Thursday, June 21, 2012

"You'd Best Start Believing in Ghost Stories"

Our dear friend Elizabeth Swann is tricked into being a captive on board the Black Pearl in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.  If Jack had been captain of the Pearl at that time, she probably wouldn't have been so miserable, but creepy Barbossa loves to make her feel uncomfortable.  He sendds Pintel and Ragetti to fetch her for dinner.  Pintel: "You'll be dining with the captain,  and he requests you wear this."  Elizabeth eyes the crimson dress Pintel holds in his hand and then mocklingly replies: "Well, you may tell the captain that I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request."  Now how does this sound familiar?  Elizabeth is mimicking Barbossa's resonse to her in this scene.  But Barbossa thinks of everything.  Pintel: "He said you'd say that.  He also said if that be the case, you'll be dining with the crew, and you'll be naked."  Pintel and Ragetti giggle at this.  How mature.  Elizabeth angrily grabs the dress.  Pintel glares at her: "Fine."  Did you really think she was going to dine with you . . . without clothes?
So Barbossa prepares a pretty large meal for her.  Since niether him or any of the crew can eat, there is a lot of spare food.  Elizabeth slowly starts to eat, like a lady we know she isn't.    Barbossa: "There's no need to stand on ceremony,  no call to impress anyone.  You must be hungry."  She then sets her fork down and does the exact opposite, shoving her face with chicken and bread and wine.  It's not until Barbossa offers her an apple that she slows down.  Elizabeth: "It's poisoned."  As usual, Barobssa chuckles.  Barbossa: "There would be no sense to be killing you, Miss Turner."  Elizabeth: "Then release me.  You have your trinket.  I"m of now further value to you."  
Barbossa pulls out the lovely "trinket" of his.  Barbossa: "You don't know what this is, do you?"  Elizabeth: "It's a pirate medallion."  You're an intelligent young lady.  NOT!  Barbossa: "This is Aztec gold.  One of 882 identical pieces.  (That is a very specific number)  They delivered in a stone chest to Cortes himself.  Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked upon them with his armies.  But the greed of Cortes was insatiable.  So the heathen gods placed upon the gold. . . a terrible curse.  Any mortal that removes but a single piece from that stone chest shall be punished for eternity."  Dun dun dun! Elizabeth clearly does not understand the intensity of all this.  Elizabeth: "I hardly believe in ghost stories any more, Captian Barbossa."  Pompous?  I think so.  Barbossa: "Aye.  That's exactly what I thought when we were first told the tael."  He gets up and starts walking around her.  As he is talking, she picks up her table knife and keeps it in her lap.  Barbossa: "Bured on an Island of the Dead what cannot be found, except for those who know where it is.  (Why is everything in the pirate world like that?)  Find it we did.  There be the chest.  Inside be the gold.  We took 'em all!  We spent 'em and traded 'em and firttered 'em away on drink and food and pleasurable company.  The mroe we gave 'em away, the more we came to realize the drink would not satify.  
Food turned to ash in our mouths, and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust.  We are cursed men, Miss Turner.  Compelled by greed we were, but now . . . we are consumed by it.    THere is one way we can end our curse.  All teh scattered pieces of the Aztec gold must be restored and the blood repaid.  Thanks to ye, we have the final piece."  Elizabeth: "And the blood repaid?"  Wait for it. . . It gets even better!  Barbossa: "That's why there's no sense to be killing you.  Yet."  So they dragged her on this voyage to offer her up as a sacrafice to lift the curse.  But in the mean time, she can have as many apples as she wants! Fair deal, aye?  I guess nto because Elizabeth chases him around the cabin with her little knife.  Finally, she stabs him in the heart with it.  She seems more suprpised and scared than the one who actually got stabbed.  Barbossa just pulls the knife from his chest and examins it.  Barbossa: "I'm curious.  After killing me, what is it you're planning on doing next?"  Yeah, if he were dead it would be you and your knife against the rest of the crew, who want to eat wtih you, naked.  Oh, Elizabeth.  
Out of horror and shock she runs out of the cabin only to find a more disturbing scene.  The crew is hard at work in the dead of night with the full moon out, exposing their creey skeletons.  After going on an adventure throughout the haunted ship (which was sort of like an rollercoaster meets haunted house), she runs back to the safety of the cabin.  Barbossa catches her there.  Barbossa: "Look!  The moonlight shows us for what we really are.  We are not among the living, and so we cannot die.  But niether are we dead.  For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it.  Too long I've been starvin' to death and haven't died.  I feel nothin'.   Not the wind in my face, nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman's flesh.  You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss turner.  You're in one!" 

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