"Hello, Beastie"

"Let no joyful voice be heard! Let no man look up at the sky with hope! And let this day be cursed by we who ready to wake…the Kraken!" -Davy Jones.  Isn't this a really nice thought?  Really brightens up my day.  Davy Jones is very proud of his disgusting, vile, vicious pet, the kraken.  Whenever he needs to destroy a ship but is too lazy to make his immortal crew to do it, he sends out his little pet.  Like father like son.  Sort of.  Not really.  You know what I mean.  Jones instructs the crew of the Flying Dutchman to crank this wheel, which thumps the water and calls the dear kraken.  As he does this he sings a little melody to it, pronouncing it "krack-in".  Pintel and Ragetti have some what of an obsession over this beautiful beast.  Pintel: "I don't think it's 'Kracken,' anyways. Always heard it said 'Kray-kin'."  Ragetti: "What? With a long "A"? Na-na-na-na, "Kroh-ken"'s how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and Kracken's closer to that."  Pintel: "Well we ain't original Scandinavians, are we? Kray-kin."  Ragetti:"It's a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants!"  It's DAVY JONES' mystical creature so therefore it's pronounced how Jones' pronounces it.  

Do you really want to disagree with someone who owns a gigantic sea monster?  Jack tries tricking Jones and we all know how well that works out.  Bootstrap Bill stops on board the Black Pearl to warn Jack that if he doesn't join Jones' crew soon, the kraken will come after him.  Bootstrap gives Jack the black spot, which is how the kraken knows who to hunt.  In a hurry to get out of the open water and away from Jones' territory, Jack quickly sails the crew inland, but looses his dear hat in all the crazyness.  Gibbs offers to turn around to retrieve it, but Jack is too desperate to return.  So strange sailors who don't speak English pick up Jack's hat in the middle of the ocean.  They get a good laugh out of it, before they die; their whole ship is swallowed up by the kraken.

When Will Turner secretly escapes the Flying Dutchman with the key to the chest of Davy Jones, the captain is of course not happy.  But he can already see the ship in which Will is on.  It probably wouldn't be too hard to sail on over, board the ship, take will back, and then kill him.  But where would be the fun in that?  Plus, then Will would for sure die.  These innocent sailors, of course, freak out when they see the Dutchman.  Will: "I've doomed us all."  Not gonna lie, you kinda did.  Then, the ship suddenly is attacked by the evil sea monster.  Captain: "Oh, Mother Carey's chickens!  What happened?"  Wow.  Mother Carely's chickens?  First odds bodkins and now Mother Carely's chickens?  Please, I know you are about to die, but PLEASE control your language.  This is a Disney movie!  Everyone but Will seems to think they ran into a reef and that is why they are halted.  

Will is smart and climbs high up on the mast by himself, not warning the others.  But they understand once the captain is suddenly pulled into the sea by a giant tentacle.  Now, these are the strange sailors who Elizabeth escapes Port Royal on.  She is no longer on the ship, but she left her dress, which Will discovers.  Of course, Will has other things to think about like living at the moment, but the idiot crew members apparently don't.  One holds up the dress screaming, "Here it is!  Take it!" Believing that "This Ship Is Haunted" by the dress and its all the kraken really wants.  There is some creepy organ music played in the background for dramatic effect.  Was Davy Jones' playing it I wonder.  The kraken tears apart the boat and the Dutchman take the survivors.  But according to Jones, there is no survivors.  So they slaughter them all.  Will, however, barely survives.  He swims over, back onto the Dutchman, (nice work) and hides in the front.  Out of the frying pan, into the fire . . . and then back into the frying pan.  

But not to worry, Will again returns to the fire when the Black Pearl is attacked by the kraken.  Jones: "Who sent that thieving charlatan onto my ship?  Who told him of the key?  Jack Sparrow!"  Who else?  So we face yet another kraken attack.  Which is rather successful, thanks to Elizabeth.  The ship goes down with it's dearly beloved captain.  The kraken roars in Jack's face, and spits up some pretty gross stuff all over him, including Jack's lost hat!  Jack: "Not so had.  Oh!"  He puts his hat on and braces himself for the next adventure: "Hello, beastie."  And there they go.  Davy Jones watches contently: "Jack Sparrow, our debt is settled."  Or so it would seem.  

