Monday, October 29, 2012

"That was For the Smell"

Will Turner's first mission as a pirate is, of course, to make it to Tortuga, because you're really not a pirate until you've been there.  Tortuga is a lovely little pirate city filled with peace and quite.  HAHA!  Yeah right.  It's just the opposite.  Whenver pirates are involved, it's loud and crowded and barbaric, and everybody is always in a fight.  Jack: "It is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga.  Savvy?  What do you tink?"  I'm not quite so sure if Will agrees with that statement.  Will: "It'll linger."  Jack: "I'll tell you, mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted."  Right on que, a young lady comes storming up.  Jack: "Scarlett!"  And then of course, he gets slapped by dear Scarlett.  Do you feel wanted now?  Because I still want you, Jack!  Jack: "Not sure I deserved that.  Giselle!"  Giselle: "Who was she?" 
 Jack: "What?"  Giselle slaps him also.  Jack: "I may have deserved that."  Well, incase you haven't watched the short PotC clip called Tales of the Code:Wedlocked, which I highly suggest you do, I'll fill you in.  Jack agrees to marry Scarlett, but he also agrees to meet Giselle at the alter too!  Scandalous!  But then of course, Jack doesn't show up and these two girls are left alone together, angry at the other but most importantly angry at Jack.  So when Giselle asks who Scarlett was, she actually knows.  They probably plotted over his arrival.  Also part of their revenge was to steal some screw off his dinghy, which explains why we first see Captain Jack Sparrow in a flooded row boat.  
But Jack isn't only reunitd with past women in Tortuga, he meets up with another very important character lying in a pig sty: Mr. Joshamee Gibbs!  And what better a reunion than to dump water on him while he's sleeping.  Gibbs: "Curse you for breathing, you slack-jawed idiot!"  He waves his kife around until he realizes who it is.  Gibbs: "Mother's love!  Jack! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'.  It's bad luck."  Pirates sure are superstitious.  Jack: "Ah.  Fortunately, I know how to counter it.  The mane who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink.  The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a propostion from the man who did the waking."  
Rum seems to make everything better.  Meanwhile, Will is just standing there awkwardly.  Gibbs: "Aye.  That'll about do it."  Jack helps Gibbs up, and then Will dumps another bucket of water on him.  Great first impressions.  Gibbs: "Blast!  I'm already awake!"  Will: "That was for the smell."  Oh, William, so funny, so cute.  So to the bar they go!  As expected, there are a ton of drunk people fighting all round the bar.  Jack: "Keep a sharp eye."  He leaves Will as a look out and goes to have a private conversation with Gibbs.  Gibbs: "Now, what's the nature of this venture of your'n?"  Jack: "I'm going after the Black Pearl.  I know where it's going to be, and I'm gonna take it."  
Gibbs is so shocked that he almost coughs up his drink.  Gibbs: "Jack, it's a fool's errand.  You know better than me the tales of the Black Pearl."  But Jack isn't afraid of anything!  Jack: "That's why I know what Barbossa is up to.  All I need is a crew."  Gibbs: "I hear Captain Barbossa's not a man to suffer fools, nor strike a bargain with one."  Geez.  Why the negativity?  Jack: "Well I say it's a good thing I'm not a fool then, aye?"  Gibbs: "Prove me wrong.  What makes you think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"   Jack: "Let's just say it's a matter of leverage.  Aye?"  Leverage.  That sure is used a lot throughout the series.  Gibbbs: "Huh?"  Jack tilts his head towards Will, who is standing in the doorway.  Gibbs doesn't get the message.  
Jack continues to point with his head, rather strangely.  It's actually really funny to watch him do that while it's muted.  Finally, Gibbs looks over at Will, who is getting hit on by a fat, dirty, drunk woman.  Not really Will's type.  Gibbs: "The kid?"  Jack nods slyly.  Jack: "That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner.   His only child.  Savvy?"  Gibbs eyes light up, as he has finally caught on to the plan.  Of course, we dont' really catch on the plan until later, but that just adds to the suspense!  Gibbs: "Is he now?  Leverage, says you.  I think I feel a change in the wind, says I.  I'll fidn us a crew.  There's bound to be sailors on this rock crazy as you."  Jack: "One can only hope.  Take what you can!"  Gibbs: "Give nothin' back!"  They clang their drinks and and toast.  It's the first of many times when we hear them share that phrase.  It must be good to be reunited again!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

"I Now Pronounce You . . ."

