Saturday, April 28, 2012

"We Can't Just Sit Here and Wait"

Will Turner has set out to find Jack Sparrow and get his compass to free Elizabeth. He ends up on an island filled with a bunch of cannibals. They take Will captive. The good news is Will can talk to Jack's crew since they were put together in the same cell. The bad news is that that cell happens to be hanging from midair 500 feet above the ground made of bones from the other half of the crew. 
Will: "Why would he do this to us. If Jack is the cheif-" Gibbs: "Aye, the pelegostos made Jack their cheif, But he only remains cheif as long as he acts like a cheif." Will: "So, he had no choice. He's a captive as much as the rest of us." Gibbs: "Worse, as it turns out. See the pelegostos beleive Jack is a god in human form, and they intend to do him the honor of releasing him from his fleshy prison. They'll roast him and eat him." I'd like to see them try to eat Tia Delma. Gibbs: "Jack's life will end when the drums stop." Will: "Well, we can't just sit here and wait, then, can we?" He has the crew rock the cage back and forth until they reach the side of the cliff where they can climb up. 
When they finally make it to the cliff they start to climb, but they don't do it for long because they see a guard walking across the bridge above them and are forced to stop. 
However the half of the crew in the cage without Will decides to keep going "quietly." But one of the dudes in that cage accidentaly grabs a snake instead of a vine. He yells and the part of the crew in the cage falls down breaking the rope and hitting the ground with a thud. 
This alerts the gaurd on the bridge and he runs to their camp to get his freinds to help kill the crew. Realizing that they don't have much time Will and the remaining men (there's not many left after the cage and the fall) hurry to the top. Will: "Move!" Once on top they start rolling the cage away from the cannibals. 
When they can't roll any more they decide to lift it up and run. 
Gibbs has some inspirational words to help. Gibbs: "Lift it like a ladies skirt." They accidently run straight of another cliff into some water but it breaks the cage so it's not all bad. The cannibals shoot down at them but stop when a young boy comes and tells them Jack is getting away. Thanks Jack. 
Now that their safe the crew makes their way to the Black Pearl where they find Pintel and Raggeti trying to set sail all by their whimpsies. Pintel: "haul loose the mooring line. The mooring line!" But Raggeti is to busy chasing the monkey with his eye to hear. Ragetti: "Theif! Little Hairy Theif! Give it back. Don't bite it.
Gibbs comes and is happy to see that their almost ready to go. Gibbs: "Excellent! Our works half done." Pintel: "We done it for you, knowing you'd be coming back." Gibbs just ignores him, "Make ready to sail boys!" But will doesn't wan' to go without Jack but luckily he sees him running towards them. . . being chased by the cannibals. Jack comes just in time. And so they set sail for Tia delma's shack.

Friday, April 27, 2012

"Never too Late to Learn"

Now the East India Trading Company has control of the Flying Dutchman and are headed to Shipwreck Cove to end piracy once and for all. Lead by Lord Cutler Beckett the E.I.T.C. armada begins to prepare for battle. However Davy Jones has already begun to charge the enemy. This is fine with Beckett so he just goes along with, confident it will beat the Black Pearl that is heading out to meet it. Right when the two ships are about to start blowing each other up a huge vortex forms, sending the ships in circles. Barbossa and Davy Jones wait for the precise moment to order their crews to attack. When they do all the cannons begin to fire, each ship gets a lot of damage but this is just the beginning. After firing and firing and firing the two sides realize that this plan is taking to long and decide on a new plan: board the other ship. 
They swing on the ropes and if they don't fall and have a very wet death they land right on the enemy's ship. On each of the ships chaos is reigning. Meanwhile Jack is locked up on the Flying Dutchman but he finds a way to escape. Jack: "Think like the whelp. Think like the whelp. Hinges. Hinges. Leverage!" Then he opens the doors the same way Will used to free him way back in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. He rushes to the place where the chest of Davy Jones is up his effects. While he does so he steals the chest from right under Murtogg and Mullroy's nose. On his way out he runs into a old "freind." Davy Jones: "Lookee here boys. A lost bird. A lost bird that never learned to fly." Jack: "To my great regret. But. . .never to late to learn, eh?" He slaps a rope and grabs on as it pulls him upward, flying through the air. But since Davy Jones can teleport on his ship he meets Jack on the mast. Jones: "The chest, hand it over." Jack: "I can set you free mate." Jones: "My freedom was forfeit long ago." And then they begin to sword fight. This duel lasts a long time and has a few funny snippets.