"You've Seen It All, Done It All"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNNY DEPP!!!  If you don't know who Johnny Depp is, you are having serious problems and I'm not really sure why you are on this blog.  But if you do know who Johnny Depp is, then you are aware that be plays our dear friend Captain Jack Sparrow, and does a pretty good job at it also.  So on today, June 9, 2012, Johnny Depp turns 49!  (Even though he looks about fifteen years younger.)  I shall now share with you my favorite movies Johnny Depp starred in in honor of his awesomeness.
5) Rango
In this film we fully embrace the fact that Johnny Depp is in all types of genres. From people pie makers to talking lizards he does a fantastic job.  This movie even won Best Animate Picture. Rango Falls out of a car while driving with his owners through the desert. He en counters a city full of strange animals. He soon realizes that this city is a bit low on water. Weird how are captain Jack Sparrow can't go with out a drink just like Rango. Any way he decides to impress everyone by telling them how great he is. They are so impressed that they make him sheriff. Once he is sheriff the little water the creatures have is stolen and the adventure begins. (It's also weird how here he is enforcing the law where in POTC he is a pirate)
4) Edward Scissorhands

Have you ever wondered where snow comes from?  Well, according to this film directed by Tim Burton, snow comes from the mysterious Edward Scissorhands, played by Johnny Depp of course, who uses his hands of scissors to shave ice, letting it fall round the city.  Edward was created by a scientist, who died before finishing his hands, so Edward must survive using scissors.  A nice young lady finds him living all alone and takes him in to live with her family. At first, Edward becomes a sensation in this suburbia, cutting people's hair and doing their lawn.  But Edward gets himself into trouble helping the teenage daughter of the family and must return to his secluded home, where he shaves the ice.
3) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Johnny Depp plays the wonky Willy Wonka in Tim Burton's adaptation of the children's story by Roald Dohl.  If you haven't read the book or even seen one of the movies, then you really did not have a very good childhood.  I'll enlighten you now, because it's never too late to learn.  Willy Wonka runs a huge chocolate factory but doesn't let anyone in. Suddenly, there is an announcement for a contest that for one day only five children may take a tour of the factory if they find a golden ticket.  Charlie Bucket finds a golden ticket and enters into the awesome factory.  Charlie then realizes upon his tour that Willy Wonka has chosen him to run the factory when Mr. Wonka is gone.  But of course, Tim Burton adds an extra spin by revealing Willy Wonka's troublesome past.
2) Alice in Wonderland

The birthday boy stars in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (Johnny Depp is in like half of Tim Burton's films, if you haven't realized) as the Mad Hatter.  Alice falls through a whole and finds herself in Wonderland.  After encountering quite a few other odd characters, she meets the Mad Hatter.  The Red Queen is out to get Alice though and the Mad Hatter saves her life by shrinking her and throwing her in his hat.  Alice returns the favor by later saving him from the Red Queen.  Together they team up with the rest of Wonderland to end the tyranny of the Red Queen.
1) The Pirates of the Caribbean
If you haven't noticed, I love The Pirates of the Caribbean series.  If it wasn't my favorite, then I guess this website would be called: snippetsofedward.blogspot.com or snippetsofwilly.blogspot.com.  

But it's not because Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Hector Barbossa, Angelica, Joshamee Gibbs, and of course Captain Jack make every movie thrilling, funny, and entertaining.  Usually, Disneyland makes rides from their movies, but for Pirates, they based the movies off of the rides.  Johnny Depp voices Jack Sparrow on the rides and video games also.  The first movie was a huge success at the box office, which most people creditted to Johnny Depp, who was nominated for an Academy Award for best actor as Jack.  Johnny Depp said that Jack Sparrow is apart of him and he plans to play him in all of the future films.  Hopefully he will return in a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie!