As I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Hurricane Sandy, I thought I might type up another post before she knocks out my power.  And the thought has just occured to me to write a post about a different epic storm that occurred in the Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.  This wasn't exactly a hurricane though, it was a Maelstrom.  Now, the Brethren has reached its point of no return: they've agreed to fight the E.I.T.C. armada and even Davy Jones and have even opened fire on them.  If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly, so the crew of the Black Pearl begin to board the Flying Dutchman and vise versa, swiming across the maelstrom in the middle.  Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann stand read on the deck of the Pearl to attack whatever enemy makes it over.  Barbossa even manages to take down some people while steering the ship.  That takes skill.  
Elizabeth and Will decide to also multi-task.   Will: "Elizabeth.  Elizabeth.  Will you marry me?"  You know that moment when you watch a movie and the two people you've been willing to go out finally kiss?  And you're just so happy and find it the cutest thing in the world?  Yeah, I don't really feel it at this scene.  He finally pops the question while their stabbing freaky "fish people".  They grasp hand for a second, and then return to battle.  Elizabeth: "I don't think now's the best time."  I mean, you're only fighting three people at time.  I think there's time for a marriage.  Will: "Now may be the only time."  It's as though Will knows he's going to cut out his heart momentarily.  The both stab British soldiers in the gut.  How romantic.  This gives them a moment to embrace again.  
Will: "I love you."  Okay, now all the feelings and hormones are starting to kick in.  Of course, they have to kill a few more people first.  Will: "I've made my choice.  What's yours?"  Okay, instead of saying yes or even killing more people, Elizabeth does something even more surprising.  Elizabeth: "Barbossa!"  Umm, what?  Will just gives her this look of complete confusion, like a "I thought you hated him and he freaked you out" kinda look.  And then he gives a look of utter repulsion to Barbossa at the wheel.  Then all becomes clear.  Elizabeth: "Marry us."  So, she wants Barbossa to be both her and Will's husband?  Actually, I think she wants him to perform the ceremony, because as spectacular as Barbossa looks I don't think anyone really wants to marry him.  Barbossa: "I'm a little busy at the moment."  Thank you!  Finally some common sense.  The happy couple gets back to fighting a bit more, but can't stay separated for long.  Will: "Barbossa, NOW!"  Barbossa: "Fine, then."  He doesn't seem to happy to do it though.  He stands up above everybody else and the couple embraces again.  
Barbossa: "Dearly beloved, we be gathered here today . . . To anil your gizzards to the mast, you poxy cur."  Uh, I don't rember that being part of the wedding rights . . . Oh yeah, their in the middle of a war.  Will just gets to the point though.  Will: "Elizabeth Swann, do you take me to be your husband?"  Aw <3  Elizabeth: "I do!"  Will: "Great!"  That's also not what you usually say during a traditional wedding, but I guess this is not your average wedding.  Elizabeth: "Will Turner, do you take me . . . to be your wife . . . in sickness and in health . . . with health being the less likely?"  Actually, your probably more likely to die from being stabbed than a disease because during all those elipsese, their fighting people with one hand and hold their fiance with the other hand.  Meanwhile, Barbossa is intensly fighting five soldiers, even stabbing one between his legs.  Will: "I do." Okay, Will can make even two words some incredibly hot.  Barbossa: "As captain, I now pronounce you . . . You may kiss . . . "  Wait, Barbossa just has to shoot someone in the face and laugh about it.  
The couple tries to kiss but of course, the have better things to do like save their lives.  Barbossa: "You may kiss . . . JUST KISS!"  After their swords touch, their lips finally do too!  And then they keep kissing for quite a while.  We even get a 360 degree shot of it!  Nobody tries to interrupt them then.  Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack the monkey's hearts are even melted by such romance.  That was cute, but now back to the fighting!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