Davy Jones: "You can do nothing without the key." Jack: "I already have the key." A little confused Jones holds up the key and says, "No, you don't. Ha. . Haha. . ." Jack: "Oh, that key." Stupid Davy Jones. Why would Jack be talking about that key? After that Jack slices of the tenticle holding the key. Then the Black Pearl and the Dutchman bump into each other and Jack falls of but grabs onto the chest that Jones is also holding.
 Davy Jones won't let go because he doesn't want Jack to have it. Jack won't let go because falling 50 feet probably will hurt a little. Jones flings Jack upward and he goes flying, but luckily Jack lands right on a fish dude and promptly knocks him off. 
While swinging around he shoots Jones in the hand, making him drop the chest. Jack and Davy Jones come to the deck to look for it. However Will finds it first but looses it while fights with his father. Will: "Stop, it's me. It's Will your son." Bootstrap doesn't get the message and continues to attack. Meanwhile Jack and Davy Jones fight over the chest. Jack hides behind a block of wood that spins around to signal the kraken. Jones just walks through the block but Jack spins it around confusing Jones. 
But he gets over it and chases Jack because he has no sword anymore. Jones knocks Jack down but before Jones can kill him Elizabeth comes in and starts fighting Davy Jones. Jones: "Harridan! You'll see know mercy from me." Elizabeth: "That's why I brought this." 
She then draws her sword and they continue killing each other. Meanwhile the tenticle holding the key worms its way past Jack. He then takes the key and the heart and after Jones stabs Will he threatens to stab it but instead he let's Will stab it saving his life and making him the immortal captain of the Flying Dutchman.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

"As Thick As Theives, Love"

Jack and Angelica are two ambitious pirates who have their minds set on the Fountain of Youth.  But neither of them know exactly everything that is needed inorder to gain eternal life.  So Angelica and Jack meet up in a bar (of course).  After some pretty intense bar fighting, they find themselves soaked sitting on the dock.  Angelica cuts right to the point.  Angelica: "So, what is it?"  Jack: "What is what?"  Angelica: "About the Fountain.  What do you know?"  By now she's got her knife ready for action.  As Jack dumps out the gallons of water from his boot (how much is in that thing???), he quickly give up his information.  
Jack: "You don't happen to be in possession of two silver chalices, circa Ponce de Leon?"  Angelica gives a short look of delight.  Angelica: "No."  Jack: "Ha.  Thought not."  Angelica: "Why?"  Jack: "I hear stories.  Rumors.  You are of course, aware of the ritual."  Now it's Jack asking for information.  Angelica: "Yes, I am."  Jack: "Hmmm.  What is it?  What is required?"  Jack has to wait for that vital piece of the puzzle, because kind Angelica has her hit man shoot him with a dart that knocks him out.
So then Jack's knocked out body gets kidnapped onto the Queen Anne's Revenge, but Jack still needs to know of the ritual for the Fountain.  If he's going to sail all the way out there to save Blackbeard, he might as well gain immortality as well.  So he decides to charm Angelica into giving him the last peice to solve the puzzle.  Angelica: "You can be so charming when you want something, Jack. The trick is finding out what."  Scrum, who is playing his banjo in the background intensifies the music.  Jack: "The truth, then, is it?  Blackbeard has served his purpose.  You and I can go to the Fountain together, where we shall bathe one another in equal shares of fame and other assorted debaucheries."  Sounds tempting.  Angelica: "And I"ll tell you the ritual of the Fountain."  
 The continue to dance around the deck.  "Yes.  The profane ritual."  Angelica: "Can I trust you, Jack?  I need you on my side."  And now they are on the ground  . . .  Jack: "Oh my dearest Angelica.  You and I are as thick as thieves, love.  Tell me the rules."  Man, things are getting really desparate.  Angelica seems to give in.  Angelica: "Water from the Fountain of Youth.  The shimmering tear of a mermaid.  The silver chalices of Ponce de Leon. With these items."  Jack: "Yes?"  Angelica: "With these items, you may take all the years of life from another, Jack."  This seems to change things as Jack quickly sits up.  Jack: "Eh?"  Angelica: "You know what that means.  We cannot go alone, you and I.   The ritual requires a victim."  Well you could, just one of you would have to die.  Jack seems to realize this too.  Jack: "That is unfortuante."  Angelica: "Yes, it is."  Jack: "I find my desire for the Fountain greatly lessened."  Now they're going back onto the dirty ground of the deck.  Angelica: "But there is something onbaord you do want."  Jack then agrees to help Angelica and her father to the fountain in return for the Black Pearl.