"I Love Your Eyes"

As we all know, Captain Jack Sparrow is a huge fan of eye liner.  But what you might not know is why.  I mean, most people believe that it's because Johnny Depp, who does a magnificent job playing our favorite pirate, always have to look wonky in just about every movie.  Which still holds true, but there's is a logical explanation for all this make up which is explain in A.C. Crispin's novel, The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom.  As we have mentioned before, Jack has a close lady friend, a pirate like himself, Lady Esmeralda.  Well, she runs into Jack while he is first mate on the Fair Wind, a merchant ship for the East India Trading Company.  She invites him over for dinner on her ship.  Of course, once the two are alone together, Jack tries to charm her, commenting on her very nice eyes.  Jack: "You're eyes.  I love your eyes.  The way you've enhanced them.  What did you do?"  Esmeralda: "A little trick I picked up in the east.  It's called kohl.  They all outline their eyes there, in that part of the world, both men and women.  The sun is so hot, and it helps protect against thee glare of the water.  It also helps prevent infections.  You should try it, Jack.  It would look wonderful on you.  Let me show you."  And so the obsession begins.  Esmeralda applies the kohl above and below his eyes.  Jack approves of it: "Thanks love.  I like it.  I'll have to remember this next time I'm in the east."  Esmeralda: "Oh, they sell it in Tortuga.  You know Tortuga."  We all know the lovely city of Tortuga, but that is a post in and of itself.  But since Jack is now working for the EITC, he doesn't visit the pirate port of Tortuga any more.  That is, until he gets the Black Pearl to himself.  And of course, his first stop is Tortuga, where he gets himself that lovely kohl eyeliner and we see it constantly on him ever since.  

But let's not forget the time when Jack goes a little overboard on make up when he is trapped on the cannibal island in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.  Wasn't that a lovely image?  Once Jack has this lovely stuff on, he realizes that Esmeralda was right about it: it does prevent the glare of the sun.  And down in the Caribbean and Africa (where much of the book takes place), the sun is stronger since it's closer the the equator.  As well, as protecting his eyes from getting hurt (and who wants a blind captain?  No offense to Mistress Ching, she's just no Jack Sparrow), it also prevents infections.  And our dear Captain Jack Sparrow cannot catch some nasty sea infection and die on us, can he?  There is a method to the madness.

"I'd vote for you"

Right side up and sailing along, all nice and calm, Jack Sparrow and Barbossa just have to disturb the peace because they can't decide who gets to be head Captain of the Black Pearl.  Barbossa: "What are you doing?"Jack: "What are you doing?" Barbossa: "No, what are you doing?"Jack:   "What are you doing?" Barbossa:"No, what are you doing?"Jack: "What are you doing…er, captain gives orders on the ship."Barbossa: "The captain of this ship is giving orders."Jack: "My ship, makes  me captain!"Barbossa:"They be my charts."Jack: "Well, that makes you…chart man!"   Wow guys, real mature. Well one of the silly pirates Decides to weigh in with his two cents, Pintel: "Stow it! Both of you! That's an order! Understand? [Jack and Barbossa stare at him] Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration, sorry."
Ragetti: "[to Pintel] I'd vote for you."  
Well to be honest I would vote for him too. Hahaha NOT!  We never really find out who is really in charge.  But soon after that immature argument, the  crew returns to whatever crews do on large ships. After sailing for a short time, half the crew they acquired turns on them and Sao Feng pops in and captures their ship and takes the crew (along with the disagreeing captains) captive.    

And guess who else pops in?  Our favorite short dude, Lord Cutler Beckett, We'll get back to him in a bit.  It turns out After getting his hideout blown to pieces by the EITC Sao Feng decided to join them. (Quite an odd move if you ask me)  He tries to explain his reasoning to Barbossa,  "There is no honor in remaining with the losing side, leaving it for the winning side…that's just good business." "The losing' side, ye say?" But Barbossa who still has faith in his fellow pirate tries to convince Feng to break his deal with the EITC and come to the gathering of the Brethren Court,  he has a trick up his sleeve and tries use it to lure Feng back.
 Meanwhile Jack and Beckett are having a discussion, in which Beckett tries to convince Jack to lead him to Shipwreck Cove (meeting place of the Brethren Court) , While also threatening him with a teeny-tiny little pistol, Jack who is apparently is still mad at his rescuers ( or maybe his was afraid of the pistol? ) agrees to the deal, as long as Beckett forces Jones to stop chasing him. Back to Barbossa and Feng, Elizabeth is bartered off in trade for Feng's loyalty to the pirates. To show his loyalty Feng attacks the EITC ship Endeavor while Jack is still on board. Jack has to duel with Beckett's friend Mercer, but eventually escapes back to his ship  the Black Pearl.

