Saturday, December 31, 2011

"The Black Pearl In A Bottle"

In Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Jack has again lost the Black Pearl.  I don't really understand how he can keep loosing something as big and grand as a ship.  Jack: "What has become of my beloved Pearl?"  Barbossa: "I lost the Pearl as I lost my leg."  Jack: "Lost the Pearl?" Barbossa: "Aye.  I defended her mighty enough but she sunk nonetheless." Jack then charges at his frenemy, stomping over the table and knocking over food.  Some of the British soldiers have to hold him back.  Jack: "If that ship should be sunk properly, you should be sunk with it."  Some captain you are Barbossa.  Of course, Jack can't really talk because when the Kraken attacks the Pearl in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Jack rows away from his ship.

Aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge, Angelica takes Jack to a secret part of the ship.  Angelica: "He Keeps each ship as a prize. You help me, and I promise you your pick, though I think I know the one you will choose."  Jack: "The Black Pearl in a Bottle? Why is the Black Pearl in a bottle?  He (the monkey) is even more annoying in miniature."

Jack's question is answered a few scenes later, as he's camping out with Barbossa, captured by the Spaniards and tied a a palm tree.  But being tied to a tree isn't too bad when you've got rum!  Jack: "Oh, you've got a knife!  That's very good." Barbossa unscrews his fake leg, and says: "Better."  He then takes a nice long sip of rum.  Rum beats knife any day.  What could be better than rum?  Jack: "I want one of those."  Barbossa hands him some.  Barbossa: "You weren't there that night."  Jack: "When the Pearl was lost?" Barbossa: 
"Taken, not lost. We were off the coast of Hispaniola when we came under attack. No provocation or warning or parley.  We were peppered with cannon fire.  And then the sea beneath the Pearl began to roil.  The Pearl was pitching a yawing violently.  Every plank every rail, every spar at once began to creak.  The rigging had come to life.  Our own ship turned against us, tangling the crew, wrapping around them like snakes.  And wrapping around me leg, but me arms were free and my sword was to hand.  I am the master of me ship, not Blackbeard.  I am the master of my fate, not Blackbeard.  So I did what I needed done.  I survived."  Cutting off your own leg is a little morbid, but at least it gives you a handy place to store your rum!

Monday, December 26, 2011

"How About an Apple?"

While dining with Captain Barbossa on the Black Pearl in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Elizabeth shoves her face with chicken, and just about everything in her sight...
Except for the apple, which apparently disgusts her.  It looks like she's worried the apple will eat her, instead of her eating the apple.
But this really shocks Jack, the monkey, who is somewhat hurt deeply.  HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE A NICE JUICY APPLE?  Stupid Elizabeth.  

Will and Elizabeth are truly the perfect couple because they both have abnormal eating habits.  Will prefers metal...

Jack and Barbossa have a mutual love for apples though.  It makes them very happy.

People say that eating an apple is equivalent to brushing your teeth, but I guess Barbossa proved that one wrong.

Jack: "We are very much alike, you and I, I and you, us."
Elizabeth: "Except for a sense of honor, and decency, and a moral center, and personal hygiene."  Elizabeth is not digging the apples or anyone who consumes them at all!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

"I Can't Swim"

Murtogg: "This dock is off-limits to civilians."
Jack: "I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.  Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?" 
Murtogg: "Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians."
Jack: "It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really." 
Murtogg:  "Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed." 
Jack:  "I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl."
Mullroy: "Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor."
Murtogg: "The Black Pearl is a real ship."
Mullroy: "No, it's not."
Murtogg: "Yes it is, I've seen it. "
Mullroy: "You've seen it?"
Murtogg: "Yes."
Mullroy: "You haven't seen it."
Murtogg: "Yes, I have."
Mullroy: "You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?"
Murtogg: "No."
Mullroy: "No."
Murtogg: "But I have seen a ship with black sails."
Mullroy: "Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?"
Murtogg: "No."