As they continue with the mermaid through the forest to the fountain, Jack brings up the ritual again in hopes that maybe he had misunderstood it the first time.  Jack: "What is the ritual again?  Water from the Fountain and a mermaid's tear?"  This time Angelica doesn't hold back.  Angelica: "And two silver chalices.  One cup with a tear, one without."  Jack: "So one with a tear and water in both.  Quite complicated, is it not?"  Angelica: "both get water.  One gets a tear.  Ther person who drinks the water with the tear gets all the years of the life from the other."  Blackbeard is in the background staring menacingly and eavesdroping.  
Jack: "How many years? Whoa."  Angelica decides to pull a snake out of the swamp for dramatic effect.  Angelica: "All the yers that they have lived, and they could have lived if fate had been kinder."  So basically, you haul along a friend of yours to the fountain with a mermaid.  Place the tear in one of the two chalices with the magical water.  Each person drinks randomly.  One person lives for many more years, the other dies, right there.  What a task!  Would you take that risk?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

"Do You Think I Wear This Wig To Keeep My Head Warm?"

We first meet Lord Cutler Beckett at the beginning of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest. He shows up with his army of red coats to find Will Turner and they do. Elizabeth: "Will. Why is this happening?" Will: "I don't know. You look beautiful." I'm not sure this is the right time for that. Elizabeth: "It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding." You know, when you're getting arrested it is definately not your lucky day.  Governor Swann pushes his way through the soldiers to his daughter : "Make way let me through. How dare you. Stand your men down at once. Do you hear me!" Cutler Beckett then turns around slowly. 
Beckett: "Governor Weatherby Swann. It's been too long." Not long enough, apparently.  Governor Swann: "Cutler Beckett?" Beckett: "It's lord now actually."  
Oh, you're cool.  Does this make up for the fact that your four foot two?  Governor Swann: "Lord or not you have no reason and no authority to arrest this man." Beckett: "In fact I do. Mr. Mercer?" Mr. mercer then hands Beckett the warrants and Beckett continues, "The warrant for the arrest of one Will Turner." Governor Swann looks at the document but what he sees is not what he expects. Governor Swann: "This warrant is for Elizabeth Swann." Oh, that's awkward.  Beckett: "Oh, is it? That's annoying. My mistake. Arrest her." Bummer. I was hoping they'd shoot her.  
But wait there's more: "Aha. here's the one for William Turner. And another one for a Mr. James Norrington. Is he present?" Elizabeth: "What are the Charges?"  So we just don't care about Norrington's whereabouts anymore?  That's nice, Elizabeth.  Governor Swann: "Commodore Norrington resigned his commission some months ago." Beckett: "That wasn't the answer to the question I asked." Well then Mr. Bossy Pants. Will Turner: "Lord Beckett, In the category of questions not answered." Um, Beckett asked first, just saying.  Elizabeth: "We are under the protection of the jurisdiction of the king's governor of Port Royal and you will tell us what we are charged with." Fancy words.  Governor Swann: "The charge is conspiring to set free a man convicted of crimes against the crown and Empire and condemned to death for which the. . ." Beckett: "For which the punishment is regrettably also death." 
Not good. Poor Will and Elizabeth. Now they are going to be hanged for rescuing Jack Sparrow. How is that illegal? I say it's still worth it all the way.  Any way Will finds a way to escape custody and sets out to pursue it. He and the governor rush into the prison where Elizabeth waits for him.  Guard: "He can't be here."  Governor Swann: "I think you'll find he can."  You tell him.  Guard: "Mr. Swann!"  Governor Swann: "Governor Swann, still.  Do you think I wear this wig to keep my head warm?"  Respect the wig!  Elizabeth has better things to worry about than her father's latest fashion statements.  Elizabeth: "Jack's compass? What does Beckett want with that?"  Will: "Does it matter?"  You'll find that it does.  
