Thursday, May 31, 2012

"I'd vote for you"

Right side up and sailing along, all nice and calm, Jack Sparrow and Barbossa just have to disturb the peace because they can't decide who gets to be head Captain of the Black Pearl.  Barbossa: "What are you doing?"Jack: "What are you doing?" Barbossa: "No, what are you doing?"Jack:   "What are you doing?" Barbossa:"No, what are you doing?"Jack: "What are you doing…er, captain gives orders on the ship."Barbossa: "The captain of this ship is giving orders."Jack: "My ship, makes  me captain!"Barbossa:"They be my charts."Jack: "Well, that makes you…chart man!"   Wow guys, real mature. Well one of the silly pirates Decides to weigh in with his two cents, Pintel: "Stow it! Both of you! That's an order! Understand? [Jack and Barbossa stare at him] Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration, sorry."
Ragetti: "[to Pintel] I'd vote for you."  
Well to be honest I would vote for him too. Hahaha NOT!  We never really find out who is really in charge.  But soon after that immature argument, the  crew returns to whatever crews do on large ships. After sailing for a short time, half the crew they acquired turns on them and Sao Feng pops in and captures their ship and takes the crew (along with the disagreeing captains) captive.    
And guess who else pops in?  Our favorite short dude, Lord Cutler Beckett, We'll get back to him in a bit.  It turns out After getting his hideout blown to pieces by the EITC Sao Feng decided to join them. (Quite an odd move if you ask me)  He tries to explain his reasoning to Barbossa,  "There is no honor in remaining with the losing side, leaving it for the winning side…that's just good business." "The losing' side, ye say?" But Barbossa who still has faith in his fellow pirate tries to convince Feng to break his deal with the EITC and come to the gathering of the Brethren Court,  he has a trick up his sleeve and tries use it to lure Feng back.
 Meanwhile Jack and Beckett are having a discussion, in which Beckett tries to convince Jack to lead him to Shipwreck Cove (meeting place of the Brethren Court) , While also threatening him with a teeny-tiny little pistol, Jack who is apparently is still mad at his rescuers ( or maybe his was afraid of the pistol? ) agrees to the deal, as long as Beckett forces Jones to stop chasing him. Back to Barbossa and Feng, Elizabeth is bartered off in trade for Feng's loyalty to the pirates. To show his loyalty Feng attacks the EITC ship Endeavor while Jack is still on board. Jack has to duel with Beckett's friend Mercer, but eventually escapes back to his ship  the Black Pearl.
 And Lizzie sets off with Feng, on an uncertain mission. Soon she finds out that Feng thinks she is the human form of Calypso (goddess of the sea trapped by the brethren court many years ago)  However, the EITC wasn't happy that Feng betrayed them so they sent Jones and his ship The Flying Dutchman after them.  Being the savvy pirates that they are, The crew bombards Sao's ship The Empress with cannon balls.  on of them hits the captain's cabin where Sao happens to be trying to force his plan upon Elizabeth.  The cannon ball barreled through the wall and sends shards of wood into Feng's back, impaling him. Just before he dies Sao names Elizabeth as the captain. And The Empress continued on to the gathering at Shipwreck Cove. Where argument and gunfights await them. But hey they're pirates what do you expect? 

Sunday, May 27, 2012

"Sometimes Things Come Back Mate"