Murtogg and Mullroy are members of the British Royal Navy under Commodore James Norrington.  I'm not sure who on earth would want these idiots working for them, but they are a good source of entertainment.  Jack sparrow, seems to get the best of their dispute about the best ship, as he sneaks by them unoticed.  Jack does have a way with tricking people and they do have a way with being stupid.  I'm also really confused on why Mullroy is a marine when he admits to not being able to swim...  Jack Sparrow: "Will you be saving her then?"  Mullroy: "I can't swim." Jack Sparrow: "Pride of the King's navy you are. Do not lose these."
They are for some reason trusted with important jobs, such as guarding the hearts of Davy Jones, keeping patrol of the harbor, and fighting in the final scene of the first movie.  Murtogg: "What are we doing here?"  Mullroy: "The pirates come out, unprepared and unawares. We catch 'em in a crossfire... send 'em down to see Old Hob." Murtogg: "I know *why* we're here. I mean, why aren't we doin' what - what Mr. Sparrow said? With the cannons and all?" Norrington: "Because it was Mr. Sparrow who said it."  Murtogg: "You don't think 'e was tellin' the truth?"

Monday, December 12, 2011

"I chased a man across the Seven Seas."

While searching for a crew Jack and Will run into and old friend of theirs. (Jack Dashes away to hide of course)Ex-Commodore Jame Norrington. "James Norrington, what has the world done to you?" well lets see...  When one goes to delivers a prisoner to be hung it is customary for said prisoner to be hung! But Jack escaped(surprise surprise) with the help of his trusty crew of course. And because of this Norrington is punished, and if that wasn't enough his Fiance Elizabeth Swann. But He found Jack again and his soldier instincts kick in (even though he was thoroughly inebriated) And he decides to do a very stupid thing: Start a fight in a bar full of drunk pirates. Bad move. When he awakes he has a wicked hangover and decides to join Jack's crew.(But Jack has something to say about Norrington first,"You smell funny " Bahahaha. Jack is SO rude! But we all know he never means it right?)  Meanwhile James has started  plotting to thwart Jack some how, some way.....This plotting take some time to come into action but he does succeed in he end. He stole the Heart of Davy Jones from Jack while Jack was other wise occupied. "Lord Beckett desires the contents of that chest. I deliver it, I get my life back.""Ah. The dark side of ambition.""Oh, I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption."―James Norrington and Jack Sparrow."      And caused quite the embaresment to our dear pirate. Norrington took the heart to the one person who could give him his former life back; Lord Cutler Beckett.  Beckett was greatly pleased with this turn of event sand rewarded Norrington for his deed."I take it I've won commission as a privateer.""Oh, I think...better. Reinstatement to your former rank and status, all rights and privileges attendant. And I think a promotion is due, as well. Do you agree, Admiral Norrington?"―James Norrington and Lord Cutler Beckett. But thats not where His story ends. He has some life saving to do still.
  As a Guard on board Davy's ship (controlled by Lord Beckett of course)  He caught some run away captives. One of these captives was his long lost love Elizabeth Swann(soon to be Turner)"Our destinies have been entwined Elizabeth, but never joined." And he made he decision to help them escape and he paid for that decision with his life.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

"A Dress Or Nothing"

Jack: "Come to join my crew? Welcome aboard!" Elizabeth: "I've come to find the man I love." Jack: "I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea." Elizabeth: "Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow." Jack:"Elizabeth?  Hide the rum.  You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all.  It should be a dress or nothing.  I happen to have no dress in my cabin." 
In this scene of The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chess,  Elizabeth finds Jack boarding up his ship in the lovely port of Tortuga.  Elizabeth, who is disguised in men's clothing, sneaks up on him.  Jack, realizing that it's her, quickly hides all his alcohol, remembering that last time they drank together, Elizabeth burned all the wonderful rum.  
Pretty elizabeth
Then of course, he has to hit on her, as she's looking for her fiance.  

Pretty Elizabeth vs. Manly Elizabeth...

 Well, clearly Jack prefers pretty Elizabeth or inappropriate Elizabeth, and doesn't have a problem with showing it.  Of course, he learns better later in the movie when Elizabeth tries to kill him while kissing him.  

