to the main point.  How the Black Pearl is resurrected is a whole other story for a whole other post, which I'm sure will com eventually so stay tuned.  Okay, so now you know why the Black Pearl is black, but I haven't really explained the pearl part yet, so brace yourselves.  It's actually biblical!  It comes from a parable preached by Jesus in the gospels.  

Jack's best friend in the book, Robby Greene, was raised in the Church of England so he knew all these Bible stories.  Jack, who doesn't know the Pearl just yet, is captaining it under the command of Cutler Beckett.  She's called the Wicked Wench instead, as she isn't black yet.  But Jack wants to own her so badly, it's all he can think about as he sails her.  Robby: "Some things are just obvious, Jack.  The Wicked Wench is like your pearl of great price."  Jack: "Pearl?"  Robby: "It's from the Bible, Jack.  A parable Jesus told his disciples, about a merchant who saw a perfect pearl, the most wonderful, beautiful one in the whole world, but very costly.  The merchant had to have this thing that was so perfect, so he sold everything he had so he could posses it.  It's in the Gospel according to Matthew."  This makes Jack pretty excited.  

Jack: "By, Jove, I know just how the chap felt, Robby.  Most of the Bible stuff you tell me about doesn't make much sense to me, but this story does.  A pearl of great price . . . that's this hip, to me."  That' wasn't exactly what the point was though, unfortunately.  Robby: "No . . no, Jack.  That's not what the story means.  It's a parable about how one gets into Heaven."  Who doesn't love paradise?  Jack: "Don't ruin it, Robby.  I like the story!  First Bible story you eve told me that I liked.  Be happy, mate."  Robby: "But, Jack-"  And then they get interrupted.  Throughout the book Robby drops many spiritual hints at Jack but none of them really stick with Jack until this one.  

Robby should tell him about when Jesus calmed the storm, because I doubt Jack loves to sail the storms.  Jack really must have liked this parable because he named the love of his life after it.  Jack really did risk everything for the Pearl and everything again to gain her back later.  That is one committed captain all right.  Although it really is too bad that Robby was never first mate on the Black Pearl.  Perhaps Jack also partially named the ship after Robby, his long lost friend.  But that whole long lost thing is a whole other story, yet again.  What a great captain, what a great friend.  

"Thank you, Captain Sparrow"

Feeling in the Thanksigiving mood still, I'd like you to all know that I am so thankful for the awesome Pirates of the Caribbean series.  Whosever idea it was to transform the intense ride into four epic movies deserves a round of aplause!  All four movies are great, but I must admit that some of them I like more than others.  So here's my listing on which are my favorites.  Please comment and let us know if you agree or disagree and what your preferences are!
4) Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

While this movie was the only one so far I was able to see in theatres (went opening day!), I don't think it quite surpassed any of the movies in the trilogy before it.  While I liked Angelica's pessimistic mood and the strange love going on between her and Jack, I wished they had brought back some of the old characters.  For example, I missed Jack's crew, like the good old silly pirates that we love to post about.  Also, I wasn't really a big fan of Philip and Syrena.  If they wanted to have a complicated love story a long with Jack and Angelica's, then they should have stuck with Will and Elizabeth.  I'm wondering how they are handeling their long distance relationship.  That being said, I did like the super creepy mermaids.  I mean, what could be better than deceiving maniupulative yet beautiful sea creatures who drown and eat men?  Not much.  They were quite the obstacle to face and I loved watching them do so.  Oh, and Blackbeard and his Sword of Triton was pretty epic.  It takes a lot to get through all that, but of course Jack and Barbossa mange it.  So, it's not that I don't like the movie, It's just not my favorite.  
3) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest 

