Thursday, May 24, 2012

"Aha! Dead End!"

Captain Jack Sparrow is incredible. He defeated Davy Jones, the E.I.T.C. and lifted the curse of the Aztec gold. One of his latest feat was finding the fountain of youth. While on a quest from Blackbeard to get the silver chalices Jack runs into Barbossa, also looking for the fountain of youth. Jack learns that Barbossa is out to get Blackbeard and Captain Jack decides to help by assisting him in stealing the chalices from the Spanish. After that, Jack goes to get Mr. Beard and lead him to Barbossa at the Fountain. But Jack seems to have trouble guiding them exactly to the Fountain.  Jack: "I could've sworn it was somewhere right around here." 
Luckily he is reminded of it's location when he sees the drops of water that apparently are too cool to obey the laws of gravity.  Jack holds one of these drops on his finger and it slowly floats to the tip of his finger.  He peers through it and it's like a magnifying glass!  He can see the location of the Fountain!  He leads the crew down the rocky path into a cave with a pool of water.  But have they reached the Fountain yet?  One of the crew members reaches up to touch one of the spikes coming from the ceiling.  Automatically the man next to him drops dead.  So they haven't reached the waters of eternal life yet, just death.  The quartermaster sees this death as a setback.  Quartermaster: "We must not stop."  They travel through the cave and into a dark tunnel.  But that tunnel does not go far.  Jack: "Aha! Dead end."  
It's funny because somebody just died.  Blackbeard does not find this funny though.  Blackbeard: "Dead. End."  Jack is very pleased with his work: "Dead end."  Because that's really similar to what they were searching for.  Angelica: "Jack, I'm starting to think you don't know where you're going."  Jack: "It is not the destination so much as the journey, they say."  Jack Sparrow, the poet.  Jack: "Chalices, if you please."  The zombie dude hands him the cups.    Jack holds them up in the air.  Blackbeard looks at him as though he is crazy.  Jack: "Stand back."  Oh my, this is getting serious.  The whole crew retreats in awe, except for Blackbeard. Jack clings the chalices together and they make a nice dramatic chime that echos through the entire cave.  And guess what happens?  NOTHING!  
Slightly anti-climatic if you ask me.  Jack clings them again to stop the awkward silence.  But this time it's not as dramatic.  This is too much for Angelica to bear.  Angelica: "Jack . . .have you ever, in fact . . . seen with your own eyes . . . the Fountain of Youth?"  Jack: "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question, please?"  I'll take that as a no.  Blackbeard: "Quartermaster."  So when you can't get your way, just pull out a gun, am I right?  Jack: "No no no!"  Jack hides behind the chalices.  The bullet bounces off these cups and elsewhere into the cave.  That was lucky.  They try it again.  Jack: "Wait, wait! Wait."  
So Jack leads them all this way to the bloody Fountain, jumped off a cliff, stole the chalices from the Spaniards, and found the zombie crew again only for them to try to shoot him when he cant break into the Fountain the second they reach it.  Quite ungrateful really. 
 So out of desperation, Jack turns the chalices and reads the engraving aloud: "Aqua de vida."  And guess what happens?  RUMBLING!  All the water makes its way to the top of the cave.  Defying gravity!  A bird flies up and into the water.  Jack seems very pleased with his work.  Jack: "Master Scrum . . . do you mind?"  He hands him the cups, and then climbs on top of him!  Jack sticks his sword into the mystical water and up he goes!  Jack appears in a completely different yet equally mystical setting.  
There is fog all around the ground, creating an eerie feeling.  Say, could this be the blessed Fountain of Youth?  Jack picks up his sword and examines the place.  He's now in a new type of cave: the Fountain of Youth.  Meanwhile, back down in the first cave, Angelica, Blackbeard, and the rest of the crew decide joining Jack through the creepy water seems legit.  So they appear also.  Angelica: "So beautiful."  Jack makes his way up to the circular stone: the Fountain with a careful look out for Barbossa and his men.  Jack reaches up to touch the beautiful water, but as usual somebody needs to rain his parade.  Blackbeard: "Sparrow, I'll be the first to taste those waters."  Yes, because you helped so much in getting them there, Mr. Beard.  But this dream will have to wait because now Barbossa and his men have arrive via the strange water portal.  Blackbeard: "The one-legged man."  Angelica: "You brought him here."  Jack: "Would I do that?"  Is this a rhetorical question?

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