After Jack successfully gets the crew back out of the land of the dead, Barbossa, Will, Jack, Elizabeth, and Gibbs are no longer on the same side trying to get out of the nasty place.  They all want something of the others that obviously requires a pistol to do the work.  Barbossa looks out at the beautiful setting sun, gives a nice smile showing how happy he is that Jack got them there, and then points his gun at Jack.  And then once one gun is out, they're all out. Barbossa, Jack, Will, Elizabeth and Gibbs all stand in circle with a gun in both hands, pointing them at the peeople to the left and right of them.  Elizabeth has a gun pointed at Jack, so naturally he points one back.  
Elizabeth finds this very offensive, gasps dramatically, and gives him a cold look.  Jack the monkey decides to join in the fun and points his gun at Cotton's parrot.  (Why does a monkey have a gun?)  Parrot: "Parley?"  Pintel and Ragettie, who had the brilliant idea to tie themselves up side down frantically try to join the gun party. Pintel: "We need our pistols!  Get untied, hurry!"  Everyone is glaring at eachother in the circle.  Then Barbossa, who first pulled out his gun, starts to laugh creepily.  Everyone starts to laugh and lower their weapons.  Barbossa leads the way again.  Barbossa: "All right, then!" Everyone's gun is back out.  Barbossa: "The Brethren Court is a-gathering at shipwreck Cove. And, Jack, you and I are a-going.  There'll be no arguing that point."  Jack: "I is arguing that point."  You has good gramar.  Jack: "If there's a pirates a-gathering, I'm pointingmy ship the other way."  He owes them all to much money to confront them.  
Elizabeth points her two pistols at him.  Elizabeth: "The pirates are gathering to fight Beckett, and you're a pirate."  Who told you?  How did you know?  Jack moves both of his guns at Elizabeth; this time she doesn't make a scene about it.  Will reacts by pointing guns at Jack too.  Will: "Fight or not, you're not running, Jack."  Jack points one pistol at Will and one at Elizabeth.  Barbosssa: "If we don't stand together, they'll hunt us down one by one, till there be none left but you."  Jack: "Quite like the sound of that.  Captain Jack Sparrow, the last pirate." Barbossa breaks through the circle and points one gun at Jack and the other a Gibbs (who is always loyal to Jack).  Barbossa: "Aye.  And you'll be fighting Jones alone.  How does that figure into your plan?"  Jack: "I"m still working on that.  But I will not be going back to the Locker, mate.  Count on that."  Please don't or everyone will have to sail to the end of the world to get you again.  Jack pulls his trigger to fire at Barbossa, but all that comes out is water.  Everyone fires their guns but get the same reaction.  Gibbs: "Wet powder."  Pintel: "Wait! We can still use them as clubs!"  With good reason, everyone ignores him.  Except Ragetti who tries out this theory by hitting Pintel on the head.  Ragetti: "Sorry.  Effective, though."  
Will, realizing they can do nothing without supplies pulls out the map.  Will: "There's fresh water on this island.  We can resupply there and get back to shooting eachother later."  Jack: "You lead the shore party.  I'll stay with my ship."  Maroon him on an island the way he did to you?  But you would still need those supplies.  Barbossa: "I'll not be leavign my ship in your command."  Okay Barbossa, let me help you get this straight.  THE BLACK PEARL IS NOT YOUR SHIP!Jack paid a very high price for that boat and then killed you to get it back.  It's time to let go.  Will: "Why don't you both go ashore and leave the ship in my command." Everyone looks at him like he's crazy.  Will: "Temporarily."  They reluctantly agree.  Jack and Barbossa lead a party to shore to get supplies.  As usual, Pintel and Ragetti are part of the party, also as usual they have trouble getting their boat to shore. The wave flips over their row boat.  What are we going to do with them?  When they finally get to shore (soaked), they find the dead kraken washed up on the sand.  Ew. 
 Pintel: "Criminy."  Ragetti: "Odds bodkins."  Those are some creative catch phrases.  They slowly approach the beast.  Pintel: "You stupid fish!"  Now now now, let's honor the dead.  Ragetti: "Actually it's a cephalopod."  So you know all about mystical biology but you can't row a boat?  Yet you're a pirate???  Where is the sense?  They start to climb up the beast as though it were a playgound.  Ragetti: "Pin, I bet people would pay a shilling to see this.  And another shilling for a sketch of them sitting atop."  It probably smells teribble.  Pintel: "Pintel and Ragetti, kraken slayers."  They are just too mature.  But wait, it gets better.  Ragettie: "We could serve up a slice as a sourvenir."  Yes, who wouldn't want to just carry around a piece of dead sea monster with them all over the place.  
Meanwhile, as these fools play around with the dead monster, Jack looks woefully at it, realizing what Beckett has done.  Barbossa: "Still thinking of running, Jack?  Think you can outrun the world? (If anyone could, Captain Jack Sparrow would be the one)  You know, the problem with being the last of anything by and by, there be none left at all."  Jack: "Sometimes things come back, mate.  We're living proof, you and me."  Barbossa: "Aye, but that's a gamble of long odds, ain't it?  There's never a guarentee of coming back.  But passing on, that's dead certain."  Eventually, everyone meets the dead end.  Jack: "Summoning the Brethren Court, then is it?"  Barbossa: "It's our only hope, lad."    Jack: "That's a sad commentary in and of itself." Barbossa: "The world used to be a bigger place."  Beckett said something similar to that to Will in the second movie.  Jack: "The world's still the same.  There's just . . . less in it."  
Words to live by.  In the Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom Jack says he enjoys reading poetry.  Clearly he himself is also a poet.  So you're probably thinking, what's the big deal about a dead kraken?  It was a terrible and scary creature anyways.  Well here's the thing: the kraken was a great part of the pirate life.  It belonged to a pirate: Davy Jones.  But now with the rise of Beckett and the East India Trading Company, the pirate world seems to be slowly disappearing and the death of this mighty creature makes the E.I.T.C. look even stronger.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