I feel bad listing the movies, becasue I like them so much.  But some must rise above the others.  Dead Man's Chest is a pretty dark and evil movie.  It starts out with a rained out and ruined wedding, and ends witht the couple falling apart of the death of a hero.  The second scene opens with the wicked torturing of sailors at a Turkish prison.  The super sad aroma is about the only critisism I can make though.  I love the scene when the crew ends up on the island of the Pelogostals.  The scene with the stupid sailors who are being tricked by Elizabeth always makes me laugh.  Not to mention I love the additon of Tia Dalma, the crazy Obeah woman.  She's one of my favorite characters of the movie and she really freaks out Pintel and Ragetti. Davy Jones and Lord Cutler Beckett both become enemies to the pirates, both being equally as evil and scary.  Of course, both in their own way.  Jones has a bunch of creepy tentacles coming off his face and a beating heart in a chest, but Beckett is about four feet tall with a deathly glare.  Two antagonists in one movie so epic!
2) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
This movie is just so cool.  Of course, it starts out kinda dark again with Lord Cutler Beckett executing a bunch of innocent people in Port Royal, probably Will and Elizabeth's neighbors, including a poor little boy.  But this boy starts singing and then everyone else continues singing, "Hoist the Colors", the pirate anthem.  And someone goes over and tells Beckett about all the singing, and all Beckett says is: "Finally."  Yeah, I wasn't really sure why he was waiting for his prisoners to sing, but I later found out that when "Hoist the Colors" begins to be sung, it means that the Brethren Court is going to meet.  This meeting is the premesis of the whole movie, which is kinda what makes it so awesome.  All the pirates in the world joining together against two equally menacingly creepy vilians.  Um, whoah there.  This is just too awesome.  But first you have the hillarious scene between all the bickering pirates before you get to all the fighting.  And in the midst of all the action you even get a little bit of romance.  I'm serious, this movie has it all.  
4) Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
The first movie ever really was my favorite.  It got the ball moving for all the next movies.  It's when you're first introduced to all the characters, and all the locations, including Tortuga!  It starts off with little Will and Elizabeth, when they first meet.  Elizabeth is sailing across the Atlantic when she catches a glimpse at the Black Pearl sailing away after destroying a ship.  One person was able to survive this raid: William Turner Jr.  Elizabeth takes care of him after he is rescued until they reach Port Royal.  Elizabeth finds a medallion on him while he is unconscious, and keeps it from him.  This little peace of gold is the main object of the whole movie.  To be honest, I think all the characters were the best in this movie: Jack was the funniest, Will and Elizabeth were the cutest, and Barbossa was a great villain.  The fact that Jack was always switching sides added to the awesomeness of the movie because the audience was never sure what was going through his mind.  Then again, we can never be sure, but we love Jack all the same!

"And Marty the dwarf!"

Now continouing with the theme of celebrating our great motley crew I will post all about Marty. I'll start with some interesting facts about the actor who portrayed him, Martin Klebba. Now Marty wasn't always called Marty. The film-makers had decided to call him Dirk and last minute they switched his name to Marty because it sounded more like the actors name. Klebba also portrayed the Butcher in the play on Snow White Mirror Mirrror, some guys pet in Planet of the Apes, a small alien in Men in Black and many more films. But now let's get to the good stuff. We all know Marty is a little smaller than most sailors but was considerably strong.

 Of course in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl the camera zooms in on the first of Jack's recruits and slides across all the faces of the new crew members. Until of course it comes to Marty who's head is much lower. Marty and the rest of the crew sail on to the Isla de Muerta on the HMS Interceptor. When they reach the island Jack and Will go a shore while the crew stays on board. Only Will and Elizabeth return which upsets the loyal crew. But they keep to the code: "Whoever falls behind, is left behind." While sailing away from the isla de Muerta the Black Pearl, captained by Barbossa with Jack in the brig, is gaining on them. So the crew prepares to fight. Marty starts manning a mini cannon and shoots at the Pearl to the dismay of Jack. I must say that mini cannon does suit Marty. 
When he runs out of cannon balls for his cannon Marty goes below deck to help Gibbs man a large cannon. Remembering Will's speech about firing everything they have, Marty helpfully grabs Gibbs' bottle and fires it at the Pearl. It hits the place where Jack is and breaks the lock to his cell. However the Interceptor is no match for the Black Pearl and he and the others are captured. The cursed crew leaves Jack and Elizabeth on a deserted Island where they are picked up by a passing ship and taken back to Port Royl. In Port royal they tell the commodore about the pirates and convince him to sail to the Isls de Muerta and kill the cursed crew.
 Mean while Barbossa, now in possesion of the 882 coin, sets sail for the Isla de Muerta where he will spill wills blood with the coin, freeing him and his crew of the Curse. When they reach the island the Dauntless is already there with Jack and Elizabeth and a bunch of Royal Marines, but they are out of sight. While the cursed crew is on the island Elizabeth comes aboard the ship and frees the crew. The crew then takes the ship and sails away, leaving Elizabeth and Jack on the island. Unfortunatley Jack is caught by the navy after the battle aboard the Dauntless and is taken to Port Royal to be hung. But as we all know he "escapes" by falling of the cliff int the ocean, but luckily Jack's loyal crew come and saves the day in the Black Pearl and making Jack they're Captain.