Will: "I'm to find Jack and convince him to return to Port Royal.  In exchenge, the charges against us will be dropped."  Weatherby objects: "No.  We must find our own avenue to secure your freedom."  Will: "Is that a lack of faith in Jack or in me?"  Take a guess. Governor Swann: "That you would risk your life to save Sparrow's does not mean he would do the same for anyone else.  Now, where is that dog with the keys?"  Elizabeth: "I have faith in you.  Both of you."  Well, Jack is a good man and Will is your fiance, so that's always good to know.  
Elizabeth: "Where will you find him?"  Will: "Tortuga.  I'll start there and I won't stop searching till I find him and then I intend to return here to marry you."  Awwwwww.  Elizabeth: "Properly?"  Will: "Eagerly, if you'll still have me."  Elizabeth: "It it weren't for these bars I'd have you already."  This is a really sweet and romantic moment between Elizabeth and Will . . . and Elizabeth's father, who awkwardly drops a candel in the background.  He just throws it on the ground.  Anyways, back to the romance.  Elizabeth: "I'll wait for you."  No you won't!  You kiss and flirt with Jack.  Will: "Keep a weather eye on the horizon."  And then he walks away, leaving Elizabeth waiting in her wedding dress.  

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

"We're Gonna Need That"

After saving Elizabeth, Will and the crew set sail to get as far away from Barbossa as possible. However Jack was caught by Barbossa thanks to a certain somebody who is very handy with a oar. Of course Jack being Jack convinces Barbossa that he knows who Barbossa needs to lift his curse. Barbossa isn't so happy about letting Jack live again but he really wants to eat some nice juicy apples so he agrees. Even though the Interceptor had a head start the Black Pearl catches it quite quickly. Annamaria: "The Black Pearl. She's gaining on us." Elizabeth of course thinks this is quite unproper and speaks up: "This is the fastest ship in the Caribbean." Annamaria: "You can tell them that when they've caught us." Elizabeth then has an idea. Since Interceptor is smaller than the Black Pearl so they can sail into areas with reefs that the Black Pearl can't. They just sail to the reefs and they're safe from the Pearl. However the reefs are bit far away and Barbossa is gaining on them. To go faster the crew get rid of some unnecessary items such as food. Will, seeing that the enemy is still gaining on them, tells a crew member not to get rid of the cannons. Will: "We're gonna need that." The crew have lost everything that can be loss and the Black Pearl is still catching up. Seeing that there is no hope Annamaria says, ''It was a good plan. up till now." 
Will: "Gibbs! We have to make a stand. We must fight. Load the guns!" Annamaria: "With what?" Will: "Anything. Everything. Anything we have left." The crew members follow the orders but are not very optimistic. Elizabeth must be in a very clever mood because she comes up with another plan. She has everyone drop the anchor on the right side so the ship will turn very fast and get right up by Barbossa. While the ship turned the Medallion falls down of the table it was on, and with all the chaos they all forget about it. Everyone yells fire and the battle begins. Jack is not so happy about this shooting his ship thing and decides to let them all know. Jack: "Stop blowing holes in my ship!" But something good comes from all this shooting. A cannon shot hits his cell's lock and Jack is free. YAY. Meanwhile Will realizes he left the Medallion in the lower levels and rushes to get it. However someone closes the door and will is locked in with water threatening to drown him. Jack hops on board the Interceptor and immediately finds Elizabeth and saves her. Jack: "That's not very nice." Then he punches the pirate in the face. 
Then Jack cuts to the point. Jack: "Where's the medallion?" Elizabeth: "Wretch!" Well that was not nice considering he just saved your life. Jack holds up her hand and sees the cut. Jack: "Ah. Where is dear William?" I kind of find it ironic that he just went all this way to save her and she just forgot about him. Elizabeth rushes over to Will but she is caught by some of Barbossa'a crewmen and dragged aboard the Black Pearl. Will still trapped downstairs holds his breathe and goes under. The enemy then blows up the Interceptor but Will survives. He climbs on to the Black Pearl, not really in a good mood after he just blew up their ride and points a gun that apparently has dry powder. 