"There's No One to Have the Key"

After Will Turner is finally reunited and whipped by his father, William Turner Sr., they run into more people on the Flying Dutchman in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.  Father Turner tells little Turner that he needs to get off the cursed ship.  Will: "Not until I find this.  The key."  He pulls out the super handy dandy drawing of a key, and of course the creepy music is played.  This magical word even awakens this old member of the crew, Wyvern, who has now become part of the ship wall.  Part of the ship, part of the crew!  Wyvern: "The key."  He pulls himself out of the wall, his brain just barely making int out.  How much more weird can Will take in one day?  I guess we'll find out.  Wyvern: "The dead man's chest."  Gee, that sounds familiar.  Will: "What do you know of this?"  Wyvern: "Open the chest with the key, and stab the heart. . . No, don't stab the heart.  The Dutchman needs a living heart or there'll be no captain, and if there's on captain, there's no one to have the key."  Well, if there were no captain and no heart, there wouldn't be a need to have the key.  But if it weren't so confusing, then it wouldn't be so awesome!  
Will: "So the captain has the key?"  Sudden Wyvern gets all freaked out and scared.  He starts to re merge with the wall.  Will: "Where is the key?"  Wyvern: "Hidden."  Will: "Where is the chest?"  As Jack already explained, if they don't have the key, then there's not point in even trying to find the chest.  Jack: "We don't have the key.  WE can't open whatever it is that we don't have that it unlocks.  SO what purpose would we be serving finding whatever need be unlock, which we don't have.  Without first having found the key what unlocks it?"  But I guess Will wasn't present at tha hillarious scene so he doesn't really understand it all.  Wyvern: "Hidden."  And with that, Wyvern completely sinks back into the wall and freezes up again.  Oh, so I guess even if Jack had the key, they still haven't got a clue where the chest is.  That is, of course, where Elizabeth comes into play and leads them to the Isla de Cruces, where the chest is.  But will takes care of acquiring the key.  
So to accomplish this, he first challenges Davy Jones to a game of dice.  Now, in a deleted scene, which you should really try to watch, Will bets his own sole for a chance of winning freedom for his father.  So if Will were to win, he and his father could go free.  But if he looses, he and his father would have to do all their bonding on the Flying Dutchman.  Not exactly that appealing.  But luckily for Will, he winds and his father can go free!  This really should be more a celebratory scene, but Will's not done yet.  That's everything that happens in the deleted scene.  Now, back to what survived the editor's cut.  Will challenges the captain again, waging his own sole again, this time for the key.  Davy Jones pulls out the keys, showing Will what he wants: the location of the key.  But Father Turner is so worried for his son, that he bets his newly received freedom.  And to prevent his son from joining the cursed crew, William Turner Sr. purposefully looses.  
So now everyone is right back to where they started before Will challenged anyone.  Papa Turner is stil stuck on board, and Will is free but has no way of leaving.  But Will does have one very valuable peice of information: the location of the key.  We're all pirates here.  If you can't receive something fairly, you steel it, right?  Will's chance comes when Davy Jones falls asleep playing the organ.  I guess he liked played himself a lullaby on the organ until he just fell asleep?  Well, Jones is quite the heavy sleeper because he doesn't even wake up when Will sticks his hands and sticks through the tentacles to reach the key beneath.  Will even drops something on the key, making on this noice, and Jones doesn't open an eye.  Just a bit oblivious.  But lucky for Will, because now he is free to leave the ship with the actual key and a promise to his father to save him some day.  

