Sunday, August 12, 2012

"What will we do now?"

So we all know that Captain Sao Feng was Pirate Lord of the South China Sea.  He was on his way the the meeting of the Brethren Court when the Empress ran into some trouble.  The ship was attacked by the Flying Dutchman.  Davy Jones makes his presence known by blasting a cannon into the ship, which hits Sao Feng mortally.  Elizabeth, who is on board the ship, lies to his dying face by allowing him to think she was the sea goddess, Calypso.  So has he's dying, he makes Elizabeth captain of the Empress and passes on his piece of eight and position as Pirate Lord.  At first, the crew of the Empress is outraged.  Tai Huang: "What did he tell you?" Elizabeth: "He made me captain."  Tai Huang: "You are not my captain!"  But things change when they were line up on deck.  Davy Jones: "Who among you do you name as captain?"  Tai Huang immediately points at Elizabeth and says, "Captain."  So I guess Elizabeth is captain, and a pretty good thing for the crew of the Empress.  Since Elizabeth was friends with Admiral Norrington, he let them out of the brig of the Flying Dutchman and back to freedom on the Empress.  
From there they sail to Shipwreck Cove for the meeting of the Brethren Court.  But due to the delay, they arrive after all the other pirate lords, making a big scene as they walked in.  Jack: "Might I point out that we are still short one pirate lord and I'm as content as a cucumber to wait until Sao Feng joins us."  Then you could be waiting for the rest of your life.  Right on cue.  Elizabeth: "Sao Feng is dead.  He fell to the Flying Dutchman."  She sticks her sword into the globe with the others.  Every one else in the room is outraged and start screaming all about how evil the Dutchman is.  Jack: "He made you captain?  Just giving the bloody title away now!"  You know it's a sad day when Elizabeth Swann is in charge of a boat.  And what's even sadder is that she now thinks she's in charge of everyone.  Elizabeth: "Listen to me!  Our location has been betrayed."  What makes what you say more important than the words of the other Pirate Lords?  They've been Lord's longer than you have.  But she continues anyways: "Jones is under the command of Lord Beckett.  They're on their way here."  
Jocard, another pirate lord, exclaims: "Who is this betrayer?"  Barbossa attempts to mellow everything out: "Not likely anyone among us."  And we all know it was only a matter of time before Elizabeth asks: "Where's Will?"  Jack: "Not among us."  Hmmmm, how suspicious . . .  Barbossa: "And it matters not how they found us.  The question is what will we do now that they have?"  Elizabeth is becoming way too overly confident.  Elizabeth: "We fight!"  I'm really beginning to see why Tai Huang was so scared to have her as captain.  The whole Brethren Court just laughs in her face.  Even Jack.    So then all of the pirate lords share what they think is the answer.  Do they fight?  Do they just hang out in Shipwreck Cove, a fortress,  for all eternity?  Do they release Calypso and hope that she's nice?  Jack has the perfect answer for this one.  He explains to the Court the significance of cuttlefish and all about how the pirates would kill each other if they tried.  And then he finishes his great speech in a rather shocking way.  Jack: ". . . .We are left with but one option.  I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of my mouth, Captain Swann.  We must fight."  
You know things are desperate when the best plan is Elizabeth's plan.  But Barbossa still wants to ruin Elizabeth and Jack's plan.  Barbossa: "You've always run away from a fight."  Jack: "Have not!"  Barbossa: "You have so!"  Jack: "Have not!"  Barbossa: "You have so!"  Jack: "Have not!"  Barbossa: "You have so and you know it!"  Jack: "Have not slandering calopy!"  Everyone in the room glances back and forth between the two.  Gotta love Jack and Barbossa's bickering.  Jack: "I have only and ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate tradition.  I submit that here and now that is what we all must do.  We must fight, to run away!"  Okay, so I've heard it all over that it's the really good speakers who become leaders, even if in reality they're idiots.  This is just proves the point.  I mean, how in the name of John Hancock's second beard do you fight to run away?  We all know Jack comes up with the craziest ideas ever.  But he describes them as so awesomely epic that everyone cheers for him.  Except for Hector Barbossa.  Barbossa: "As per the code, an act of war, and this be exactly that, can only be declared by the pirate king."  Jack: "You made that up!"  You'd think that being the son of the Keeper of the Code, Jack would already know these kind of things.  Barbossa: "Did I now?  I call on Captain Teague, Keeper of the Code."  This one sentence puts everyone in a tizzy again.  One guy even suggests the Code is pointless.  But Teague takes care of this one buy shooting the guy in the back.  And the arguing stops, for now. . .

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