Will: "Barbossa! She goes free." A little confused Barbossa says, "What's in your head boy?" Will: "She goes free." Barbossa: "You've only got one shot and we can't die." Jack helpfully reminds Will not to do any thing stupid. Will: "You can't but I can." Jack: "Like that." Barbossa: "Who are you?" Jack: "No one. He's no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's nephew, twice removed. Lovely singing voice though. Eunuch." Will: "My name is Will Turner! My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs in my veins. On my word do as I say, or I'll pull this trigger and be lost to Davy Jones's Locker!" Barbossa: "Name your terms." Will: "Elizabeth goes free!" Barbossa: "Yes we know that one. Anything else?" Will: "And the crew. The crew are not to be harmed." Barbossa: "Agreed." As your probably guessing Jack is a bit disappointed. Captain Barbossa makes Elizabeth and Jack walk the plank to the same island as the one Jack was stranded on before. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

"Do You Care To Interpret?"

Jack, Barbossa, Will, Elizabeth, Gibbs, and the crew almost die of thirst and heat as they try to figure out away to return to the land of the living.  As usual, it's Jack who saves the day and gets them safely back, (and into the hands of Sao Feng, but that's besides the point).  It's ironic that the crew is so intensely hot as they leave yet freezing cold as they travel to Davy Jones Locker to save Jack.
Not expecting to travel through such a cold area, the crew does not have the right kind of provisions to survive the cold.  Their boat is quite open at the top, and they've barely got any clothes.  One of Sao Feng's men even breaks his frozen toe off!  Of course, Elizabeth sits all wrapped up in a fur blanket as the rest of the crew shivers to death.  The more miserable they get, the more they wonder whether saving their beloved captain is worth all this pain.  Pintel: "No one said anything about cold."  Ragetti: "I'm sure there must be a good reason for our suffering."  Ragetti is now very concerned for being holy ever since he had a chance at dying.  What better reason than that you are going to save the best captain ever?  Pintel, however, remains quite a pessimist.  Pintel: "Why don't that obeah woman bring Jack back the same way she brought back Barbossa?"  
Tia Delma does not appreciate this kind of talk about her.  Tia Delma: "Because Barbossa was only dead.  Jack Sparrow is taken, body and soul, to a place not of death, but punishment.  The worst fate a person can bring upon himself stretching on forever.  That's what awaits at Davy Jones' Locker."  Poor Jack!  Ragetti sees my point about needing to rescue Jack.  Ragetti: "Yeah.  I knew there was a good reason."  Meanwhile, Will is having trouble using the maps to navigate them to the Locker.  It probably doesn't help his mood that his clothes and hair is frozen.  Will: "Nothing here is set.  These can't be as accurate as modern charts."  Tai Hung: "No.  But it leads to more places."  The glass is always half full.  Inspired by Tai Hung's optimism, Will continues to study the charts, turning them in every direction.  Will reads the charts alound: "Over the edge.  Over again.  Sunrise sets.  Flash of green."  
After constantly rereading the strange messages of the charts, Will takes them to Barbossa.  Will: "Do you care to interpret, Captain Barbossa?"  For some reason there is quite the edge in his voice.  As if Barbossa purposely made the charts difficult for Will to understand.  Barbossa: "Ever gazed upon the green flash, Master Gibbs?"  Gibbs: "I reckon I seen my fair share.  Happens on rare occasion.  The last glimpse of sunset, a green flash shoots up into the sky.  Some go their whole lives without ever seeing it.  Some claim to have seen it who ain't.  And some say . . ."  Pintel: "It signals when a soul comes back to this world from the dead!"  Sound familiar?  Barbossa: "Trust me, young Master Turner.  It's not getting to the land of the dead that's the problem.  It's getting back."  Well doesn't that sound reassuring?