Thursday, October 25, 2012

"Lovely, as a matter of fact"

To stick with the theme of disguises and Halloween previously discussed in yesterday's post, I thought It would be fun to make this new post about Princess Amenirdis' disguise as Ayisha.  We begin our story with Ameniridis' trip to Kush, where she finds nothing but desolate ruins.  And things only get worse for the princess from there because the slave hunters show up with their guns.  These weapons really freak Amenirdis out and she can't figure out what is happening.  All she knows is that she has to think fast.  So she and her bodyguard Tarek and the high priest Piye devise a plan of using Amenirdis' magical abilities given to her by the god, Apedemak, to disguise her because who knows what greedy slave hunters might do to a twenty year old princess.  So they change her from a young lady, to an old hag.  They weave the spell into a gray shawl so that no one will know.  Piye: "This should do.  We will center our illusion on it.  While you are wearing it, or even toughing it, you will appear as we envision you in our spell."  Pretty epic.  Tarek: "Give her a squint.  Thin, lank graying hair.  Protruding, snaggled teeth.  Some strategically placed warts . . . hairy ones.  Wrinkled, blotchy skin.  A bit of a hunchto her back, so she can't stand straight.  Make her shorter, so everyone will look down on her.  Make her thin up top, and fat below.  That should do it."  They scheme well.  Sure enough, everybody she meets after that as she's dragged across the continent as a slave is repulsed by her appearance and no one suspects that she's a princess.  Finally, she changes her name to Ayisha, just in case.  
Yay!  But then Cutler Beckett cracks through the spell, well sorta.  She works for him as a sewing woman.  She proves to everyone that she has great ability with cloth, but she acts very solemn and secretive around everyone else.  And most importantly, she doesn't reveal to anyone that she knows English because it's her key to escaping slavery.  Then Cutler Beckett figures out that she's from Kerma, which greatly interests the greedy Director of West African Affairs because he wants to steal the wealth of Kerma and sell all of its people into slavery.  Sounds like the Beckett we're used to, am I right?  But As I shared before, he and Jack Sparrow have become co-workers, as Jack captains Beckett's ship.  So Beckett gives Jack his slave woman to try to get her to tell him the bearings of Kerma in promise that they will share the fortunes of Kerma.  Jack tells Ayisha that he will take her home to freedom of he tells her the location of the island.  Ayisha, however, knows the plans Beckett and Jack devised and keeps her identity hidden.  But of course Jack always figures things out.  
A few weeks into their journey on the Wicked Wench, as she is still sea sick, Jack carries her down below deck.  But in the whole confusion of getting her well again, he accidentally walks off with her shawl, which pretty much blows the whole secret.  Jack: "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to keep your shawl.  Wouldn't flatter me at all I fear.  Here, let me spread it-" Uh-oh.  At this point, Jack doesn't really plan on telling Beckett the bearings to Kerma because he knows Beckett's views on slavery, just an FYI that will be very important later.  Anyways, at that moment Jack realizes that Ayisha is in fact only a third the age she claimed to be and about 10 times prettier, something we know Jack can't ignore.  Jack: "Ah.  Much becomes clear.  Magic.  A bloody powerful illusion, that.  Even Tia Dalma might be impressed.  By Neptune's trident.  You are one pretty girl.  Lovely, as a matter of fact."  And once again, Jack is on his way to get another girl!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

"And it's not a bad look, really."

If you look on your calenders you will see that in a week it will be Halloween. So i thought it would be fun to do a post about my favorite disguises/costumes that have been used by Jack and other characters throughout the series. 

4. Elizabeth Disguised as a Man.  
Elizabeth Swann must really dislike her corset! She has disguised her self as a man to gain access on two different ships. First she stowed away on a Scottish merchant vessel after her fight with Cutler Beckett. She gave the crew quite a scare when she hung her dress out on the ropes; they thought a ghost had surely taken up residence on their boat. When she then lit some gunpowder on fire, the fire spelled out the word Tortuga. They must has gotten the message because we next spot her in her disguise trying to trick Jack and gain passage on his ship, Jack: "Come to join me crew, lad? Welcome aboard." Elizabeth: "I'm here to find the man I love." Jack: "I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea.Well that settles that, Miss Swann. Jack does let her join his crew however, but only because he needs her to find Will, and eventually the heart of Davy Jones. 