 And Lizzie sets off with Feng, on an uncertain mission. Soon she finds out that Feng thinks she is the human form of Calypso (goddess of the sea trapped by the brethren court many years ago)  However, the EITC wasn't happy that Feng betrayed them so they sent Jones and his ship The Flying Dutchman after them.  Being the savvy pirates that they are, The crew bombards Sao's ship The Empress with cannon balls.  on of them hits the captain's cabin where Sao happens to be trying to force his plan upon Elizabeth.  The cannon ball barreled through the wall and sends shards of wood into Feng's back, impaling him. Just before he dies Sao names Elizabeth as the captain. And The Empress continued on to the gathering at Shipwreck Cove. Where argument and gunfights await them. But hey they're pirates what do you expect? 

"Sometimes Things Come Back Mate"

After Jack successfully gets the crew back out of the land of the dead, Barbossa, Will, Jack, Elizabeth, and Gibbs are no longer on the same side trying to get out of the nasty place.  They all want something of the others that obviously requires a pistol to do the work.  Barbossa looks out at the beautiful setting sun, gives a nice smile showing how happy he is that Jack got them there, and then points his gun at Jack.  And then once one gun is out, they're all out. Barbossa, Jack, Will, Elizabeth and Gibbs all stand in circle with a gun in both hands, pointing them at the peeople to the left and right of them.  Elizabeth has a gun pointed at Jack, so naturally he points one back.  

Elizabeth finds this very offensive, gasps dramatically, and gives him a cold look.  Jack the monkey decides to join in the fun and points his gun at Cotton's parrot.  (Why does a monkey have a gun?)  Parrot: "Parley?"  Pintel and Ragettie, who had the brilliant idea to tie themselves up side down frantically try to join the gun party. Pintel: "We need our pistols!  Get untied, hurry!"  Everyone is glaring at eachother in the circle.  Then Barbossa, who first pulled out his gun, starts to laugh creepily.  Everyone starts to laugh and lower their weapons.  Barbossa leads the way again.  Barbossa: "All right, then!" Everyone's gun is back out.  Barbossa: "The Brethren Court is a-gathering at shipwreck Cove. And, Jack, you and I are a-going.  There'll be no arguing that point."  Jack: "I is arguing that point."  You has good gramar.  Jack: "If there's a pirates a-gathering, I'm pointingmy ship the other way."  He owes them all to much money to confront them.  
]
Elizabeth points her two pistols at him.  Elizabeth: "The pirates are gathering to fight Beckett, and you're a pirate."  Who told you?  How did you know?  Jack moves both of his guns at Elizabeth; this time she doesn't make a scene about it.  Will reacts by pointing guns at Jack too.  Will: "Fight or not, you're not running, Jack."  Jack points one pistol at Will and one at Elizabeth.  Barbosssa: "If we don't stand together, they'll hunt us down one by one, till there be none left but you."  Jack: "Quite like the sound of that.  Captain Jack Sparrow, the last pirate." Barbossa breaks through the circle and points one gun at Jack and the other a Gibbs (who is always loyal to Jack).  Barbossa: "Aye.  And you'll be fighting Jones alone.  How does that figure into your plan?"  Jack: "I"m still working on that.  But I will not be going back to the Locker, mate.  Count on that."  Please don't or everyone will have to sail to the end of the world to get you again.  Jack pulls his trigger to fire at Barbossa, but all that comes out is water.  Everyone fires their guns but get the same reaction.  Gibbs: "Wet powder."  Pintel: "Wait! We can still use them as clubs!"  With good reason, everyone ignores him.  Except Ragetti who tries out this theory by hitting Pintel on the head.  Ragetti: "Sorry.  Effective, though."  
Will, realizing they can do nothing without supplies pulls out the map.  Will: "There's fresh water on this island.  We can resupply there and get back to shooting eachother later."  Jack: "You lead the shore party.  I'll stay with my ship."  Maroon him on an island the way he did to you?  But you would still need those supplies.  Barbossa: "I'll not be leavign my ship in your command."  Okay Barbossa, let me help you get this straight.  THE BLACK PEARL IS NOT YOUR SHIP!Jack paid a very high price for that boat and then killed you to get it back.  It's time to let go.  Will: "Why don't you both go ashore and leave the ship in my command." Everyone looks at him like he's crazy.  Will: "Temporarily."  They reluctantly agree.  Jack and Barbossa lead a party to shore to get supplies.  As usual, Pintel and Ragetti are part of the party, also as usual they have trouble getting their boat to shore. The wave flips over their row boat.  What are we going to do with them?  When they finally get to shore (soaked), they find the dead kraken washed up on the sand.  Ew. 