Monday, April 16, 2012

"Rascals, Scoundrels, Villains and Knaves"

Oh my where to begin. Jack Sparrow might be the best pirate ever but he has a pretty amazing crew. Oh and some quirky nemesis'.  So i'm going to list my top 5 favorite crew members and villains. So batten down the hatches its going to be a bumpy ride.

  1. Joshamee Gibbs
Lets face it, Joshamee Gibbs is the most loyal friend on the face of the planet. Even when his captain has some pretty ridiculous plans, he just goes with the flow. And he has saved Jack's life about 100 times! But most importantly he always has a bottle of rum on hand.

2. Hector Barbossa 
 Hector plays both sides of the fence in this post and in most of the movies. Is he friend or foe? Well I think his most hilarious moments take place when he and Jack are fighting over pointless things. But his moment of glory took place when he led Jack's crew to the land of the dead and saved our beloved Jack Sparrow. But he and Jack will always fight for control of the Black Pearl. Even though we all know Jack will win out in the end.
3. Will Turner. 
Will Turner is the son of a former crew member of the Black Pearl.  Jack found him working as a sword maker's apprentice and helped him find his damsel in distress Elizabeth Swann.  At first Will didn't want to hated pirates with a burning passion, but in the end he sacrificed his new life in high English society to follow in his father's footsteps and become a pirate. He is constantly at odds with Jack but they usually figure it out after a nice long sword fight...
 4. James Norrington. 
James was an officer of the Royal British Navy. And searched long and hard for Jack Sparrow and finally captured him, But of course Jack escaped...twice. Well the Navy wasn't so happy about that and relieved him of his position, He ended up in a bar dirty and according to Jack smelling pretty bad. He joined Jack's crew; and eventually fought in one of those legendary sword fights between Jack and Will. He escaped unscathed and stole the Heart of Davy Jones, promptly took it too his former boss Lord Cutler Beckett. Later in life he sacrificed his life for his former fiance Elizabeth Swann. 
5. Elizabeth Swann 
Elizabeth is the daughter of a Governor, and used to be the sworn enemy of all pirates. Until she fell in love with one that is. But she like everyone has faults; one of the most egregious offenses was the attempted  (and partially successful) killing of Jack Sparrow. But then she and the crew saved him. She now leads the life of pirate wife to the master of the sea. But she will never forget that kiss she and Jack shared while she handcuffed him to a poll and left him to be eaten by the kraken. And neither will we...But we still love her.