3. Angelica Disguised as Jack Sparrow.  
After Jack made his hasty escape from King George's dining room, He stumbled into his a bar called the Captain's Daughter.  He had a  nice chat with his Captain Teague (his father) who had just recently saved his life. It had been brought to Jack's attention that he was being impersonated, lucky for Jack his impersonator was at the Captain's Daughter as well.  Jack went over to the pirate who he had been told knew where the impersonator was, and was directed to a back room.  Upon arrival Jack found his a shorter version of himself awaiting him, They pair quickly engaged in a heated duel around the room but eventually Jack corralled his imposter (who identity he had discovered) against a post and being the ladies man that he was he kissed her. Jack: "Only one person alive knows that move [kisses the Jack impostor]...Always wanted to do that. Hello, Angelica."Angelica: "Hello, Jack. Are you impressed? I think I almost killed you once or twice there." Jack: "I am touched at this most sincerest form of flattery. But why? In a strange turn of events Jack imposter just happened to be a friend from earlier in life.  Angelica told Jack about her poor father's plight, but the room was quickly invaded by redcoats, they fought them off rather well. And eventually escaped through a trap door which led to the river Thames. When they reached shore one of Angelica's crewman shot Jack with a poisoned dart and he was hauled off and press-ganged onto the ship Queen Anne's Revenge.  
2.Jack's Impersonation of Justice Smith. 
 Did you know our beloved pirate had a brief stint in the field of law?  Well however brief it was he did it in style! Rocking a huge wig and dyed beard Jack presided over the hearing of his ever faithful first mate Joshamee Gibbs.  Jack: "Now...what do we have here?"Gibbs; "Jack?" [The Jailor hits Gibbs with a club] Jack: "Not necessary! You were saying?"Gibbs: "Jack...Sparrow is not my name. My name is Joshamee Gibbs."Jack: "Is that so? It says Jack Sparrow here."Gibbs:  "I told 'em, I'm not Jack Sparrow, who I would be happy to identify to the court, if it would help my case."Jack: "I think that it would be a poor defense, unless you want to be bludgeoned again like a harp seal.Jack found a tricky way to sentence Gibbs, so that e could avoid the death penalty. He reunited with Gibbs on the prisoner transport wagon, Jack thought he had paid the driver enough to get them to their destination, but apparently the King paid him more. When Jack got out of the veihicle he was immediately captured and taken away for his a fore mentioned meeting with the King.  
1. Pintel and Ragetti Disguised as Damsels in Distress
Sometimes its tough to be a pirate. For Pintel and Ragetti this was on of those times.  While the rest of their fellow crew mates got to go gallivanting under the water on their way to a fight, they had to dress as woman and distract the Navy men from a small sail boat. The plan didn't exactly work however; while Pintel and Ragetti were arguing their boat drifted into the moonlight and the Navy men saw what they really were, not just men mind you but cursed men. When the light struck them they turned to skeletons. And not very attractive ones at that. 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

"Look sharp now, lads."