 Pintel: "Criminy."  Ragetti: "Odds bodkins."  Those are some creative catch phrases.  They slowly approach the beast.  Pintel: "You stupid fish!"  Now now now, let's honor the dead.  Ragetti: "Actually it's a cephalopod."  So you know all about mystical biology but you can't row a boat?  Yet you're a pirate???  Where is the sense?  They start to climb up the beast as though it were a playgound.  Ragetti: "Pin, I bet people would pay a shilling to see this.  And another shilling for a sketch of them sitting atop."  It probably smells teribble.  Pintel: "Pintel and Ragetti, kraken slayers."  They are just too mature.  But wait, it gets better.  Ragettie: "We could serve up a slice as a sourvenir."  Yes, who wouldn't want to just carry around a piece of dead sea monster with them all over the place.  

Meanwhile, as these fools play around with the dead monster, Jack looks woefully at it, realizing what Beckett has done.  Barbossa: "Still thinking of running, Jack?  Think you can outrun the world? (If anyone could, Captain Jack Sparrow would be the one)  You know, the problem with being the last of anything by and by, there be none left at all."  Jack: "Sometimes things come back, mate.  We're living proof, you and me."  Barbossa: "Aye, but that's a gamble of long odds, ain't it?  There's never a guarentee of coming back.  But passing on, that's dead certain."  Eventually, everyone meets the dead end.  Jack: "Summoning the Brethren Court, then is it?"  Barbossa: "It's our only hope, lad."    Jack: "That's a sad commentary in and of itself." Barbossa: "The world used to be a bigger place."  Beckett said something similar to that to Will in the second movie.  Jack: "The world's still the same.  There's just . . . less in it."  

Words to live by.  In the Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom Jack says he enjoys reading poetry.  Clearly he himself is also a poet.  So you're probably thinking, what's the big deal about a dead kraken?  It was a terrible and scary creature anyways.  Well here's the thing: the kraken was a great part of the pirate life.  It belonged to a pirate: Davy Jones.  But now with the rise of Beckett and the East India Trading Company, the pirate world seems to be slowly disappearing and the death of this mighty creature makes the E.I.T.C. look even stronger.

"Aha! Dead End!"

Captain Jack Sparrow is incredible. He defeated Davy Jones, the E.I.T.C. and lifted the curse of the Aztec gold. One of his latest feat was finding the fountain of youth. While on a quest from Blackbeard to get the silver chalices Jack runs into Barbossa, also looking for the fountain of youth. Jack learns that Barbossa is out to get Blackbeard and Captain Jack decides to help by assisting him in stealing the chalices from the Spanish. After that, Jack goes to get Mr. Beard and lead him to Barbossa at the Fountain. But Jack seems to have trouble guiding them exactly to the Fountain.  Jack: "I could've sworn it was somewhere right around here." 

Luckily he is reminded of it's location when he sees the drops of water that apparently are too cool to obey the laws of gravity.  Jack holds one of these drops on his finger and it slowly floats to the tip of his finger.  He peers through it and it's like a magnifying glass!  He can see the location of the Fountain!  He leads the crew down the rocky path into a cave with a pool of water.  But have they reached the Fountain yet?  One of the crew members reaches up to touch one of the spikes coming from the ceiling.  Automatically the man next to him drops dead.  So they haven't reached the waters of eternal life yet, just death.  The quartermaster sees this death as a setback.  Quartermaster: "We must not stop."  They travel through the cave and into a dark tunnel.  But that tunnel does not go far.  Jack: "Aha! Dead end."  