Monday, April 9, 2012

"Sometimes I Just . . . Improvise"

 Jack and Barbossa are back working for the same side again.  Both are in need of the chalices for the Fountain of Youth and the death of Blackbeard.  Jack, Gibbs, Barbossa, and his crew find the Spanish camp in the middle of the night and make plans to steal the chalices.  Jack has a plan.  Jack: "Stealth over force.  I'll take it from here on account of your condition.  You don't have termites, do you?"  Barbossa disagrees; what does only having one leg have to do with things?  Barbossa: "I appreciate your concern, Jack, but I'll be keeing you company all the same.  Hold here, Lieutenant Commander.  Wait for my signal."
With that the two new allies make their way into the camp.  They swim across the river (which I assume is hard with only one leg) and hide in the forest.  Barbossa catches a glimpse of what they're up against.  Barbossa: "There.  That one.  That be the leader.  Make note of his tent because that's where . . . No, wait.  By God, that must be them right there."  They now know the location of the chalices, so they crawl through the grass to get even closer.  Barbossa, his sword out, is almost stabbing Jack with his sword as they crawl.  Jack: "Your sword smells funny."  Barbossa: "Aye.  Poison from the innards of poisonous toads.  Just a scratch, you're a dead man in minutes."  As you can imagine, Jack does not feel comfortable with a poisonous sword inches from his face.  Jack: "Would you mind pointing it the other way?  I don't like toads."  Barbossa stops crawling and stands up on his one leg.  Jack: "What are you doing?"  Barbossa: "Planning an escape route.  Isn't that how you do it?"  Jack always knows best.  
Jack: "Yes. Or sometimes I just. . . Improvise."  That sounds like a better plan.  Jack sneaks into the tent and steals one chalice as a Spaniard examines the other.  The Spaniard puts the chalice down and looks to get the next, but it's gone.  He looks back to the one he just had, and of course, Barbossa has already taken it. What a good team.  The Spaniard checks under the table, but Barbossa is already poised to knock him out with his cane.  Bye bye.  
Barbossa: "Now what?"  Jack: "We stroll out, slow and steady.  Just like we belong."  At first it seems to work, but they meet a Spanish soldier and all three draw their swords at the same time.  Then more Spaniards come, then more Spaniards come, but Jack finds away to beat them and they make there away to the forest where they find a pleasant suprise.  More Spaniards!  But this time they are all pointing rifles at them.  Gotta love them Spaniards.  The two are tied to some palm trees and left on their own.  Jack: "How's that escape route working?"  Barbossa: "Here's your chance to improvise."  Jack: "I'm attempting it."  Jack gets his hands free but he's still wrapped around the stupid tree.  So he slowly pushes his body upward.  Barbossa just watches in awe.  
Jack makes it to the top of the palm tree, he ties the rope around a coconut.  
He uses this rope/coconut thing to tie a knot around another tree.  This is some serious Tarzan stuff.  Jack somehow pulls the tree towards him, which allows the tree to catapult him through the sky and into another tree.  Well, people flying through the sky and bending trees tends to not go unnoticed.  The Spaniards set out to find the escaped priosner.  With everyone distracted, one of Barbossa's men comes and frees him from the tree.  Meanwhile, Jack starts to drop coconuts onto the soldiers and flies around on a rope, kicking them in the face.
Jack then uses his rope to tie them around the tree instead and leaves them with a courteous bow.  Jack meets Barbossa and his crew as they start to make their way out of Palm Tree Grove.  Barbossa: "I'm sorry about the chalices, Jack, but I've an appointment to keep.  I'll not be going back."  You did all that for nothing?  Good thing Jack Sparrow always saves the day.  Jack: "No need!  Shall we have a drink?"  Good old Jack ahs got the cups.  Barbossa: "We'll drink at the Fountain."  Well where's the fun in that?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

"First To The Finish Then?"

In Shipwreck Cove, Elizabeth, the newly elected king of the Brethren Court, and Jack talk the nine pirate lords into declaring war against the East India Trading Company and the Flying Dutchman.  All the pirates take their places on the ship and prepare for battle.  However, things don't really go as planned when the Royal Navy ships begin to appear in the horizon.  At first it seems as though there is only one ship and the Brethren Court is sure to win, however, the ships keep multiplying until they fill the horizon, clearly out numbering the Brethren's forces.  And it being his idea to fight, every member of every crew angrily looks at Captain Jack.  