"Aha! Dead End!"

Captain Jack Sparrow is incredible. He defeated Davy Jones, the E.I.T.C. and lifted the curse of the Aztec gold. One of his latest feat was finding the fountain of youth. While on a quest from Blackbeard to get the silver chalices Jack runs into Barbossa, also looking for the fountain of youth. Jack learns that Barbossa is out to get Blackbeard and Captain Jack decides to help by assisting him in stealing the chalices from the Spanish. After that, Jack goes to get Mr. Beard and lead him to Barbossa at the Fountain. But Jack seems to have trouble guiding them exactly to the Fountain.  Jack: "I could've sworn it was somewhere right around here." 
Luckily he is reminded of it's location when he sees the drops of water that apparently are too cool to obey the laws of gravity.  Jack holds one of these drops on his finger and it slowly floats to the tip of his finger.  He peers through it and it's like a magnifying glass!  He can see the location of the Fountain!  He leads the crew down the rocky path into a cave with a pool of water.  But have they reached the Fountain yet?  One of the crew members reaches up to touch one of the spikes coming from the ceiling.  Automatically the man next to him drops dead.  So they haven't reached the waters of eternal life yet, just death.  The quartermaster sees this death as a setback.  Quartermaster: "We must not stop."  They travel through the cave and into a dark tunnel.  But that tunnel does not go far.  Jack: "Aha! Dead end."  
It's funny because somebody just died.  Blackbeard does not find this funny though.  Blackbeard: "Dead. End."  Jack is very pleased with his work: "Dead end."  Because that's really similar to what they were searching for.  Angelica: "Jack, I'm starting to think you don't know where you're going."  Jack: "It is not the destination so much as the journey, they say."  Jack Sparrow, the poet.  Jack: "Chalices, if you please."  The zombie dude hands him the cups.    Jack holds them up in the air.  Blackbeard looks at him as though he is crazy.  Jack: "Stand back."  Oh my, this is getting serious.  The whole crew retreats in awe, except for Blackbeard. Jack clings the chalices together and they make a nice dramatic chime that echos through the entire cave.  And guess what happens?  NOTHING!  
Slightly anti-climatic if you ask me.  Jack clings them again to stop the awkward silence.  But this time it's not as dramatic.  This is too much for Angelica to bear.  Angelica: "Jack . . .have you ever, in fact . . . seen with your own eyes . . . the Fountain of Youth?"  Jack: "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question, please?"  I'll take that as a no.  Blackbeard: "Quartermaster."  So when you can't get your way, just pull out a gun, am I right?  Jack: "No no no!"  Jack hides behind the chalices.  The bullet bounces off these cups and elsewhere into the cave.  That was lucky.  They try it again.  Jack: "Wait, wait! Wait."  
So Jack leads them all this way to the bloody Fountain, jumped off a cliff, stole the chalices from the Spaniards, and found the zombie crew again only for them to try to shoot him when he cant break into the Fountain the second they reach it.  Quite ungrateful really. 
 So out of desperation, Jack turns the chalices and reads the engraving aloud: "Aqua de vida."  And guess what happens?  RUMBLING!  All the water makes its way to the top of the cave.  Defying gravity!  A bird flies up and into the water.  Jack seems very pleased with his work.  Jack: "Master Scrum . . . do you mind?"  He hands him the cups, and then climbs on top of him!  Jack sticks his sword into the mystical water and up he goes!  Jack appears in a completely different yet equally mystical setting.  
There is fog all around the ground, creating an eerie feeling.  Say, could this be the blessed Fountain of Youth?  Jack picks up his sword and examines the place.  He's now in a new type of cave: the Fountain of Youth.  Meanwhile, back down in the first cave, Angelica, Blackbeard, and the rest of the crew decide joining Jack through the creepy water seems legit.  So they appear also.  Angelica: "So beautiful."  Jack makes his way up to the circular stone: the Fountain with a careful look out for Barbossa and his men.  Jack reaches up to touch the beautiful water, but as usual somebody needs to rain his parade.  Blackbeard: "Sparrow, I'll be the first to taste those waters."  Yes, because you helped so much in getting them there, Mr. Beard.  But this dream will have to wait because now Barbossa and his men have arrive via the strange water portal.  Blackbeard: "The one-legged man."  Angelica: "You brought him here."  Jack: "Would I do that?"  Is this a rhetorical question?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"It goes with your black heart."