It's funny because somebody just died.  Blackbeard does not find this funny though.  Blackbeard: "Dead. End."  Jack is very pleased with his work: "Dead end."  Because that's really similar to what they were searching for.  Angelica: "Jack, I'm starting to think you don't know where you're going."  Jack: "It is not the destination so much as the journey, they say."  Jack Sparrow, the poet.  Jack: "Chalices, if you please."  The zombie dude hands him the cups.    Jack holds them up in the air.  Blackbeard looks at him as though he is crazy.  Jack: "Stand back."  Oh my, this is getting serious.  The whole crew retreats in awe, except for Blackbeard. Jack clings the chalices together and they make a nice dramatic chime that echos through the entire cave.  And guess what happens?  NOTHING!  

Slightly anti-climatic if you ask me.  Jack clings them again to stop the awkward silence.  But this time it's not as dramatic.  This is too much for Angelica to bear.  Angelica: "Jack . . .have you ever, in fact . . . seen with your own eyes . . . the Fountain of Youth?"  Jack: "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question, please?"  I'll take that as a no.  Blackbeard: "Quartermaster."  So when you can't get your way, just pull out a gun, am I right?  Jack: "No no no!"  Jack hides behind the chalices.  The bullet bounces off these cups and elsewhere into the cave.  That was lucky.  They try it again.  Jack: "Wait, wait! Wait."  

So Jack leads them all this way to the bloody Fountain, jumped off a cliff, stole the chalices from the Spaniards, and found the zombie crew again only for them to try to shoot him when he cant break into the Fountain the second they reach it.  Quite ungrateful really. 

 So out of desperation, Jack turns the chalices and reads the engraving aloud: "Aqua de vida."  And guess what happens?  RUMBLING!  All the water makes its way to the top of the cave.  Defying gravity!  A bird flies up and into the water.  Jack seems very pleased with his work.  Jack: "Master Scrum . . . do you mind?"  He hands him the cups, and then climbs on top of him!  Jack sticks his sword into the mystical water and up he goes!  Jack appears in a completely different yet equally mystical setting.  

There is fog all around the ground, creating an eerie feeling.  Say, could this be the blessed Fountain of Youth?  Jack picks up his sword and examines the place.  He's now in a new type of cave: the Fountain of Youth.  Meanwhile, back down in the first cave, Angelica, Blackbeard, and the rest of the crew decide joining Jack through the creepy water seems legit.  So they appear also.  Angelica: "So beautiful."  Jack makes his way up to the circular stone: the Fountain with a careful look out for Barbossa and his men.  Jack reaches up to touch the beautiful water, but as usual somebody needs to rain his parade.  Blackbeard: "Sparrow, I'll be the first to taste those waters."  Yes, because you helped so much in getting them there, Mr. Beard.  But this dream will have to wait because now Barbossa and his men have arrive via the strange water portal.  Blackbeard: "The one-legged man."  Angelica: "You brought him here."  Jack: "Would I do that?"  Is this a rhetorical question?

"It goes with your black heart."

After suffering an unfortunate defeat in an epic battle between The Black Pearl  and The HMS Interceptor,  and failed negotiations by Will, Elizabeth is forced to walk the plank by Barbossa and his crew. But first she had to give back the dress loaned to her by (Indian giver)  Captain Barbossa. Barbossa: "So I'll be havin' that dress back before ye go". Jack Sparrow: "I always liked you." Bo'sun: "Grr..."  Elizabeth: "Goes with your black heart."  Barbossa: "Ooh, it's still warm."  The Crew: "Off you go! Come on! Get on with it!" Bo'sun: "Too long!"   And then the wicked 
 Bo'Sun didn't even let her dive in, he whacked the deck and in to the blue ocean she went. Jack tried to weasel out of being marooned on a familiar island with Elizabeth, But he failed of course.


