Thursday, March 29, 2012

"Where Is The Sense?"

In Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stanger Tides we get to meet some new characters that are a bit different from the usual. Can you guess what's different about them? If you said they're not Btitish than you were correct. In fact they are Spanish. While sailing to the Fountain of Youth, Barbossa and his crew run into some Spanish ships captained by a man we know as, "The Spaniard!" But they don't start shooting at each other like we all hoped, instead they just keep sailing to the Fountain. However they make up for they're lack of violence later in the movie when Blackbeard and his crew, Barbossa and his crew, and of course Jack Sparrow the one and only meet at the Fountain of Youth. 
Of course Barbossa is not so happy about how Blackbeard made him lose his leg so his crew and Blackbeard's crew are about to kill echother but Jack has an idea.(and we all know how good those are) Jack: "Whoa whoa, Hang on a minute. I just. . . Ijust need to understand something. Right so you will fight against them[ indicating Barbossa's crew] they will fight against you. [indicates Blacknbeard's crew]  All on the account of him[ indicates Barbossa] wanting to kill him? [indicates Blackbeard] Where is the sense? Exactly.  I say, let them fight each other while we lay back, watch, have a drink, place some wagers! Eh?" It looks as if everyone has been convinced but then Barbossa ruins it and tells his crew to attack which of course they do. 
Jack, himself finds himself in a stand off with Angelica and Scrum as they all fight for the chalices and the tear.  (Speaking of which, Philip Swift gets stabbed but runs away to his love.) Angelica: "Scrum, the chalacies and the tear!  Follow!" But while Scrum is trying to reach Angelica at the magical waters, Jack intercepts it.  Jack: "Hand it over.  The tear.  There's a good lad."  Scrum: "I"m more afraid of her than I am of you."  Ouch.  Jack, of course, gets his way with the tear by kicking Scrum's butt in a sword fight.  But then he has to deal with Angelica.  Angelica: "Hand it over.  There's a good lad."  Scrum decides that this is a good time to also join in again.  Jack: "The chalices, if you please."  Angelica: "Sorry Jack.  I told you, I need years.  
And now, yours will do."  Jack, who isn't quite fond of the idea of selling his life over to an evil dude with an abnormally large black beard.  So he uses his sword to gain control of the chalices, but looses the tear.  Oops.  Then he gets the tear again, excepet he looses the chalices.  It's like rock paper scissors!  You change your move because you think they will stay the same, but they change too!  The chalices are then knocked away from all of them onto the grass.  
But while everyone is killing eachother, the sneaky Spaniards sneak in, lead dy "the Spaniard". Letting a whole other army surround you while you ignorantly duel is probably not Blackbeard and Barbossa's smartest move.  In desparation, a British soldier holds up the flag and proclaims, "This land is hereby forever claimed in the glorious name of His Majesty King George."  Then he gets shot by the super hot Spaniard, "Someone make note of that man's bravery."  Jack, who got the chalices, quickly gives them to Angelica.  The Spaniard goes to Angelica. Spaniard: "Senorita, the chalices, por favor." When she doesn't hand them over the spaniard orders his men to take them from her. The Spaniard: "Only God can grant eternal life, not this pagan water." He then drops the chalices and stomps on them.  (Those are some strong boots).  
Spaniard to Blackbeard: "You are a fool.  You seek in this place what only faith can provide."  You tell him!  Too bad Philip already left, they could have some nice conversations. While Blackbeard is distracted Barbossa stabs him. But everybody is either destoying the temple or retreating with Barbossa to the Queen Anne's Revenge.  And there goes the Fountain of Youth.  It's not like it was that important or anything.  As if they all spent weeks sailing there for it. . .

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