After suffering an unfortunate defeat in an epic battle between The Black Pearl  and The HMS Interceptor,  and failed negotiations by Will, Elizabeth is forced to walk the plank by Barbossa and his crew. But first she had to give back the dress loaned to her by (Indian giver)  Captain Barbossa. Barbossa: "So I'll be havin' that dress back before ye go". Jack Sparrow: "I always liked you." Bo'sun: "Grr..."  Elizabeth: "Goes with your black heart."  Barbossa: "Ooh, it's still warm."  The Crew: "Off you go! Come on! Get on with it!" Bo'sun: "Too long!"   And then the wicked 
 Bo'Sun didn't even let her dive in, he whacked the deck and in to the blue ocean she went. Jack tried to weasel out of being marooned on a familiar island with Elizabeth, But he failed of course.

   Well I guess he and Will need to work on their negotiating skills, maybe they can take some group classes together.  But anyways,  Jack and Elizabeth discover some rum and party into the night....well Jack does, While he is getting drunk Lizzie is hatching a plan to bring the rescuers to the party.  After Jack fell asleep she set all the rum on fire. Her plan worked, but Jack wasn't very happy with her afterwords.

 Darling Norrington happens along and save Jack and Elizabeth who then tries and fails to convince her father to return to the pirates and save her true love; Will. Elizabeth: "But we've got to save Will!" Governor Swann : "No! You're safe now. We will return to Port Royal immediately, not go gallivanting after pirates!" Elizabeth : "Then we condemn him to death!"  Governor Swann : "The boy's fate is regrettable... but then, so was his decision to engage in piracy." Well they just gave her the stink eye and the "Umm heck no" face, Ouch. And then they locked her in a cabin, which unfortunately had a window, and lots of sheets. But that doesn't come into play for a little bit.

