Sunday, October 30, 2011

"The Captain of this ship is giving orders."

After returning from the dead Jack Sparrow resumes control of his beloved Black Pearl..or at least he thought he was in control. Insert Hector Barbossa. Of course he also assumes he has control over the Black Pearl, and we get to see an amusing argument between our two favorite Captains of the Black Pearl. Barbossa: "What are you doing?"  Jack"What are you doing?"  Barbossa"No, what are you doing?" Jack: " What are you doing?" Barbossa:  "No, what are you doing?"  Jack: "What are you doing…er, captain gives orders on the ship." Barbossa: "The captain of this ship is giving orders."  
Jack: "My ship, makes me captain!"       Barbossa: "They be my charts."  Jack: "Well, that makes you…chart man!"

Saturday, October 29, 2011

"Now You're Not Making Any Sense At All"

Jack: "Gentlemen, what do keys do?"
Crewmember: "Keys... unlock things?"
Gibbs: "And whatever this key unlocks, inside there is something valuable.  So we're setting out to find whatever it is this key unlocks?"
Jack: "No!  We don't have the key.  WE can't open whatever it is that we don't have that it unlocks.  SO what purpose would we be serving finding whatever need be unlock, which we don't have.  Without first having found the key what unlocks it?"
Gibbs: "So we're going after this key."
Jack: "You're not making any sense at all."
-Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

As you can tell from this conversation, Gibbs has definately lost his marbles.  I mean, he's rambleing on and on about things that no one ever understands.  Don't we all feel bad for Jack who has to listen to this gibberish man talk about things that clearly do not make any sense and then has to follow out his orders?

Oh wait, that's Gibbs.  Well, we don't mind Jack talking nonsense without end, do we?  Because that's just Captain Jack Sparrow, savy?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

"What the Black Pearl is, is Freedom"

"Wherever we want to go, we go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and sails; that's what a ship needs. Not what a ship is. What the Black Pearl really is, is freedom." -Jack Sparrow in The Pirates of the Caribben: Curse of the Black Pearl.

You almost can't tell that Jack is drunk when he says this.  In this sceen, Jack and Elizabeth are stranded on an island.  Of course, its not that bad for Jack since he has his best friend with him, RUM!  So as they sit in the sand talking about their feelings, Jack vents about how much he loved being captain of the Black Pearl.  Although he continued to bear the name "Captain Jack Sparrow", his crew lead by Barbossa abandons him on an island to die.  The very same island that Jack sits upon with Elixabeth.  

He tells the story to everyone of how he got off the island by tying some turtles together with his back hair to make a boat.  That's not what really happened.  Instead, he found the island was a place where a beer company kept their rum.  So he hung out on the beach drinking until one of the trade ships came to pick up the rum and also took him.

Once off that island, he sets out to get his boat back.  Then of course, he just makes a full ciricle and finds himself trapped on the island again.  That means absolutely no freedom.

The ship means everything to Jack.  All his life he has sailed around the great blue.  Having that ship was all he really wanted.  He even agreed to give his soul to Davy Jones for it.  Jack and the Black Pearl are like two peas in a pod!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"Four of You Have Tried To Kill Me"

"Why should I side with any of you?  Four of you have tried to kill me in the past... one of you suceeded."-Jack Sparrow The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.

That's a little awkward... don't you think?
The crew only sailed off the earth and just to rescue Captain Jack Sparrow, and then they get slapped in teh face by a rejection!  But he does have a point, many of them have tried to kill Jack.

There was Will, who attempted to murder Jack when he stepped into the blacksmith's shop, the second they first laid eyes on each other.  

"I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it."
And then there is Barbossa who had previously committed mutiny upon him, also tried to kill him in the Isle de la Muerta.

There's also the silly head pirates who travel around and make fools out of themselves.  I believe they have tried to kill many people, yet never succeed.
And let's not forget dear Elizabeth Swann, who kisses him as she ties him to the Black Pearl, aka his death.  Then she gets on her boat and leaves him there to get eaten by the Kraken.

I guess you can see how awkward this must be. But then again, they did go through a lot just to save him from Davy Jones' locker.  They all must be crazy though, who would want to kill a pirate like Captain Jack Sparrow?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

"We're All Men Of Our Word"

Will: "Where's Elizabeth?"
Jack: "She's safe, just like I promised.  She's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised.  And you get to die for her, just like you promised.  So we're all men of our word really, except for, of course, Elizabeth who is in fact a woman."