You should know by now that Jack hasn't always been a pirate captain. After escaping  the ship he was press-ganged onto by his ex-Bestfriend Christophe De Rapier. He then began to move up the ladder of the EITC and eventually got up to first mate on the EITC ship the Fair Wind.  Unfortunately the captain he sailed under was a real idiot.  While sailing along with a cargo of rum Jack discovered some of his crew members had been sneaking samples of the cargo. "This rum is half gone. WHY is the rum gone? I will TELL you why the rum is gone. This half-empty cask, which as of last night was full of rum bound for England, rum entrusted to this vessel to be carried in her hold until we reach our destination, rum intended to be sold to the taverns and cellars of England, to slake English thirsts is gone because several members of this crew that stands before me, this same crew of misbegotten scurvy sea dogs, crept down into the hold and GUZZLED it!" After punishing them with some with some dunking's Jack and his friend Robby Greene a fellow escapee spotted a ship flying a flag every captain should fear. Robby:"Heaven help us. Either the sun has gotten to me, or I know that vessel." Jack: "You're not seeing things, Robby. It's Venganza, and we're her quarry." Luckily Jack persuaded his crew not to fight , however he wasn't so lucky with Captain Bainbridge. Apparently Bainbridge had been "in his cups" and wasn't thinking clearly. He completely ignored Jack's advice and tried to attack the Captain of the pirate vessel, who just happened to be a woman. That last little fact really ticked off Bainbridge, who was a stickler for tradition and didn't feel woman should sail. Because of his poor health and inebriated state on slight touch from Esmeralda's sword killed the poor Captain. As it turns out Jack and Esmeralda are old friends. They reunited and had a nice private dinner and agreed to a plan; Esmeralda would take some of the cargo to appease her crew, and then Esmeralda's ship sailed would accompany the Fair Wind back to an EITC port in London and then leave Jack to explain the strange circumstances to his new boss. Upon arrival in Calabar Jack cleaned up and then went to visit his boss

 Cutler Beckett had been recently placed in charge of the EITC's office in Calabar, Africa. And when Jack went to visit him he had just finished settling in, not one to hide his wealth Beckett had some of his greatest finds on display.  Jack recognized a few of these pieces from a book he had once read written by a pirate. Cutler was a little skeptical of Jack's story, but he saw promise in Jack so he ignored his inner thoughts, for a while that is. "Generally when EITC employees save the company money, I award them a nice bonus. Say ten pounds. However I suspect that there are things you would much prefer to have rather than a monetary bonus, if I judge your character correctly. So... how would a promotion to captain suit you, as well as a vessel to command?Jack was very please with this proposition until Cutler let on that the ship Jack would be captaining was a slave ship. Jack immediately refused the position.  A tad disappointed Cutler tried a new tactic; He offered Jack a ship he could make his own and sail with less offensive cargo. Jack accepted. If only he knew how many adventures he would have with his new ship the Wicked Wench...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

"What's your play, Jack?"

I was thinking that we've been missing a good Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides post for a while now.  So I've decided to fill in this void.  It's the most recenet of the films and sadly may stick this way for quite a while.  Yes, it is true they are working on a script for the next movie of the series, but unfortunately no title or date has been announced.  So for the time being, I say we just enjoy our latest movie.  I like On Stranger Tides because it brings in a lot of new characters, like Angelica and Syrena but it also goes back to the classic relationships between the pirates that every body loves.  For example, we have Gibbs and Jack.  Jack is always shouting orders at his first mate, and Gibbs is happily obeying them.  Quite the healthy relationship.  But Gibbs is also taking orders Hector Barbossa.  And Barbossa and Jack are off to their usual relationship, constantly arguing with eachother while still working together as allies.  
So let's do a quick overview of how all these relationships work together to form this awesome movie.  Well Gibbs gets thrown under the bus by Jack when he gets arrested for being Jack, but Jack figures this dilemna out (momentarily) by playing the judge in the trial.  So he and Gibbs set off together where they are hoping to get out to see, but instead the end up in the King's Palace.  This is where Gibbs gets stuck taking orders from Barbossa, who is apparently the new privateer.  How fun.  Barbossa demands that Gibbs tell give him the map to the Fountain of Youth or face the gallows.  
Gibbs has clearly been around Jack too long and thinks of a pretty smart way to get himself out of this predicament: he quickly burns the maps.  Such a bummer.  The crew sailed all the way to Singapore to steal those in the last movie!  Will was caught in the action and almost got executed.  Well, Singapore isn't getting them back any time soon because now their gone.  The only hope is to bring Gibbs along on the adventure.  Since Gibbs is leading England to the Fountain and Jack is leading Blackbeard to the Fountain, they all kinda end up together in the end.  
Actually, Barbossa and Jack meet before hand where they become frenemies in attempt to get the chalices from the dead body of Ponce de Leon. But since the Spanish already took the chalices from the Santiago the two pirates must stick together to steal the chalices from them instead.  They do manage to get the cups, but are unfortunately caught before they can escape.  So instead they get themselves died to a tree.  But of course, Jack comes up with some ill-conceived plan that involves coconuts, rope, and probably a bit of rum.  Somehow it all comes together and he and Barbossa's men bust out of the Spanish camp with the chalices. 
 Pretty impressive.  Jack then sets Gibbs free with his compass in hopes that Gibbs can find what he truly wants.  The climax of the movie comes when they've all reached the Fountain of Youth and a fight breaks out between just about everybody.  It results in the Destruction of the Fountain, the murder of Blackbeard by Barbossa, the miraculous survival of Angelica, and the love between Philip and Syrena.  Gibbs uses this compass to find the Black Pearl which has been all shrunken and bottled and placed on Blackbeard's ship.  Gibbs also bring it upon himself to steal all the other shurken ships.  The only problem is that they haven't got a clue of how to un-bottle the Pearl.  Actually, Jack does have a clue, and it's a rather strange one really.  But knowing Jack it will probably work out.  So with that, Jack gives Gibbs another order: to find a goat.  It's amazing how much Gibbs is willing to put up with for Jack, but then again, what wouldn't you do to be Captain Jack Sparrow's right hand man?