   While all this is going on, the pirates on board the Pearl are sailing back to island full of treasure and the chest of cursed gold medallions. Also happening around this time, is the conversation that we previously discussed between Jack and Norrington in which Norrington is pigheaded and won't take Jack's advice.
So Jack switched plans and heads on over to the pirates and warns them of their inanimate defeat if they break the curse right away. These guys are smart and they listen to Jack and decide to go kill all the Navy men with their ghostly powers. But where is Elizabeth you might ask? Well she is sneaking out like a little rebel and rowing her little boat over to the treasure and pirate filled Isle de la Muerta    to rescue her beloved Will. Well she made it right on time, after reuniting with Will she joined in the most recent fight between the pirates and give them a piece of her mind "You think you know pain? Try wearing a corset!" 
Well that corset have gotten her in quite a few sticky situations,  but sometimes it does come in handy.  While Liz and Will are fighting boring crew members Jack and Barbossa are battling it out in a potentially never ending fight between to men who can't die. Yippee! We all know Jack wins in the end of course, but what about those Navy men and the Pirates?  Well the Navy men were getting their butts kicked for quite awhile until Will saved the day by breaking the curse and ending both fights. Go Will!  But thats not the end of our tail....How will Elizabeth convince her Father to let her follow her true calling?  I bet that corset he bought her might come back to haunt him. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

“We Are Pirates”

Don't you love pirates? Would it shock you to know that not all pirates are as nice as Captain Jack Sparrow? Well it's true. These pirates are called rogues in the book The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom by A.C. Crispin. They don't even follow the Pirate Code.(Shocker, I know) They just roam the seas with their big old guns and scare ships into putting up a white flag. But instead of taking the cargo and leaving they kill the whole crew and run away. This is not good for awesome pirates because this get's the government mad. Mad enough to start a war. So Captain Teague, keeper of the code, decides to track down these rogues. 
The brethren court decides to summon Davy Jones in order to find the culprit. When Davy Jones arrives he says that the leader of the rogues is non other than Boris or Borya Palachnik, Pirate lord of the Caspian sea and captain of the Koldunya. Teague quickly arrests him. Borya quickily gives up his rogue friend, Christophe. This is when Jack comes in. See Christophe was Jack's closest freind at the time. Christophe tells Teague that his final wish, before getting hanged is to talk with Jack. Teague agrees to his terms but insists that a gaurd watches them at all times. Jack comes in and Christophe immediately convinces him that he's innocent. 
Christophe: Jacques, tomorrow at dawn they are going to hang me, and all my men, who are innocent, too. We are pirates, yes, but you are a pirate, too! We have not broken the Code! It is Captain Borya's malice, his final revenge on an enemy that has brought us to this pass. Jacques, you are my best friend in all the world...please. Help me. Jack makes one of his rare mistakes and believes him. Jack secretly frees Christophe and his crew who promptly knocks him out and brings him on board his ship. Jack becomes a "honest sailor" after that and joins the E.I.T.C. because he fears hat if he goes back to shipwreck cove he'll be hanged for freeing a prisoner. He realizes that the only way to redeem himself would be to Kill Borya and Christophe. But he finds this to challenging and continues as captain of the Wicked Wench. However on a voyage to the lost city of Zerzura he runs into Borya, still sailing under the rogue flag, a demon on a red clothe.
Jack knows the waters that they are sailing and leads borya into a trap. Jack would sail through some shallow reefs, avoiding running aground, until Borya who didn't know the area would. This plan goes sucessfully. . .until Jack's ship runs aground as well. So both Ships are unable to move and so both ships continue to fire at each other until Ayisha, the magic princes of Zerzura who was onboard, lights the Koldunya's magazine on fire, blowing up the whole ship. 
Later when Jack uses his compass to find Christophe who is in possesion of the third bracelet needed to open the door to Kerma's treasure Jack ditches christophe without giving him his share. Christophe orders his crew to go and get JAck but they think he's going crazy and leave him on a row boat in the middle of the ocean. He finds Jack's ship and boards it. He challenges Jack to a duel and he accepts. They run around the whole ship and in the end Jack wins. And So our hero is is free to pirate another day.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