Manly Elizabeth
Realizing that Elizabeth is serious and wants to find Will, he completely lies to her about how Will got into danger.  "Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate series of circumstances that have nothing to do whatsoever with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew."  But Jack is allowed to lie, because he's just that cool right?  When James Norrington, Elizabeth's previous fiance,  objects to Jack's lie, Jack becomes a five year old.  "You smell funny."

 I don't think anyone in this scene really appreciates how amazing it is to be in Captain Jack Sparrow's presence.  

Saturday, December 10, 2011

"Thank You Commodore"

Locked in his little cell at Port Royal, Captain Jack Sparrow makes an agreement to the lovely Will Turner.  "Well Mr. Turner, I’ve changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your bonnie lass. Do we have an accord?"  
And so their adventure begins, all to save the little "bonnie lass", Elizabeth, from the cursed ship. Jack: "How far are you willing to go to save her?"  Will: "I'd die for her."  Jack: "Oh good, no worries then." First though, they must get a ship.  

Will: "This is either madness or brilliant."  Jack: "It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide."  
     They hide under a row boat under water and swim/walk up to the ship and climb aboard.  Sailor: "This ship cannot be crewed by two men.   You'll never make it out of the bay."  Jack: "Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.  Savvy?"  Once their on the ship, they kick them members off, alerting Norrington.  Norrington leads his men to take their ship and climb aboard the Dauntless, the ship currently hijacked by Jack and Will.  While everyone is searching the Dauntless for them, Jack and Will hop on board the other ship, the Interceptor.  

      Angered that Jack has his ship, Norrington commands his men to pull out their guns and cannons and attack the ship.  "I'd rather see her at the bottom of the ocean, than in the hands of a pirate."  But of course, Jack thinks of everything, so he disabled the rudder chain, causing the ship to continue in the wrong direction and crash into the row boat holding more men.   "Thank you Commodore for getting us ready to make way!  We'd have had a hard time by doing it by ourselves!" -Jack

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Black Spot.

After aquiring a crew Jack Sparrow encounters a problem; his "magic" compass can't tell what he wants. So he and crew set sail with no heading. While at sea Jack is visited by Bootstrap Bill Turner(Will's Father) . And he has a message for Jack from Davy Jones. "You have a debt to pay. You owe Davy Jones your soul. That was the agreement. Time's up. You're a marked man, Jack Sparrow.""Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?""I already told you, Jack. Your time is up. It comes now, drawn with ravenous hunger to the man what bears...the Black Spot.
Apperantly after this Jack starts acting a litle weird, ordering his crew to keep the boat in the shallows and such."Have you noticed lately, the captain seems to be acting a bit strange…er?" "Setting sail without knowing his own heading. Something's got Jack vexed, and mark my words, what bodes ill for Jack Sparrow bodes ill for us all."
Now that Jack knows he has a large ravenous beast coming after him he has to come up with a plan, and fast! Of course he can't sacrifice his own life to save his crew from the kraken so he sells Will to Davy Jones to settle his dept. However, Davy doesnt accept that. "You have a debt to pay. You owe Davy Jones your soul. That was the agreement. Time's up. You're a marked man, Jack Sparrow."  And so the beast is sent out again. And this time he wont be stopped. 
Jack and his crew fought valiantly  against the beast managing to scare it off for a time, but when he returned they were forced to make a decision.  They chose to abandon their ship The Black Pearl.  But No everyone agreed.  And she forced her opinion on Jack in the form of a kiss. After said kiss she handcuffed him to the mast of the ship and left him for dead to save herself and the crew, mainly Will though. But wait Jack manages to escape the handcuffs but not in time to flee from the beast. however he does get his sword out and kills the beast while being "eaten".  
Of course he isnt really dead. Just half dead iving with 20 of himselves on his ship in the middle of the desert. He tried valiantly to escape but he cant do it alone. Any good captain needs a crew. And this captain's crew comes to his rescue.....eventually.