Monday, October 15, 2012

"I hate that monkey!"

Look to the right.  What do you see?  Our awesome new poll!  So go click on your favorite Pirates of the Caribbean pet.  And if you want to share with us why, then please comment below!  In the meantime, I'm going to try to influence your vote by sharing my favorite and why.  
4) The Kraken
I have a few problems with Davy Jones disgusting sea pet.  First of all, he ate Captain Jack Sparrow, which would obviously annoy any sensible person.  I mean, I know Jack is awesome and all, but please don't devour him.  Although, it is pretty cool how the Kraken can eat a whole ship without even coming above the water.  But not so cool for the sailors, I suppose.  The jokes on the Kraken though, because in the end, Jack survives, as does the Pearl and its the awful sea monster that ends up laying dead and decaying on a beach while Pintel and Ragetti make plans to serve him up as a Souviner
3) Cotton's Parrot
Cotton joins Jack Sparrow's crew at the beginning of The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl when Gibbs rounds up a crew for Jack and sticks around though the next three movies, always remaining loyal to Jack.  At least, we think so because he's never said otherwise.  Of course, that's because he doesn't have a tongue (got it chopped out for leaking a secret round Tortuga).  But instead of using sign language, he trains his parrot to talk for him.  So when Jack asks Cotton to join his crew, he has to assume that "Wind in the sails" translates to "yes".  He says a lot of other pirate-y phrases like "Dead men tell no tales" and "walk the plank".  I totally would love to have a pirate parrot.
2) Prison Dog
It seems like every young adventerous boy grows up with a loving dog!  Well, Jack Sparrow is no exception.  Raised by the Keeper of the Code, Jack grew pretty fond of the scruffy dog who kept track of the keys.  But this dog seems to make quite a few appearances outside of Jack's childhood.  He's the prison dog at Fort Charles Prison in Port Royal, Jamaica, where Jack runs into him again and calls him some very not nice things.  But then Pintel and Ragetti bust out of that jail with the help of the dog and take him to the Isla de Pelegostos.  The canibals there decide the dog is a god (maybe because the two words are eachother backwards!), so they start to worship him.  Just when we think we've seen the last of him, he returns back to his original home!  He's at Shipwreck Cove, guarding the keys of the Pirate Code for Captain Teague again.  This is just mind boggling to the silly pirates (then again, so is everything else).  So is it just the same dog, over and over again who is just transported around the world by sea turtles or is it just that all pirates love a dog like him?  The world will never know . . .
1) Jack the Monkey
I don't mean to be insulting to our lovely Captain Jack Sparrow, but I do love this little undead monkey.  Actually, I more love how much everybody hates him.  He pretty much runs around the deck doing Barbossa's will in the first movie.  But once Barbossa is dead, Jack the monkey is free to roam the Pearl being an abnoxious little pest.  Jack however, loves to shoot the undead monkey, which has got to be fun.  They decide to get rid of him by locking him in a cage and giving him to Tia Dalma.  But of course, she just lets him out the second she gets him.  Just a little counterproductive.  And then Hector Barbossa comes back to life and he and his precious little monkey sidekick make more trouble for Jack and the crew.  But wait, there's more!  That little monkey finally gets what he deserves when Blackbeard shrinks the little pest into a bottle, where his is trapped until Gibbs and Jack can find a goat.  Hmmm, hopefully there will be another pet in the next movie!  Baaaaaaaa!