“It's Frightful Luck To Bring A Woman On Board”

During the many adventures of the pirates of the Caribbean, we come a cross quite a few damsels, all with their own unique personalities and love/hate for Jack Sparrow.  We want to know which of these young ladies you like the most?  Please vote in our poll and let us know!  Now I will share with you which damsels in distress I think are the most interesting.
5. Anamaria
Anamaria and Jack have encountered each other before we first meet her in The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and I don't think they had a very good first impression.  Apparently, Jack had stolen her ship a while back.  So when Jack comes rolling into Tortuga in another stolen ship looking for a crew, Anamaria joins the lot in order to see Jack again and give him a piece of her mind.  She starts out by slapping him.  Will: "I suppose you didn't deserve that one, either."  Jack: "No, that one I deserved."  Anamaria: "You stole my boat!"  Jack: "Actually."  And then she slaps him again.
4. Esmeralda Maria Consuela Anna de Sevilla
Esmerelda is one of the few damsels that has never slapped Jack. In The Price Of Freedom she encounters Jack as he is first mate of the merchant vessel, Fair Wind. She had Just taken over as captain of the ship Vengenza from her father, Don Rafeal. Jack warns the captain that he recognizes this ship but he ignores Jack (bad idea) and ends up going crazy because he thinks that it's improper for a woman to be captain. (Another Bad Idea) Esmerelda gets annoyed and stabs him. However since she has met Jack and (of Course) fell in love so she did not take all of the Fair Wind's cargo. She is also nice later in the book when Jack had just fought and beat a rogue pirate. She sends her men to help Jack's men repair his ship, the Wicked Wench. I suppose she is a bit nicer then a certain damsel that slaps on sight. . .
3. Angelica
Angelica and Jack also go pretty far back beyond the movies.  The first meet when Jack enters into her convent when she's preparing to be a nun.  They fell in love, and then he broke her heart by leaving.  They meet again in a bar in The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  As they sail together on the Queen Anne's Revenge they pick up their love interest again.  But it fails when Jack saves her life (???) and then dumps her on an island as she pretends to be pregnant.  But as she's on the island, Jack's voodoo doll washes up on the shores.  What will she do with it next?
2. Tia Dalma/Calypso
Jack and Tia Dalma go far back.  Even before The Price of Freedom when she gave him is super handy compass that points to whatever he wants the most.  But we first meet Tia Dalma in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.  She lives in some magical shack off the river in what looks like the swamps of Florida or Louisiana.  At first she seems like some sort of creepy enchanted obeah woman, 
but in The Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End we learn that she is a creepy enchanted obeah goddess who used to have thing for Davy Jones.  (Imagine what their kids would look like?)  But their love ended so long ago when Jones stopped fulfilling his duties ferrying souls to the other side and trapped her in human form.  So she turns on him by helping the Brethren court defeat him after they have released her from her human bonds.

1. Elizabeth Swann/Turner
Wow.  Where to begin with this one?  She's in more of the movies than any other woman and the plays quite a significant role in each one.  If you haven't noticed in any of my other posts, I love to hate on Elizabeth.  But in reality, I think she's a great character to include and I missed her in The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  Of course, her constant tone of superiority makes me want to punch her but she makes the movies quite interesting with all her romances.  (There are too many of those to list here, so if you want more about her love affairs click here)  But in the end she marries Will Turner and raises his son, also named Will Turner.