Doesn't that sound appealing?  That was exactly what Will had in mind.  That's great news! Isn't it?  Yay!  Will learns that the love of his life is going to marry some weird British soldier.  But at least he won't have to witness it, because he'll be dead!  Happy Day.

But of course, that doesn't happen.  Elizabeth does remain safe, and a woman.  Will lives, and become engaged to Elizabeth.  And Jack gets a bunch of crazy treasure, before he gets arrested, again.

So what really happens is, Elizabeth is safe as Jack promised.  She's all set to marry Will, as she promises.  Will doesn't die... which he's probably happy about.  So in the end everyone is men of their words, except for of course, Lizzie, who is in fact a woman.

Monday, October 3, 2011

"Death lies before us, as we sail...for the Fountain of Youth."

Well; Jack escaped from prison and the noose again. But soon after, he finds out that some one is impersonating him. That someone happens to be his long lost love Angelica (who he betrayed and is mad a him of course), who just happens to be the supposed daughter of  "Blackbeard. Edward Teach. The pirate all pirates fear. Resurrector of the dead in his spare time." So Jack decides to tag along with her, and try to steal Blackbeard's ship via mutiny. But of course he fails, and is imprisoned.
"You...are a ruthless, soulless, crossgrained cur." "I told you I had a ship." "No, Blackbeard has a ship. Upon which I am now imprisoned."
Jack Sparrow and Angelica

But Jack has a secret. He "knows" where the "fountain of youth" is. And since Blackbeard is dying he agrees to let Jack lead him and his crew to the fountain.

Angelica: I am starting to think you don't know where you are going."
Captain Jack Sparrow: Its not the destination so much as the journey"

But they begin to have some doubts about Jack. So they test him, by throwing him off a cliff.

  • "Oi. If I jump, will I survive?" "...The doll. [Angelica gives him the doll, and the Quartermaster throws it and Jack screams as it falls] ...Yes, now you will survive." "This is nonsense! I'm going!"
    ―Jack Sparrow, Quartermaster and Angelica
  • Of course he survives, so they are back on their quest. And soon after they discover the Fountain! But just before Blackbeard drinks the water and tear, the Spaniards barge in and destroy everything, but Jack Saves the chalices  that hold the Water of life and tricks Angelica into drinking the water, and the dreaded pirate Blackbeard died. Unfortunately  Angelica wanted her "father" to survive and is terribly angry with Jack tries to strand him on an island. But Jack prevails and chooses his love for the sea over he beloved Angelica.
  • "Admit it, Jack. You still love me." "If you had a sister and a dog...I'd choose the dog."  "Treasure! There is a chest with jewels! Jewels with the power to rule the wind and tide!" "You're making that up.""Wait. I am with child...Yours." "I don't recall that we ever had—" "You were drunk!" "I've actually never been that drunk." "Wait. There's something I want to say to you. Something I wanted to say from the moment we first met." "...Go on then.""I love you."
    "...As do I. Always have, always will. [leans in close to kiss Angelica]...I gotta go."
    Angelica and Jack Sparrow '
    After all of this Jack is reunited with his First mate Gibbs And they hatch a plan to oust their beloved Black Pearl
    "So the Pearl. Any idea on how to get her out?" "We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us must learn to play the trumpet, whilst the other one goes like this. [waves his fingers]" "I know a man with a goat." "Good, I can go like this. [waves his fingers]"
    Joshamee Gibbs and Jack Sparrow

    Saturday, October 1, 2011

    "The Only Rules"

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?" Jack says to Will in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.

    Jack delivers this speech as Will hangs on for his dear life to part of the ship.  Will is unable to believe that his father was a pirate.  Well, he was, and he was a pretty famous pirate too.  BOOTSTRAP BILL!  Anyways, Jack might be onto something when he says this.  Pirates can be good people (like Will and Jack).  Pirate is in Will's blood (already explained).  Jack can let Will drown, all though I think Will's attractiveness will be greatly missed as it was in the previous movie.  However, Jack probably could have brought the ship to Tortuga all by his "oneies".  (Jack must have been being humble for once, but we all know that a crazy pirate like Jack could do it on his own).  

    And alas, we must answer his question "Can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?"  Well, if you ask me its rather clear that Will can, hence all Jack and Will's great adventures together.  What would you give to sail on Jack's ship as a crew mate?  Who wouldn't want this insane pirate as their captain?