   Well I guess he and Will need to work on their negotiating skills, maybe they can take some group classes together.  But anyways,  Jack and Elizabeth discover some rum and party into the night....well Jack does, While he is getting drunk Lizzie is hatching a plan to bring the rescuers to the party.  After Jack fell asleep she set all the rum on fire. Her plan worked, but Jack wasn't very happy with her afterwords.



 Darling Norrington happens along and save Jack and Elizabeth who then tries and fails to convince her father to return to the pirates and save her true love; Will. Elizabeth: "But we've got to save Will!" Governor Swann : "No! You're safe now. We will return to Port Royal immediately, not go gallivanting after pirates!" Elizabeth : "Then we condemn him to death!"  Governor Swann : "The boy's fate is regrettable... but then, so was his decision to engage in piracy." Well they just gave her the stink eye and the "Umm heck no" face, Ouch. And then they locked her in a cabin, which unfortunately had a window, and lots of sheets. But that doesn't come into play for a little bit.

   While all this is going on, the pirates on board the Pearl are sailing back to island full of treasure and the chest of cursed gold medallions. Also happening around this time, is the conversation that we previously discussed between Jack and Norrington in which Norrington is pigheaded and won't take Jack's advice.
So Jack switched plans and heads on over to the pirates and warns them of their inanimate defeat if they break the curse right away. These guys are smart and they listen to Jack and decide to go kill all the Navy men with their ghostly powers. But where is Elizabeth you might ask? Well she is sneaking out like a little rebel and rowing her little boat over to the treasure and pirate filled Isle de la Muerta    to rescue her beloved Will. Well she made it right on time, after reuniting with Will she joined in the most recent fight between the pirates and give them a piece of her mind "You think you know pain? Try wearing a corset!" 
Well that corset have gotten her in quite a few sticky situations,  but sometimes it does come in handy.  While Liz and Will are fighting boring crew members Jack and Barbossa are battling it out in a potentially never ending fight between to men who can't die. Yippee! We all know Jack wins in the end of course, but what about those Navy men and the Pirates?  Well the Navy men were getting their butts kicked for quite awhile until Will saved the day by breaking the curse and ending both fights. Go Will!  But thats not the end of our tail....How will Elizabeth convince her Father to let her follow her true calling?  I bet that corset he bought her might come back to haunt him. 

“We Are Pirates”

Don't you love pirates? Would it shock you to know that not all pirates are as nice as Captain Jack Sparrow? Well it's true. These pirates are called rogues in the book The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom by A.C. Crispin. They don't even follow the Pirate Code.(Shocker, I know) They just roam the seas with their big old guns and scare ships into putting up a white flag. But instead of taking the cargo and leaving they kill the whole crew and run away. This is not good for awesome pirates because this get's the government mad. Mad enough to start a war. So Captain Teague, keeper of the code, decides to track down these rogues. 
The brethren court decides to summon Davy Jones in order to find the culprit. When Davy Jones arrives he says that the leader of the rogues is non other than Boris or Borya Palachnik, Pirate lord of the Caspian sea and captain of the Koldunya. Teague quickly arrests him. Borya quickily gives up his rogue friend, Christophe. This is when Jack comes in. See Christophe was Jack's closest freind at the time. Christophe tells Teague that his final wish, before getting hanged is to talk with Jack. Teague agrees to his terms but insists that a gaurd watches them at all times. Jack comes in and Christophe immediately convinces him that he's innocent. 

Christophe: “Jacques, tomorrow at dawn they are going to hang me, and all my men, who are innocent, too. We are pirates, yes, but you are a pirate, too! We have not broken the Code! It is Captain Borya's malice, his final revenge on an enemy that has brought us to this pass. Jacques, you are my best friend in all the world...please. Help me.” Jack makes one of his rare mistakes and believes him. Jack secretly frees Christophe and his crew who promptly knocks him out and brings him on board his ship. Jack becomes a "honest sailor" after that and joins the E.I.T.C. because he fears hat if he goes back to shipwreck cove he'll be hanged for freeing a prisoner. He realizes that the only way to redeem himself would be to Kill Borya and Christophe. But he finds this to challenging and continues as captain of the Wicked Wench. However on a voyage to the lost city of Zerzura he runs into Borya, still sailing under the rogue flag, a demon on a red clothe.