Friday, May 18, 2012

"You Had It Easy, Boy"

When Will first arrives on Flying Dutchman in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, all the other crew members seem creepy, odd, and evil too him, not to mention the captain is just down right cruel (which is a matter of perspective;).  But there is more to it than that for one particular crew member.  We learned a bit about Will's father, William Turner Sr. or better known as Bootstrap Bill, back in the first movie when will discovers that he was the son of a pirate.  Bootstrap was part of the crew of the Black Pearl during their mutiny against Jack and when they stole the cursed Aztec gold.  But he was not in favor of their mutiny so he decides to curse the entire crew for it.  He takes a piece of gold and sends it to his son, Will.  Will as a child wears this around his neck as his one memory of his father. That is, until Elizabeth steals it and Jack helps lift the curse.  
But Barbossa still deals with a lot of probelms because of the curse, so he throws Bootstrap into the bottom of the ocean FOREVER.  That's when Davy Jones comes in.   You see, the Flying Dutchman basically becomes a ship where all the souls who are afraid of hell work and for those who feel that their life offers nothing better.  Bootstrap can't die (becasue of the curse) and sitting at the bottom of the ocean with all the water pushing down on him did not seem like the ideal way to spend the rest of his life.  So Davy Jones comes on over and offers him a way out.  Bootstrap takes the offer. (nice going)  
As we already know, Will finds himself on the boat thanks to our dear friend Jack Sparrow.  For a little while, Will is unsuspecting of his father serving along side him and Bootstrap too has no idea.  But a few complications arise when there are two William Turners walking around the deck.  The bosun orders: "Secure the mast tackle, Mr. Turner!  Step to it!"  Who he really means, I have no idea.  But both Will and Bootstrap think they are being addressed.  So they post leave their current positions to carry out the new task.  Bootstrap gets there first, but Will is suddenly angry that someone is doing his job.  Will: "Step aside."  Bootstrap does not understand what this new guy is doing.  Bootstrap: "Hey!  Mind yourself!  Let go, boy!"  Bootstrap then looks up to whoever the abnoxious boy that is disrupting his work is.  That's when it hits him.  Will on the other hand has no memory of this starfish dude, just looks at him crazily.  Probably thinking "why is this guy staring at me creepily?"  Bootstrap: "No!"  
Out of shock and horror that his son has ended up on the same wretched ship as himself, Bootstrap lets go of the rope that is hodling up the cannon.  Will tires to save it but it's already falling and Will is pulled across the quarter deck by it.  It crashes onto the deck bellow, hits some of the other workers, and causes quite a disturbance.  Nobody is very happy about it.  And poor Will is blamed for it.  Bosun: "Haul that weevil to his feet!  Five lashes will remind you to stay on 'em!"  Stay on what?  Bootstap has other plans though.  He tries to black the whip.  Bootstrap: "No!"  Bosun: "Impeding me in my duties?  You'll share the punishment."  Bootstrap: "I'll take it all."  A selfless pirate?  Davy jones decides to stick his nose into the episode, or maybe I should say his tentacles.  Jones: "Will you, now?  And what would prompt such an act of charity."  Jones is a shocked by this kind gesture as I am.  Bootstrap just weakly stammers: "My son.  He's my son."  
Jones and Bootstrap look towards Will.  Will turns and looks at his father.  Family reunion!  There's this super awkward yet sentimental.  Jones finds it funny and starts to laugh.  Jones: "What fortuitous circumstance be this?  Five lashes be owed i believe it is."  He then hands Bootstrap the whip.  That's not barbaric.  Bootstrap: "No. No, I won't!"  Jones: "That cat's out of the bag, Mr. Turner.  (Which one?)  You issue will feel its sting be it by the bosun's hand or your own."  How about no body gets hurt?  Bootstap: "No."  Davy Jones glares into Bootstrap's eyes: "Bosun!"  Bootstrap: "No!" (5 "no's" in 2 minutes. . . impressive).  Bootstrap takes the whip and examines it as intense music plays.  And then he whips Will.  It's a very joyful scene for Davy Jones who stands and watches contently.  What a creep.  Don't you have a heart?  Oh wait... No.  After the event, Will does not seem to have enjoyed his flogging very much.  
They push him down onto the lower deck and Bosun screams: "You had it easy, boy!"  Bootstrap: "Will."  Will: "I don't need your help."  His voice is raspy suddenly.  Bootstrap: "The bosun prides himself on cleaving flesh from bone, with every swing."  So that's what he meant by having it easy.  Will: "So I'm to understand what you did was an act of compassion?"  Bootstrap: "Yes."  Well ok then.  I guess that's that.  What a dramatic family reunion.  Will recovers from his anger towards his father and eventually kills Davy Jones to set him free from service.  But all that is yet to come!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

"Do We Have An Accord?"