Friday, October 12, 2012

"Dying is the day worth living for."

Now that Pirate King Elizabeth Swann has mobilized the Brethren Court with her beautiful speech, she's ready to take on Beckett and his men.  All the while, Calypso is making a great big storm in the sky complete with lightning and thunder.  And like any rational people would do, the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman chage head first into the danderous storm.  Gibbs is the first to annouce the ovious: "Maelstrom!"  Now incase you don't know what a maelstrom is, as I did not at first.  It is a huge whirlpool.  So this giant spinnig whole kinda freaks out Elizabeth (who is still on the Black Pearl rather than her own ship).  So she looks to the great Hector Barbossa for help, who is strangely just staring at his hand.  Elizabeth: "Captain Barbossa! We need you at the helm."  
Barbossa glares at the female pirate for a little while, and eventually relents.  Barbossa: "Aye, that be true."  Such humility amoung pirates.  So he stomps over to the wheel, pushing Cotton aside in the process.  Barbossa: "Brace up yards, you cack-handed deck apes.  Dying is the day worth living for!"  Wise words by Captain Hector Barbossa, Pirate Lord of the Caspain Sea.  So finally under good hands, (although not Jack's because he's been locked up on the Dutchman thanks to a certain someone) the Pearl continues onward.  Meanwhile, on the Dutchman, everyone is freaking out about the giant whole in the middle of the sea with lightning constantly striking it, well everyone except Davy Jones, who seems to think it's no concern to him.  Yolo!  (Sorry, I had to.)  It's during this time that Will and Elizabeth prove to everyone how demanding and bossy they are together.  Boy do I feel for William Turner III.  
Will: "Take us out or they'll overbear us."  Barbossa: "Nay.  Further in.  We'll cut across to faster waters."  Elizabeth: "Prepare to broadside!"  Gibbs: "Captain the guns.  Bear a hand."  Will: "Muster your courage, men.  At the ready."  Seriously, this is one of my favorite scenes of the whole series (which explaisn the many posts on it!).  It's just so epic and intense!  You've got the rain and the screaming and the engergy and the music!  Gibbs: "Batten down the hatches!  Stand to your guns.  Midship cannoneers, sight the masts."  Gibbs is running around the whole ship, rightfully giving orders to the frantic crew, unlike another couple I know . . .  And finally, know that the whole crew is loaded, the firing begins.  Now, if anyone on earth did not notice that they were meant to fire, they really must have been out of it, because first Barbossa yells: "FIRE!"  
Then, Elizabeth: "FIRE!"  Then Gibbs: "Fire!  Fire! Fire all!"  And then over to the other side.  Davy Jones: "Fire!"  Now back the Pearl.  Will: "Fire!"  Can we say it a few more times maybe?  Gibbs: "Come on, men."  Joshamee Gibbs, a man of great encouragement.  Barbossa: "It be too late to alter course now, mateys."  Thank you Captain obvious.  Why are the only things that ever come out of Hector Barbossa's mouth either extremely obious or extrememly hard to follow.  I can speak Jack, not always Barbossa though.  And then of course, this nonsense is followed by his constant cackling.  Not to mention, no one is even listening.  But he make his point clear, Elizabeth has lead the Brethren Court to the point of no return.