Thursday, December 20, 2012

"Not With The Chest"

Ever wonder what it's like to look down at  your beating heart?  Well, you might as well wonder because unless our medical technology gets extremely more advance, most of us will probably never experience it.   I'm not so sure how I feel about that.  But in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Davy Jones desperately needs to find his heart.  Even though he knows Will Turner as an interest in finding it, he doesn't expect to be in any danager because to get to the heart, you need the key to the chest.  Remember?  Jack so nicely pointed this out to us at the beginning of the movie.  "We don't have the key.  WE can't open whatever it is that we don't have that it unlocks.  SO what purpose would we be serving finding whatever need be unlock, which we don't have.  Without first having found the key what unlocks it?"  But then Will goes missing from the Flying Dutchman with the precious key to the chest, leaving Davy Jones nothing but a cloth drawing of a key (which is actually even better, according to Captain Jack!).  This puts Davy Jones into a panic.  First, he calls the kraken to slaughter a ship, and then makes his crew sail as quickly was possible to the Isla de Muerta where Jones hid the chest.  Now that's when all the confusing stuff happens concerning the location of the chest.  Might I just add, I'm not quite sure why the named the movie "Dead Man's Chest", when Davy Jones owns the chest and he's not dead.  In fact, half the movie is all about Davy Jones avoiding death.  Just a thought.  
Anyways, things seem pretty under countrol when Elizabeth, Jack, and Norrington dig up the chest.  Then they all completely forget about the chest when Will shows up and they all get caught up in a sword fight.  So Pintel and Ragetti see this as an opportunity to be idiots again and run off with the chest.  The party continues when lo' and behold Davy Jones arrives.  He, of course, stays the ship and sends he menacing crew after them.  The men find the empty whole where the chest used to be, and are angry.  Then they hear the church bell ringing where the trio are fighting and run after them.  Pintel, Ragetti, and the chest, are boing chased after an angry Elizabeth, and then they all are being chased after the crew of teh Dutchman.  The three of them fend off the crew with only two swords (pretty impressive if I do say so myself).  But then they leave the chest laying in the grass (not so impressive).  Why does everyone keep leaving Davy Jones' hear lying around?  It's slightly important.  Well, one of Jones' men finds it and picks it up happily.  Only too bad for him because Jack throws a coconut at him, knocking off his head.  
As the crew member's head and body try to frantically be reunited, Jack just tells them both "Oh, shut it."  He uses the key he just desperately fought for to unlock the chest and take out the heart.  Ew.  If you're a doctor and happen to be reading this: 1) tell all your friends about us and 2) tell me if the heart actually looks really (you know, with all the arteries and stuff).  Jack gets about two seconds to examine the heart before more of Jones' men appear.  He stuffs the heart in his shirt pocket and makes a run for it.  Gross, imagine feeling someone else's heart beating on your chest.  He leaves the chest laying there for Pintel and Ragetti to pick it up, not realizing its contents are missing.  In the meantime, Jack runs across the beautiful beach to the row boat he took to shore.  He frantically cries for his jar of dirt, and creatively hids it in there just in time to fend off one of Jones' henchmen and runs.  
James Norrington makes it to the row boat after him.  He digs around and finds the Letters of Marque Jack had.  Then he looks around and finds the jar of dirt, but some of the dirt is messily displaced around the boat, which leads him to beleive Jack hid the heart in the jar.  He's the next Sherlock Homes.  Pintel and Ragetti still think they have the heart, so Will stops them.  He examines the chest, which oddly has the key in it.  Jack, becoming paranoid that Will will unfoil his plans, knocks Will upside the head.  Elizabeth, of course runs over to save him his unconsious body.  Jack: "Leave him lie!  Unless you plan on using him to hit something with."  Creative.  But their surrouned by Jones' men, so even if they did use Will's body as a weapon, it doesn't look like they'd get far.  Elizabeth: "We're not getting out of his."  Norrington: "Not with the chest.  Into the boat."  He grabs the chest, which he knows is empty.  (He has the heart stuck in his shirt too, ew).  Elizabeth: "You're mad!"  James: "Don't wait for me."  
He frantically runs off, distracting the henchmen.  Jack: "I say we respect his final wish."  Jack thinks that he still has the heart in the jar.  Pintel: "AYE!"  They all flee in the row boat.  Norrinton is chased into the forest, where he surrenders the empty chest and secretly runs off with the heart!  Wow, talk about some misunderstandings.  Everyone thinks they have the heart, but only Norrington is correct!

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