Will Turner has this super brilliant plan to help Sao Feng capture Jack and Barbossa in return for the Black Pearl, which he believes will help him save his father.  Quite a betrayal, eh? So while Jack and Barbossa are off the ship getting supplies, he let's Sao Feng on board.  But things get even more complicated when the East India Trading Company decides to join the party also.  Sao Feng then reveals to Will that he has no intention on letting Will keep the ship.  Beckett then reveals to Sao Feng that he has no intention on letting Sao Feng keep the ship.  So they all must come upon an agreement.  Barbossa: "Shame they're not bound to honor the code of the Brethren, isn't it?  Because honor's a hard thing to come by nowadays."  Yes, it really is too bad that the Royal Navy is not as civilized as pirates are.  Sao Feng: "There is no honor or remaining with the losing side.  Leaving it for the winning side, that's just good business."  
Don't steal lines.  Stealing a ship is one thing, don't steal catch phrases.  Barbossa: "The losing side, you say?"  Sao Feng: "They have the Dutchman.  Now the Pearl!  (You have no one to blame but yourself on that one) And what do the Brethren have?"  Barbossa: "We have Calypso."  Now some fancy, creepy music plays in the background.  Sao Feng looks suspiciously over at Elizabeth, then chuckles.  Sao Feng: "Calypso.  An old legend."  
Barbossa: "No. The goddess herself bound in human form.  Imagine all the power of the seas brought to bear against our enemy.  I intend to release her.  But for that I need the Brethren Court.  All the Court."  Slowly the crew begins to recognize his plans. Sao Feng: "What are you proposing, captain?"  Barbossa: "What be accepting, cap'n?"  They stroll on over to Elizabeth.  Sao Feng: "The girl."  Elizabeth: "What?"  Will: "Elizabeth is not part of any bargain."  Barbossa agrees, for some reason: "Out of the question."  Sao Feng: "It was not a question."  Elizabeth: "Done."  Will: "What? Not done."  Tensions arise.  Elizabeth: "You got us into this.  If it frees us, then done!"  
She's got a point.  If he hadn't called up their enemy to find them, the Black Pearl wouldn't be so crowded.  Will: "Elizabeth, they are pirates."  They are?  You are the one who just betrayed your friends to get them there!  Betrayal and pirates are like two peas and a pod.  (for more about betrayal click here).  Elizabeth: "I have had more than enough experience dealing with pirates."  She shoves him, or is it a hit?  Because he didn't go very far.  Maybe she's just weak.  Barbossa: "Then we have an accord?"  And with that Will watches his beloved fiance (if you can even call them that any more) sail away on the Empress.  That worked out well.

Cutler Beckett is not happy about this escape so he orders Davy Jones to get Sao Feng while he chases the Black Pearl. However Jack very kindly destroys one of the masts on Beckett's ship, slightly delaying they're plan. 
The Endeavor might have had trouble catching the Black Pearl but Davy Jones has no trouble finding Sao Feng. The Dutchman and the Empress start attacking each other, killing Sao Feng in the process. He Names Elizabeth as the new captain. However the first mate,Tai Hung, get's a bit jealous. (Really Elizabeth, really?) Tai: "What did he tell You?
Elizabeth: "He made me captain." He then sorms away, dramatically. But Later When He's captured along with the rest of the crew he changes his mind. Davy Jones: "Who amond you do you name as captain?" Tai Hung: "Captain? Her.[points at Elizabeth]" The crew mumbles they're agreement. Elizabeth and "her crew" are hauled onto the Dutchman.  That makes three ships in one day for Elizabeth.  Isn't this some sort of record?