Jack knows the waters that they are sailing and leads borya into a trap. Jack would sail through some shallow reefs, avoiding running aground, until Borya who didn't know the area would. This plan goes sucessfully. . .until Jack's ship runs aground as well. So both Ships are unable to move and so both ships continue to fire at each other until Ayisha, the magic princes of Zerzura who was onboard, lights the Koldunya's magazine on fire, blowing up the whole ship. 
Later when Jack uses his compass to find Christophe who is in possesion of the third bracelet needed to open the door to Kerma's treasure Jack ditches christophe without giving him his share. Christophe orders his crew to go and get JAck but they think he's going crazy and leave him on a row boat in the middle of the ocean. He finds Jack's ship and boards it. He challenges Jack to a duel and he accepts. They run around the whole ship and in the end Jack wins. And So our hero is is free to pirate another day.

“It's Frightful Luck To Bring A Woman On Board”

During the many adventures of the pirates of the Caribbean, we come a cross quite a few damsels, all with their own unique personalities and love/hate for Jack Sparrow.  We want to know which of these young ladies you like the most?  Please vote in our poll and let us know!  Now I will share with you which damsels in distress I think are the most interesting.
5. Anamaria

Anamaria and Jack have encountered each other before we first meet her in The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and I don't think they had a very good first impression.  Apparently, Jack had stolen her ship a while back.  So when Jack comes rolling into Tortuga in another stolen ship looking for a crew, Anamaria joins the lot in order to see Jack again and give him a piece of her mind.  She starts out by slapping him.  Will: "I suppose you didn't deserve that one, either."  Jack: "No, that one I deserved."  Anamaria: "You stole my boat!"  Jack: "Actually."  And then she slaps him again.
4. Esmeralda Maria Consuela Anna de Sevilla
Esmerelda is one of the few damsels that has never slapped Jack. In The Price Of Freedom she encounters Jack as he is first mate of the merchant vessel, Fair Wind. She had Just taken over as captain of the ship Vengenza from her father, Don Rafeal. Jack warns the captain that he recognizes this ship but he ignores Jack (bad idea) and ends up going crazy because he thinks that it's improper for a woman to be captain. (Another Bad Idea) Esmerelda gets annoyed and stabs him. However since she has met Jack and (of Course) fell in love so she did not take all of the Fair Wind's cargo. She is also nice later in the book when Jack had just fought and beat a rogue pirate. She sends her men to help Jack's men repair his ship, the Wicked Wench. I suppose she is a bit nicer then a certain damsel that slaps on sight. . .
3. Angelica

Angelica and Jack also go pretty far back beyond the movies.  The first meet when Jack enters into her convent when she's preparing to be a nun.  They fell in love, and then he broke her heart by leaving.  They meet again in a bar in The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  As they sail together on the Queen Anne's Revenge they pick up their love interest again.  But it fails when Jack saves her life (???) and then dumps her on an island as she pretends to be pregnant.  But as she's on the island, Jack's voodoo doll washes up on the shores.  What will she do with it next?

2. Tia Dalma/Calypso

Jack and Tia Dalma go far back.  Even before The Price of Freedom when she gave him is super handy compass that points to whatever he wants the most.  But we first meet Tia Dalma in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.  She lives in some magical shack off the river in what looks like the swamps of Florida or Louisiana.  At first she seems like some sort of creepy enchanted obeah woman, 
but in The Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End we learn that she is a creepy enchanted obeah goddess who used to have thing for Davy Jones.  (Imagine what their kids would look like?)  But their love ended so long ago when Jones stopped fulfilling his duties ferrying souls to the other side and trapped her in human form.  So she turns on him by helping the Brethren court defeat him after they have released her from her human bonds.

1. Elizabeth Swann/Turner

Wow.  Where to begin with this one?  She's in more of the movies than any other woman and the plays quite a significant role in each one.  If you haven't noticed in any of my other posts, I love to hate on Elizabeth.  But in reality, I think she's a great character to include and I missed her in The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  Of course, her constant tone of superiority makes me want to punch her but she makes the movies quite interesting with all her romances.  (There are too many of those to list here, so if you want more about her love affairs click here)  But in the end she marries Will Turner and raises his son, also named Will Turner.