Jack: "Parley?"  Desperately, King Elizabeth takes Barbossa and Jack to a little meeting on shore to discuss their plans.  They also meet Davy Jones, Lord Beckett, and Will Turner, who lead the Navy to the Cove.  You can tell by the intense rock music playing as the two parties meet that this is not just any parley.  Barbossa, upon seeing Will with Beckett quickly blames him: "You be the cur that led these wolves to our door."  
Beckett: "Don't blame Turner.  He was merely the tool of your betrayal.  If you wish to see its grand architect, look to your left."  Barbossa looks to Elizabeth; Elizabeth looks to Jack; Jack looks to the sand.  I wonder who it could be.  Jack: "My hands are clean in this. Figuratively."  Will: "My actions were my own and to my own purpose.  Jack had nothing to do with it."  Jack likes this idea: "Well spoke.  Listen to the tool."  Then of course, Elizabeth being king now thinks what she says matters.  Elizabeth: "Will, I've been aboard the Dutchman.  I understand the burden you bear, but I fear that cause is lost."  She wants him to give up trying to save his father so he can go live happily ever after with her.  WELL TOO BAD!  Will: "No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it."  Jack finds this amusing.  Beckett: "If Turner wasn't acting on your behalf, then how did he come to give me this?"  That awkward moment when Beckett pulls out Jack's compass.  
Technically, that's all Becket and Will agreed on back in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest but I don't think Beckett's going to be letting anyone go any time soon.  Barbossa gives Jack a pretty hurtful look.  Beckett: "You made a deal with me, Jack, to deliver the pirates.  And here they are.  Don't be bashful.  Step up.  Claim your reward."  And all the secrets are revealed.  Jones: "Your debt to me is still to be satifisfied.  One hundred years in servitude aboard the Dutchman.  As a start."  As fun as the sounds, Jack isn't all that thrilled about this idea.  Jack: "That debt was paid, mate.  With some help [motions to Elizabeth]."  Everyone is a betrayer.  Jones doesn't buy this: "You escaped."  Jack: "Technically. . ."  
Elizabeth: "I propose an exchange."  Jack seems relieved, thinking Elizabeth is about to save his butt.  Elizabeth: "Will leaves with us . . . and you can take Jack."  Everyone on Beckett's side is satisfied with this idea, but Jack and Barbossa on the other hand aren't as excited.  Barbossa wants too keep Jack to release Calypso and Jack is just scared of Davy Jones.  Will: "Done."  It's not really you're place to make the agreement, but good to know we have your support, Will.  Jack: "Undone!"  Beckett: "Done."  Barbossa: "Jack's one of the nine pirate lords.  You have no right."   Elizabeth: "King."  Well that plan backfired.  Elizabeth likes power.  Jack bows mockingly to her: "As you command, your nibs."    Barbossa takes out his sword and cuts off Jack's piece of eight to free Calypso.  "Blackguard!" We have no idea why Barbossa screams this.  What does it mean?  Barbossa: "If ye have something to say, I might be saying something as well."  Barbossa reveals that he still plans on releasing the sea goddess from her human bonds.  Jack: "First to the finish, then?"  
Jack and Will trade places.  Let the games begin.  Davy Jones still looks at Jack like he's a meal.  Jones: "Do you fear death?"  Jack: "You've no idea."  Beckett realizes that the Brethren still plan to fight.  Beckett: "Advise your Brethren, you can fight, and all of you will die.  Of you can not fight, in which case only most of you will die."  That sounds really tempting.  Elizabeth: "You murdered my father."  Thank you for sharing that random fact with us.  Beckett: "He chose his own fate."  Elizabeth: "And you have chosen yours.  We will fight. And you will die."  Lovely. Beckett: "So be it."  Elizabeth, Barbossa, and Will slowly start to walk away back to the Brethren.  Will: "King?"  Elizabeth: "Of the Brethren Court.  Courtesy of Jack."  The irony of piracy.  Will: "Maybe he really does know what he's doing."  It's taken you this long to figure it out?