Friday, January 13, 2012

"Not Quite All The Way To Feelings"

 Jack and Angelica must have had a pretty unusual past together.  She seems to hold quite an unforgivable grudge on him for the whole The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  The whole movie, we're pretty much wondering, what in the name of John Hancock's second beard happened between them?  Jack: "There is a girl, a female, of the opposite sex."  Gibbs: "When is there not?"  Good question.  Jack: "Perhaps I should say damsel."  Gibbs: "You're rescuing a damsel?  Well there's a first."  Jack: "Yes, it's just that I may have caused said damsel some manner of harm many moons ago."  Gibbs: "Out with it."  Jack: "Gibbs, this is the woman from Serville."  Gibbs: "Ah, you pretended to love her then you left her and broke her heart?" Jack: "Worse.  I may have had, briefly mind you.... stirrings." Gibbs: "Stirrings?"  Jack: "Stirrings."  Gibbs: "What?  Like feelings you mean?" Jack: "No, no, no.  Not quite all the way to feelings.  More like.... alright, feelings.  Darn you."  Gibbs: "And you left her still.  Ooooh, that's low."  It kinda is.  You know what I would give for Jack Sparrow to have feelings for me?  Jack: "Thank you."  Do I sense some remorse in his tone?  Gibbs is a good friend to talk to, until he calls Jack low.  Angelica: "You betrayed me!  You seduced me and you used me."  Jack doesn't really see it the way Anglica does though.  Jack: "How can you say I used you?" Angelica: "You know exactly how."  Jack:  "I know but, how can you say it."  

So what really happened? Angelica: "Don't worry Jack, I've forgiven you."  Jack: "For leaving you?"  Angelica: "I recall that I left you."  Jack: "A gentleman allows the lady to maintain her fiction."  And Jack is such a gentleman you know.  I'm sorta getting some different stories here.  From what I gather, Angelica was going to be a nun.  She was all happy in her Spanish convent.  And then Jack showed up, used her and probably got her to forget about taking her vows for a while.  Then, realizing he actually had "stirrings" or "feelings" or both for her, he got scared, because nothing can take Jack away from what he loves the most: being a pirate.  So he left.  And this probably made her mad (it would make me mad).  And then the are finally reunited, both threatening the others life as the fight.  Of course, in this scene she is disguised as Jack, because well who wouldn't want to be Jack?  Jack finally realizes it's his dearly beloved Angelica and kisses her, giving it away. Angelica: "How is it that we can never meet without you pointing something at me?"

But there not all about fighting and swords.  Angelica: "Wine, music, candlelight...I think we've traveled down this road before, Jack." Jack: "Yes, we have. I remember it well. Winding, twisting, turning, gyrating, writhing...and incessant writhing. Do you recall Saint Dominque?" Angelica"La Martinique. I tried to kill you in Saint Dominique."  Oh, that's a bit awkward.

When they have finally sailed to the fountain of youth together, both Angelica and her kind father Blackbeard are killed.  As they both lay dying on the ground, Jack rushes over with the chalices that contains either their life of their death.  Jack tricks Angelica into drinking the one that will save her life, at the expense of her fathers.  Angelica: "I hate you."  Jack: "The bloke who saved your life."  Angelica: "The years I posses are stolen from my father!"  Jack: "I helped Blackbeard do what any father should have done."  Angelica: "You're cruel and ignorant."  Now that he's saved his dear damsel and killed her father, Jack strands her on an island a lone.  Even after she tries to shoot him, hit him, tell him that she loves him, and tell him that she's pregnant with his child. (This is sort of ironic because Penelope Cruz, who played Angelica, was actually pregnant while filming the movie.) He leaves her again anyways.  Angelica: "Wait. There's something I want to say to you. Something I wanted to say from the moment we first met."  Jack: "Go on then."  Angelica: "I love you."  Jack: "As do I.  Always have, always will"  They almost kiss, then, "I gotta go."  How touching.

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